| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:43:22 PM | Is deafness a turn-off to most guys? I'm deaf, but I wasn't born deaf, meaning I talk just fine. I also wear hearing aids so I can hear pretty good for now, but the doctors say there is a high chance my hearing is going to completely descend and they aren't sure when. I know Sign Langugae and lip read very well. I know at this time with the hearing aids it wouldn't really be a problem to people, but the fact that I'm most likely giong to fully lose my hearing, is that a turn-off? Are there actaully people out there that would be willing to learn Sign Language for a girl when the time comes?
I actaully met someone, and we have been doing very well, but I haven't told him that my hearing might go away completely. Is that something I should tell him now, or wait until it actaully happens? | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:47:50 PM | | Deafness a turn off? No. "Muteness" is a turn on, however.. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:53:03 PM | OP
No way Jose that deafness is a turn-off.
But you should tell him. If I were him, I would want to know so that I could start learning sign language and in other ways prepare myself so that the deafness would not affect anything. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:56:50 PM | | Withholding information will invariably hurt you eventually. I wouldn't say deafness is an overt turn-off, although it's generally going to be a negative quality of subjective size. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:03:48 PM | Yeah, not a problem as far as I'm concerned. Although, I'm an old guy and relatively desperate at this point! 
Seriously OP, I don't see it as being a big deal. I already know 2 signs  but would certainly be willing to learn 'em all if the need arises. I'd suggest just being completely honest with anyone that you get involved with, just in case they'd have a problem with it. Which BTW, will help weed out the superficial guys, I suppose.
Good luck! | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:07:10 PM | | Better to tell people stuff earlier and no I dont think it is a big deal if he is into you otherwise.... | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:16:55 PM | Wait until it happens???? Look at it from your perspective. You are seeing him and things are going along smoothly and there is obviously a great chance they could keep going that way, right? That said,
Do YOU feel like waiting to tell him or, do you feel better in telling him now? It does not matter whatever HE would like to hear this, it all comes down to when YOU feel comfortable in telling him. If you like him and want to remain being honest with him, how long do you really want to wait? | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:17:12 PM | No baby it is not. You just do not tell them that one day you may go completely deaf. Nope. I you may not at all. But when youare 60 and God forbid it happenes I do not your husaband will like you less and kids will walk away and grandkids will start hating you. Mention it eventually but do NOT make a bid deal of it...
Honey, you read lips well an know how to talk. It is so funny I have a freind who has an older sis and she knows very well how to read lips and talks well. She can't read my lips because I am German. O.k. one day (I mean after 60) you may ned to avoid forigners. LOL. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:25:51 PM | I'm also slightly deaf, below average but I can converse.
Some accents and those who speak quietly annoy me though. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:49:08 PM | | OP , I would tell the guy that you may go completly deaf . If it makes him wrong , just look at it as his problem ... A real man that gets to know you wouldn't be bothered by that . | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:54:54 PM | | I say tell him now, and see what he is really made out of. as for me its not a deal breaker. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:38:30 PM | I'd do a deaf woman. I mean, I'd date a deaf woman. Forgive me. I am new at writing to deaf people and it's tricky getting the words right. DOES THIS HELP??? OK, ha ha, write your own jokes, then.
I am not deaf. I went to high school with a bunch of deaf kids. I never learned to sign more than the alphabet and a few choice words, but my impression was that deaf girls are really hot, going by the example of that one who rode the same bus as me. Other than that I haven't known any deaf women, just one guy I worked with for a while. I can write, learn to sign, it wouldn't be a problem for me. That's one of those little things that takes some accommodation but has no bearing on love. Would a deaf woman date me? No, she wouldn't. Being deaf does not make women desperate. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:55:34 PM | ^^^ horrid, yet oddly hysterical.
count me among the superficial, false men - i'd see deafness as a pretty high hurdle to dating someone. music is my life, and it'd be such a huge missing dimension if i couldn't share that with my partner. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:20:22 PM | Deafness doesn't mean one cannot enjoy music,the Op did state she has hearing aids! As yet she is not PROFOUNDLY deaf! I too am deaf,but enjoy music (while I still can).
But,having said that each to their own. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:44:56 PM | | ^^^ she also said she anticipates full hearing loss. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:30:48 PM | not for me, i'm deaf with out my aids in, and am learning sign,most hearing are clueless about deaf, so watch out for him making fun of you with the ahahahahah stuff, depends also if this guy is marriage material or just one of a few on the way to maturity, for those who don't know asl is the 3rd most spoken language in the US. Guys and chicks do not know how to act around deaf people unless they are deaf, try and teach him some deaf culture?? | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:34:37 PM | Not a biggee for me. I'm old enough I learned S. E. E. The only major obstacle I had with a deaf friend was when she would turn her back on me to end a converstion that SHE was finished with. But one rude woman doesn't represent all.
Why isn't there an ILY smiley? | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:07:13 PM | | Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaat? | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:18:21 PM | That is your own decision. It would be good for him to be aware of it prior to it happening so he can be prepared when it happens. Your assuming the relationship will work out and this is what will ruin it. I think if he really likes you and if you never let him know it would be a bigger shock when and if it happens.
If he wants you, if it actually that successful of a relationship, he will need to learn sign language so he will be able to communicate with you. Once the hearing is completely lost, its likely that speach will start to suffer cause you arent aware of how your pronunciating. I learned a little sign language years ago because I lived in a deaf dorm my first year in college. If it does happen and the relationship doesnt work out, there are deaf men and women who you might find a whole new world. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:22:13 PM | Relationships depend on our ability to communicate effectively. There are many disabilities that I suffer from, and deafness is not one of them. Yet, you may listen more attentively than I.
I would definitely state that you should feel free to communicate your worries with your friend. Your deafness is only a small part of who you are, but it does require you to communicate differently. A heads-up to your friend will likely increase the ability to communicate with him. | |
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| Deafness
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:42:28 PM | Oh no, deaf women are really fun. I'll take them to someplace quiet (like a picnic in the park) and then, for no reason, start whispering. When I see them move their hand to the volume control, thinking their batteries are dying, I'LL TALK REALLY LOUDLY. Sometimes I'll impersonate a fast food speaker, only using voice on random words.
Seriously, though, you are beautiful. Any guy that cannot see past your hearing isn't worth you. I know that guys have a lot of options at 18, but trust me, you will meet a guy interested in your heart. Just give them time to settle their hormones first. If that fails, just start a rumor that girls who know sign language give really good hand jobs. You'll have the guys flocking to your door in no time flat. | |
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