| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:11:03 PM | I was dating a guy for not much less than a year. but about two months ago I moved back home (across the country) to be around my family and go to school. He tells me he is going to move here as soon as he can, but he doesnt seem like he is really into it. When I bring it up to him he says its going to happen and he wants to move here. tells me how much he loves me and everything but the past week or two he has seemed so distant when we talk. We have this thing where we talk to eachother every night before bed so that we can tell eachother goodnight. but he keeps promising me he will call and then doesnt. the next day he says he fell asleep or that he was busy and endlessly apologizes. its not every night or anything. but I dont like it.
This guy is my world and I love him so much, but I cant figure out if he is just keeping me around cause he is so afraid of me not being in his life or if he really is coming. he has told me numerous times he would do anything to stay close. but would he lie to me just to have what he wants? is it worth the wait? Im at a loss for what to think. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:15:21 PM | | Sounds freakishly insecure and highly suspicious and needlessly pessimistic and astoundingly contradictory to me, since you asked. Try thinking this: The more I freak out and worry and resent him over a couple of missed phone calls, the stranger I will get when he does call, making him seriously think hard about ever coming here even if he didn't have any doubts to begin with. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:15:37 PM | you're 19.. you really need a HUGE dose of reality
Damn.. two other posters (one being my TRUE Love) beat me to it.
Ok.. that being said..
LESS than a year.. that means you started at 18.. with ALL the adult maturity of.. Hmmm.. a child who just was given her life pinkslip
You make an intelligent decision to pursue your life's goals with schooling AND be closer to family.. Ok.. good decision so far
But lo and behold some PENI starts LYING ( he says he is going to move here) but then starts TRUTHING ( he becomes distant when we talk)
AND THEN THE KICKER(as they say)
"We have this thing where we talk to eachother every night before bed so that we can tell eachother goodnight.".. Oh how CUTE and harlequinesque-fantasy-for-LITTLE IMMATURE GIRLS
but then.. OH NO.. He...... PROMISES to call.. and DOESNT. (Reality check=typical)
then we head into brainlesstwitism
"This guy is my world and I love him so much"
Honey, sweetie, harlequindarlin
Yes.. He is TEENplayin you.. that is what TEEN CHILDREN do.
Pursue your life as you are doing.. school.. family support.. and go read my post history with the part about how LITTLE GIRLS like you need to PLAN A LIFE.
dont get your already-have-had-sex-so-I'm-NOT-the-little-girl panties in a bunch at learning the truth.. and instead go read.. learn.. and grow up some.
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:17:18 PM | | makes sense...but at the same time, I dont wanna put my life on hold if im just going to be disappointed in the end. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:30:35 PM |
just because im nineteen doesnt have anything to do with me and reality....
Spoken like a true nineteen year old. Girl, you just proved his point!
You're both too young to be making relocation decisions.
Let the wonder of what you had be just that. Let go. Live life. Move ahead. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:34:35 PM | | I understand where all of you are coming from. I just didnt think my age was going to affect a simple post. thats all. but thanks for your opinions. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:43:55 PM | You moved.
He didn't.
Why should he move to you?
Maybe he's financially unable to.
Maybe he can't find a job where you're at.
He probably does like you.
But you're where you're at.
He's where he is.
As time goes on his life will run a different course.
so will yours.
he'll meet another.
Maybe already has, but can't tell you.
But you will too.
Focus on school.
Don't expect much from him.
Not that he's a bad sort.
Just you moved away from him.
And that's how it is. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:52:48 PM | Heres the thing, i think your gonna get that text message saying we need to see other people..
i dont know this guy, but uprooting and relocating is hard for anyone, especially the fact he will only know you there (assuming he isnt someone you met at home and moved with you to wherever now saying hes going back)
it sounds like you are insecure (but then again who isnt these days) if he misses a call, maybe hes out with friends, after awhile, small things like calling each night feels like a chore, makes it harder to wanna do it, so maybe he needs those few nights now and again to replenish his batteries so he can handle the next few nights of feeling like hes forced into making the call.
Your age does matter to a point, being 19 (and even me being 21) still growing, still tasting life for the first time, still experiencing things, to say it doesnt is very immature.
What you need to do is, take a few days to re-evaluate where your life is going, and if you feel hes gonna be a part of it, i honestly without a doubt think he wont, but as i stated, i dont know him...
Also, stating someone is your world is giving them to much power over your emotions and to much control over your life, you are your world, he is just part of it
cheers | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:58:45 PM | Gee. Maybe he became distant when he received a dose of reality for himself, when he saw your profile in which you state that for a First Date: Dinner, and coffee, would be fine.
 ... Plz.
** Thread Out for me, folks ... G'Nite** | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:00:08 PM |
He tells me he is going to move here as soon as he can
If he meant that - he'd already be there.
he keeps promising me he will call and then doesnt
Do you want your BF to be someone who lies to you, and won't keep his commitments?
(Note: use of the word "commitment" was no accident)
I understand where all of you are coming from. I just didnt think my age was going to affect a simple post.
These two statements are mutually exclusive. Either you understand where we're coming from, or you don't think your age will be a factor - both can't be true. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:26:17 PM | I was not refering to age when I said I understood.
We are not "together" while we are in two diff. states so all that stuff about him being my boyfriend and lying or maybe he is seeing other people are not my concern.
Thanks for the feed back!! | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:28:38 PM | sparkling rose---Fyi hes not the type of guy to let what I wrote as my ideal date bother him. nor does it bother him that I have the profile. considering it states that im looking for a friend....
thanks for your opinion tho | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:32:55 PM | | This sounds like he is nowhere near ready to cross the country and start a new life. He may have meant it when he said he'd do anything to be near you. But the reality of making such a move, when the moment arrives, can be daunting. You say nothing about what he is leaving behind. Does a good job, friends, family, etc? Ask him directly what he wants. It sounds like he may be trying to drift away. Don't let him. At least he owes you a straight answer. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:30:03 AM | Why would you ask for advice then disagree with what everyone is telling you? Typical 19 year old.
This guy is my world
Then you need to get out of fantasy land and get with the real world. This guy has just enough interest in you to string you along. He says he's afraid of you not being in his life? Um, if he doesn't call you and you don't see each other, you're not in each other's lfie. You're better off reading a romance novel and hoping for that to come true than listening to that clown you talk to when he has nothing better to do. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:44:30 AM | OP, It seems that it is painfully obvious to everyone but you that this is not a situation that you are going to be able to keep this relationship.
Yes .....age definately has something to do with it. A young guy that has the rest of his life ahead of him, and probably doesnt even know what his favorite food is yet, is not likely going to move clear across the country to keep a relationship that is not quite a year old alove.
Move on my dear, because it is fairly obvious that he has, even if he hasnt sais it yet. | |
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| How should I interpret the signs?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:33:10 AM | | I dont understand why you would move cross country to go to school if you love him? I mean really, there are schools in every state and if you lived in that state a year you even get residency tuition, you were only two months from residency. I dont see how this has become an issue of his feelings and him now being on the side of the country you both resided in originally. | |
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