| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:26:47 PM | I have found a few people on here interesting and have sent them messages, but for some reason do not get any replies.
So what is the etiquette on here, should I try to chat first, eg ask a few questions, comment on their profile (which is what I have been doing). Or should I just ask if they would like to meet up? Should I get talking to people, how soon is too soon to ask them out? | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:31:42 PM | There is no special etiquette to follow.
You'll have to develop a feel for it. Some people would want to chat for a long time, some people would prefer to meet sooner rather than later.
Think of it this way: minimize the waste of time. Meeting someone who's totally incompatible is a waste of time. A few messages back and forth may reveal that and save you a few hours. However, messaging for months eventually becomes a waste of time too - you keep messaging, everything seems perfect, but when you eventually meet them you don't like each other at all. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:21:46 PM | WTF? You said you didnt get a reply? And your wondering when to ask them out?
You MOVE ON when they don't reply there is nothing to advance to. There is no chat or IM or dates or anything. They are not interested. I mean how many clues do you need?
If they do not reply your not going to date, or IM or chat or meet and don't ask them out....
No reply is a clue here. They are not interested.
I am NOT picking on ya at all I just don't begin to get what you are possibly thinking is going to advance from "they won't reply".
Your done. Move on to the next fish!
Cowboy | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:37:49 PM | Yes, do what you are doing. Don't ask to meet in your first message to them.
If you do get talking to someone, some will want to exchange numbers before meeting, others will be more willing to meet sooner, and some never want to meet and spoil their fantasies. How soon is dependant on when you feel like doing it. When I was single, I've met within a couple days to never (usually a distance or incompatibility or both problem).
There really are no rules or etiquette, just common sense and whatever you can make work for you. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:06:48 PM |
but for some reason do not get any replies.
not interested
read/delete =not interested
read/not deleted +no response =dim hope best move on
The best thing to do is to tell them what you liked about their profile and what prompted you to write them in particular. Do not mention meeting. That is a given, why else would you be messaging them? Hopefully they are not people that have e-mail/chat buddies only.
The first step after that is to get a response, do not message them again until you do. In the first message try to say as little about yourself as possible. Just ask them to read your profile and get back to you if interested. Otherwise they may think it is a form letter you send to a lot of women. It is better to send a short first message that is unique to them than a long letter that is all about you and completely unoriginal. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:56:12 PM | | I find using negative psycology gets them to open your email everytime. Just say,"Dont open this email, under any circumstance" believe me it will drive them crazy not to open it. The contents is left up to you. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:40:07 AM |
WTF? You said you didnt get a reply? And your wondering when to ask them out?
You MOVE ON when they don't reply there is nothing to advance to. There is no chat or IM or dates or anything. They are not interested. I mean how many clues do you need?
If they do not reply your not going to date, or IM or chat or meet and don't ask them out....
No reply is a clue here. They are not interested.
I am NOT picking on ya at all I just don't begin to get what you are possibly thinking is going to advance from "they won't reply".
Your done. Move on to the next fish!
Cowboy
Wow, I've been reading the forums off and on since I signed up, simply as a curious observation of online interactions and I've been dismayed to varying degrees by how easy it is for some people to give needlessly rude replies.
COWBOY, I think you missed the last sentence of the OP's post:
"Should I get talking to people, how soon is too soon to ask them out?"
He's asking IF HE GETS TO THE POINT OF CONVERSING WITH SOMEONE, how long should he wait to ask for a face-to-face.
I doubt he would be stupid enough to ask:
"No one is responding to my emails. When should I ask them out?"  | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:05:17 AM | | ^^^ Yeah I saw that earlier. Not defending anyone but the reaction was prompted by the misunderstanding he responded to. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:36:21 AM | Hi!
Well your profile is not too bad - I have seen a lot worse! So maybe its the content of your first emails that are the problem. What do you write? Is it along the lines of "Hey, how's you" or "How are you today" or "Would you like to chat?"............if so then you may hardly ever get a reply. You need to find something in the profile that you might have in common and ask a few questions......
And never copy and paste the same body of text to girls.............
If you do a thread search on here you will find most guys struggle to get responses. Just the way it is on here. Don't give up - just keep trying and put a little thought into that first email.
If you get chatting to a girl then ask them out when it feels natural, at the right time.............just don't blurt it out on the 2nd email! :O)
Good luck!! | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:38:27 AM |
How quick should I move on here?
Lightening; otherwise another fish is going to beat you to her.
Reason for no reply = no interest.
Etiquette = None.
If they respond, you just start a conversation as you would if they were face-to-face, and when you're both comfy switch to a dialogue via phone. Nothing is set in stone, so just take it one step at a time. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:57:14 AM | I would say the folks on here that are rude are rude in real life as well. Just move on you don't want them anyway. There are a couple of ladies I have sent emails to that have not replied. I somewhat know them socially IRL and got the feeling they were jerks this just renforced my opinion of them.
Some of the ladies here have been very nice so it is nice to be nice to the nice. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:07:43 AM | Every woman has a different comfort level.
Some women drop their phone number before we even exchange names.
Some prefer to take messaging from PoF to an IM like Yahoo, to phone texts, to facebook, then to a phone call, then meeting in person.
Some prefer meeting after several weeks of e-mailing, some prefer meeting after one or two messages.
My recommendation is to send at least 3 messages back and forth to determine if it's even worth your while. Other people prefer several more. You need to assess that on your own. | |
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| How quick should I move on here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:29:35 PM |
OP~ should I try to chat first, eg ask a few questions, comment on their profile (which is what I have been doing). Or should I just ask if they would like to meet up? Should I get talking to people, how soon is too soon to ask them out?
Msg 13: Every woman has a different comfort level.
Some women drop their phone number before we even exchange names.
Some prefer to take messaging from PoF to an IM like Yahoo, to phone texts, to facebook, then to a phone call, then meeting in person.
Some prefer meeting after several weeks of e-mailing, some prefer meeting after one or two messages.
My recommendation is to send at least 3 messages back and forth to determine if it's even worth your while. Other people prefer several more. You need to assess that on your own.
Pretty much it...  | |
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