| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:29:20 PM | I met this girl and dated her for about a month. At the beginning, things were going well. Or so I thought. And then she started drinking a lot and getting high too much for my liking. That's when she started to ask me for money.
Everytime she would ask, she would say that she'd come see me even if I couldn't give her the money. And when I couldn't, she would suddenly have other things to do before seeing me.
She had trust issues from the start. Always thought I was messing around with my ex behind her back, even when I had cut my ex out of my life and told her so.
A week before she broke up with me, every day was a fight with her. A downright screaming match, which I've never experienced in a relationship before. The anger was getting to be too much.
When we finally went our separate ways, I thought that meant things would be over. I started receiving threatening messages from her best friend and my ex & 4 friends even showed up at my work one day when I wasn't there and asked for me. Apparently my ex has been telling people I hit her and cheated on her, which isn't true. I swear on my Gramma's grave.
Just an hour ago I looked out my bedroom window and noticed that it had been egged. I live in a basement apartment. The egg shells were all lined up on the window ledge outside.
I don't know what to do. I've asked her to leave me alone. I've blocked her on my e-mail and Facebook and sites like that where she used to be able to contact me.
But the egg incident? That's taking it too far now.
Any advice would be Greatly appreciated! | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:37:33 PM | What do the laws in your country/area allow? Here in California one would make sure it was the ex, and then get a restraining order, which is a legal document from the police/sheriff department that forbids someone from coming near you or where you live. I would also keep a journal that contains copies of any text messages, emails, postal mail from her. And an ex can often get others to do the egging, so if you know and trust your neighbors, give them a heads up so they can keep their eyes and ears open, to call the police.
~Beth~ | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:39:44 PM | She found a total of 7 people who hate you???
I took a psychology class in college. For one of the exercises we had a glass jar in front of us. Everybody got to take a piece of paper and write on it what they thought of you. The notes were anonymous. At the end of the class, we were allowed to read the notes to ourselves. Before we started the teacher said: "Look - no one is going to be liked by everyone. Most of you will have at least one or two notes saying that you are a jerk. That's ok. But if 5 or 6 are telling you that you are a jerk? You are probably a jerk."
Your post reminded me of this. No offense, OP... but it may be time for some inner reflection. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:29:14 PM | Thanks for the input Soft. Just so you know, I'd only met her friends once. The reason they all showed up at my work is because she told them I hit her.
It never happened. They believed her anyway. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:10:03 AM | | Surveillance cameras are amazing. I suggest that you check them out. There is nothing like proof on video, and they are relatively inexpensive these days, and can be picked up at your local electronics store for less than you would spend on a new outfit. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:28:38 AM | | Wow sounds eggciting! Sorry, couldn't resist. You need to get the police involved if this girl keeps it up. She sounds totally crazy and only after one month. Imagine if you dated longer. Wow! | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:32:39 AM | OP -- Well it's refreshing to know that heteros don't have exclusivity to psycho exes...
Juvenile behavior can't be wished away. At your ages, even the threat of the law sometimes ain't even enough. Still, it's all you got, so at least file a complaint and this creates a paper trail if nothing else.
Next time you get a misgiving (you mentioned trust)...don't ignore it. Guy feelings and instinct should never be ignored. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:01:33 AM | Mate seriously get the police involved even if no immediate action is taken, just so you build a repore with them for when those friends of hers roll around to give you a beating. Sorry mate, my instinct tells me that's where this is headed.
Happens. At least if you've already been in touch with the police the local station will have some idea what's going on already if you look outside your window and see four guys walking up with bats, and have to call them for attendance. Quickens things up a bit.
Oh and don't date psycho druggies. They usually have psycho druggie mates, who bash things. It's the nothing to lose crowd.
Honestly I'm sorry to possibly frighten you like this but I think you kinda bought your way into it with this chick. Gotta learn how to keep ahead of stuff like this in life, kiddo. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:37:53 AM | Of course a restraining order is the way to go.
If it's any consolation, I can assure you that if she's as wacko as you say, there's plenty of other people who know what she's all about too.
I'd be willing to bet the police are more than acquainted with her. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:38:56 AM |
Maybe you should smack her up - Give her something to talk about.
Nice! A woman telling a man to hit another woman! No wonder our society is messed up
Not that I support violence in any form but it was a WOMAN telling a WOMAN to smack a WOMAN. There is no men involved here.
The op is a gal and her ex is a gal. She is a lady seeking females.
Does this clear the picture a tad. It is still wrong on so many levels I wont comment but.... get your facts straight.
Cowboy | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:29:00 AM |
I don't know what to do. I've asked her to leave me alone. I've blocked her on my e-mail and Facebook and sites like that where she used to be able to contact me.
But the egg incident? That's taking it too far now.
Any advice would be Greatly appreciated!
tell them next time that you like your eggs cooked over easy. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:39:13 AM | Wow.. I missed that the OP was a woman
Those whacked out lebanese.. First flying carpets in fables.. now carpetmunching psychos.. what's next?
When will we ever find Whirled Peas on earth and SalvationArmy towards Men? | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:49:07 AM | It sounds like your ex has some serious mental issues. It's a good thing you got out after only a month.
If the harassment continues, definitely seek a restraining order. I really hope things don't escalate.
Hopefully this girl will meet someone new soon to concentrate on and inflict her wrath upon. Its pretty messed up that she's turning herself into a victim for no reason. She obviously needs mental help, but you can't do anything to help her... except keep your distance and hope it blows over. Whatever you do, do not contact her again. It will only lead to more trouble (from personal experience). Good luck, Underdog! | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:52:45 AM |
Police report, complaint, then a restraining order.
Concurred. They'll probably offer to walk you through the process of getting the restraining order when you file the complaints - and I believe that under your local law, as here, harassment and vandalism both apply criminally. Don't feel like a wimp or as if you're overreacting because you have to do this. You've been left no other choice; otherwise it'll just escalate. You have to assume that you are in physical danger, because it's possible.
Some social and professional exercises are in order, too. Your friends need to know that you're experiencing this so that they can be there as support for you, and also, to help keep this from needlessly ruining your reputation. It may not be too late for some pre-emptive strikes with mutual acquaintances and at work; your employer needs to know that this is happening and you're doing everything you can to discourage it, and acquaintances need to hear from you first, where possible, what the truth is here. They may say they don't wanna hear it or don't wanna get involved, but you know they'll talk about it as soon as you hang up. I guarantee she's already using the network in this way. It's fair to fight back in kind. | |
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| Ex girlfriend shows up at work, eggs my house. help?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:57:08 AM | I met this girl and dated her for about a month
The key word is "girl". Try dating young women, not "girls" in the future, you may find them to be less psycho and dramatic. I know that it is only a piece of paper, but you may want to consider a restraining order against her and her deciples. Good luck.  | |
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