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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?      Home login  
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 April_Kiss
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 1
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I have been seeing this guy for around 5 weeks now. He is 22 and I'm 24! He texts me near enough every day. The first 3 weeks we saw each other every weekend, 1 week was during the day, 1 out clubbing and the other we went for a few drinks and then watched a DVD. I will note we have not slept together yet! He is extremely affectionate towards me and cant keep his hands or his eyes to himself really. He takes an interest in everything about me too and we have such a laugh together. My problem is here....It's like he either finds it hard to ask me out or hes just not that into me. He asked me out the first time after texting for ages but the next weekend he made it blatant he had no plans whats so ever, several times but never asked me out. In the end I just said did you wanna do something then and he said yes he will call after rugby to arrange which he did. Last weekend he asked what I was up to and I said I had plans fri but not sat. He said theres a rave going on and he would send me the invite on facebook which he did straight away. He then text me the next day to see if I got it. Again he hasnt really asked me out direct! I'm so confused to whether is into me or not. Sometimes he can take up to 5 hours to respond to a text I have sent but one that he had started. My question is, if you lose interest in a girl, would you keep in contact (texting) most days? And for what reason is he not asking me out? Should I just move on? Feel like hes playing games. HELP GUYS x
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 2
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:34:10 PM
You have to understand that not everything is black and white.
There doesn't have to be 2 options:
Interested / Not Interested.
There can be mildly interested enough to send a text, but not interested enough to plan a date.
There can be interested enough to grope you in the hopes of getting some action, but not interested enough to court you with romance.
There can be interested enough to respond to an invitation if there's nothing else/better to do, but not interested enough to pursue you.
There can be interested enough to tell you where he's planning to go, but not interested enough to go there specifically with you.
There can be interested enough to keep texting you if he has nothing better going on, but not interested enough to ask you out.
There can be interested enough to respond to a text, but not interested enough to respond sooner than 5 hours.
 Thaddal
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 3
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:38:11 PM
What she just said....Ditto~
 Britt884
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 4
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:39:53 PM
As a woman who has been dealing with a guy playing games for a year now, I can tell you it's an emotional rollercoaster and not a good experience. Lots of women wait around, thinking the guy might change-myself included, but that doesn't happen. If he's playing games in the beginning, he will probably continue in this pattern. I know it's so frustrating when you REALLY like someone, but just keep in mind that you are a pretty girl and there are lots of other guys out there that would love to talk to you and NOT play games.
 Ktownchicka
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 5
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:39:55 PM
I think you should try dating someone older? Younger guys really don't understand women enough, so maybe it is just an age thing? He is intimidated by you...but obviously likes you. He is probably just a little unsure of how to go about things...most guys don't figure out the game until they are in their early 30's...sometimes even later.
 SilverStarboy
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 6
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:40:05 PM
I might. Although is he still being really affectionate? One theory I have is that maybe hes too shy to ask you out.
 April_Kiss
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 7
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:40:59 PM
Good reply thank you xxx
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 8
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:49:08 PM
I agree that his age may have tons to do with it. Does he have a good job? Maybe he is financially strapped and doesn't want to pick up the tab for coffee...
 April_Kiss
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 9
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:19:40 PM
He hasn't got a steady job at the min. He works with his dad and his brother but its not every day! I dont think hes short for cash though. Maybe his dad helps him out as he has a nice big house and drives a nice car. I dont normally go for younger guys but he is so grown up, I keep thinking hes older then me. Hes definitely relationship material! I've not had this issue with a guy before where hes showing all the right signs apart from the asking out. With the taking 5 hours to respond to a text, this has only happened twice in 5 weeks. If it was most of them, I would get the hint. I think I'm just gonna play it cool and see what happens in the next few weeks. If nothing changes, it's time to move on. I'll keep my guard up this time. Thank you for all your replies. Really appreciated x
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 10
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:34:01 PM

he is so grown up-
He hasn't got a steady job
He works but its not every day
Maybe his dad helps him out
Hes definitely relationship material!
Perhaps you might want to redefine "grown up" one day.
 April_Kiss
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 11
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:09:19 PM
I see your point for sure but I'm talking about the way he is not whats happening around him. He lost his job like a lot of people at this time. He worked as a Stone Maison for 5 years and was on a very good wage so I actually think he has just saved up in this time and using this until he finds another job. Hes very intelligent and business minded. Hes not a silly little 22 year old you probably have pictured which I would have done from my message. I cant get all details written down or you would have got bored reading. All I really need to know is would a guy keep texting nearly every day and suggesting I go to places hes going if he wasnt interested? He texts at all times of the day at not just one time.

So the conclusions are
1) Hes mildly interested
2) Hes possibly shy when is comes to asking me out direct

Any others would be appreciated?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 12
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:38:50 PM
I'm going with shy..and not too experienced.
Unless he has been struck blind recently.
LOL
..OR maybe he's trying to be aloof to spark your interest.
Seems to be working.

If you like him, just tell him you expect to be ASKED.

Young guys are abit dense.
The more direct you are,
The easier it is to deal with em.

Good luck.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 13
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:36:51 PM
Here's a thought...stop texting each other and TALK. Starting with asking him why he doesn't ask you out.
 huggablekiss
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 14
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:27:44 PM
Why don't you just ask him directly?

If you want to know, he's the only one that has the answer for you.

Is he suggesting places he's going and telling you that he'll pick you up? Sometimes a guy might not be direct in asking, maybe not wanting to foot the bill as in a "date" (not economically feasible when you do not have a steady job and cannot presume "daddy" will give him allowance). While some guys wants a woman to initiate at times, not just them asking her out especially having dated a few weeks and he's the only one asking. There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out when she wants to go out with him (though I would not do it on the initial first or second date but I would after if I liked him alot).

I realize women wants the attention, the chase, the idea of being wanted but at times, I think men likes to receive similar attention.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:28:34 PM
I have this weird tic if a man doesn't ask me out on a date, or me him, then I don't assume we are dating. If we just meet up or he just suggests some party we might both go to, etc., that's not a date to me. A man who is not all that interested to bother to ask me out directly or make definite plans, then he's not all that interested and may well be seeing how much I'll put up with...as in, you teach people how to treat you.
 ChefAmber
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 16
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:13:32 PM
Its a means of keeping you on the hook while he continues fishing for something "better".
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 17
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:19:43 PM
You might want to book a doctors appointment for him, because he is obviously either blind or insane!


or both!!!


 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 18
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:19:55 PM
I dont see any problem you are both keeping in contact almost the way a couple does. It seems your into a guy formally calling and asking you out. It sounds like you have something better, he gets some feed back from you, he sees your intrested enough in him to call, he acknoledges and follows up. Ask yourself would you be better off with someone else who might do things differently than this guy, if so cut him loose, but I think your both doing it right, as of now things are working, I am sure if he cant make it he would tell you and vise versa. If your a stickler on arranging your weekends let the guy know, but when he asked you you said you were free saturday and he took that slot in your calendar.
I never assume anyone isnt intrested until I get rejected. As it stands so far you were upset cause he didnt text for five hours, when you see him ask him about the late text if its an issue. Precaution, be delicate while asking cause you are very young in the relationship, you really dont know that much about him and how he leads his life.
Not everyone is the same or does things alike if they did they would be predicatable and do you want someone like that, no surprises?
 jesseld
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 19
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:44:20 PM
Call me dense, but I'm missing the part where he didn't ask you out.

He initiated the first date.

He informed you that he had no plans, this means he's asking you if you wanna do something.

He then informed you of a party when you said you were free on a particular day and sent you an invite.

Where is the problem?

Is it conventional, depends on the person. If you want something more formal then I guess you'll have to explain it to him. Personally I don't see anything wrong with how it's being done between the two of you now.
 British Bombshell
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 20
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:14:26 PM
Maybe it's up to you to simply say "Hey, is this an invitation or just information?" That would be enough for him to respond one way or the other. If you know what you want - which, I presume, is to go on a date with him - then just say it. In my experience most guys really like it when the girl tells him what she wants. He also has insecurities you know - and, well, you are beautiful and attractive and maybe he just needs your encouragement. Don't be shy. As said earlier, there are plenty of guys who would love to be with you, so stick your neck out and say what YOU want!
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 21
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:38:46 PM
It doesn't sound like he's not interested--quite the opposite! I'd say he is a bit awkward around women, espeically one's he's attracted to. Not uncommon for 22 year old guys. My suggestion is ask him to plan something fun for the two of you to do next weekend or something. Make it a sort of joke or game between you. Then he'll know to come up with an idea.
 4gotnsoul
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 22
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:51:07 PM
Ahhh...the Ravers! Nice fun and mostly dope venues. Souds like an addict. UR PRETTY, SO GO FIND A MAN WHO ISN'T HIGH ON DOPE AND CAN'T FOMULATE PLANS AND PROCESSES NORMALLY. Just guessing!
 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 23
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:59:24 PM

So the conclusions are
1) Hes mildly interested
2) Hes possibly shy when is comes to asking me out direct

3) He might have been hurt before
4) Somebody else is putting the moves on him
5) He's a moron
6) He's a virgin
7) He's gay
8) et al...

Regardless, what's holding you back?
It seems you like the guy. Why aren't you doing something about it, rather than wait for him to do it?
What do you when you're thirsty?
You are the one most responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment.

Don't wait for others to determine that....
 jlorence
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 24
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Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:17:14 PM
You're a model, you're beautiful, and he's probably just intimidated by you. I know I would be
 Ktownchicka
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 25
Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:11:58 PM
I'm pretty sure the whole "stringing you along, waiting to see if something better comes along" thing doesn't apply here. Like really. I am pretty sure that would be stupid. I think maybe he wants to wait until he has steady income to ask you-ask you out...maybe he is just biding his time right now, keeping your interest up at least....until he can afford to take you out and buy you things and basically treat you like the freaking hot sexy lady you are. Maybe he also doesn't want to have to discuss his job situation as well, because most women want men with jobs....so if he keeps it casual for now, he doesn't have to worry about looking like a fool in front of you. Which would suck. Like big time...
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