| She said im different...
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:45:32 PM | Unlike most guys she meets she cant read me what-so-ever. She can never tell what im thinking etc...
Is this a bad thing or is the mystery a good thing??
Its really just how I am but how can I show her more of me without breaking my comfort-zone of keeping things light.
I have been through a lot in my life and I was never really raised to show feelings (kind of a distant family) and in the past when I have I've been hurt. Unfortunately I dont know how to overcome this or what I can do to change. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:59:28 PM | Mystery gets tiresome.
Buy Hallmark cards and stuff to show your feelings | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:23:34 PM | | How to overcome it? Easy. Takes one step at a time. Talk about things even though you feel uncomfortable talking about, like your feelings. Takes practice and you have to practice it especially in a relationship that you want to keep. I was once like that. I was raised like you. I had to forced myself little by little to talk about my emotions, feelings, thoughts, etc. Takes time to finally to be more open and more vocal. Now, I can't stand people who keeps things to themselves. lol b/c yes, you can't read them. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:46:51 AM | | If I wanted to pull teeth I would have been a dentist. Men who play these "I keep my feelings to myself" bullshit can stay with themselve's. Sorry if you had a shitty past; sorry if you cannot communicate. I am way to busy to have to wonder and figure someone out. Change your ways and lose the excuses or life is going to suck. We have ALL been hurt. Get over it. To change you simply, have to want to. Life is already busy and complicated. Why should I have to sit and figure out a lover? No thanks. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:40:17 AM | Another one that needs a brick in the head. Who do you think you are, Austin Powers? Get off that mystery thing and 'open' up. Unless your gf is clairvoyant, she will never know what not to say to you to piss you off, when you are feeling okay, or whatever.
Women are very good at body language and most of the time get the gist of something that has a double meaning, that is if you are in a sarcastic mood. So unless you know how to express yourself, you have no business dating as this requires you to be open to the person who has the potential of being a significant other.
Nuff said!!! | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:38:57 AM |
Men who play these "I keep my feelings to myself" bullshit can stay with themselve's. Ditto....  | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:21:53 AM | | I can't read my guy.. and it's incredibly frustrating for me. Most of the others I have been able to read. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:39:28 AM | I don't know that it is something I would brag about if you are in a relationship.
If you do it on purpose it is called games.
If you want her to be open with you, be open with her.
You are missing a lot.
Everyone human has been hurt or let down somehow ...no exclusive club there. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:40:10 AM | | If I can't "read" him and he won't open up, then I'm not wasting my time. Simple as that !!! | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:17:05 AM | OK wait stop...because women also say if the guy comes right out and says what he's thinking it's too easy. So which one is it?
What the goldilocks and the three bears?! Then they tell you..take pictures with people in them while holding red balloons. Oh but make sure none of those people are of the opposite sex if they look good, it makes us feel insecure.
In other words BE YOURSELF. Don't listen to women, they'll mess you up. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:36:58 AM | OP! This is a VERY good thing! It's the sort of thing, you want to hear from a woman! Spilling your guts, revealing your feelings (especially for her) , letting it all out, kills the mystery and attraction, particularly if done very early in the relationship.
Many women will claim that this isn't true. What they say they want and what triggers their attraction mechanisms (That they have ABSOLUTELY no control over) are two entirely different things!
Besides, how many women have I seen post stories on here and tell me in real life about guys that blurt out their feelings, and kill the woman's attraction right then and there!
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:44:06 AM | If you are consistent and she is attentive, she will eventually get better at reading you. But you have to pay attention to when she seems frustrated or confused by you, and help her out by: telling her what you're thinking.
In the meantime, work on feeling your feelings. If you're happy, let yourself feel happy. If you're sad, let yourself feel sad. Your feelings aren't bad or wrong, they're just there. Don't try to control a relationship by pretending you don't have them or denying that they affect you. Start with simple things and practice saying out loud how you feel. Then when big emotional things come up, you have some experience of how to deal with your thoughts and feelings, other than the old bottle-em-up-inside trick.
You don't have to be all gushy and blubbery, just open your mouth and say something. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:32:18 AM |
She can never tell what im thinking etc...
Do you expect her to read your mind?
Does your profile list "must be clairvoyant" as a trait you seek?
If you are too shut down to let a woman know what you are thinking, you definitely need to practice sharing more of yourself. No question. Pacing yourself in sharing yourself is a good thing. But flat out withholding to the point that she's frustrated is just dysfunctional and maybe even manipulative.
Its really just how I am but how can I show her more of me without breaking my comfort-zone of keeping things light.
It's not "light" if a woman is frustrated and feeling closed out. She seems to want to know more than you're sharing, and you're withholding. That's fairly stereotypical of men. Some women really seem to like it. But, IMO, most women are looking for a man who is available mentally, emotionally and psychologically.
I have been through a lot in my life and I was never really raised to show feelings (kind of a distant family) and in the past when I have I've been hurt. Unfortunately I dont know how to overcome this or what I can do to change.
That's a lame story. Stop telling it and make a new choice.
Everyone's been hurt. Some of us have been hurt so bad we thought our hearts would stop. So what?! Are you going to be an available man who connects with his woman in the ways she finds rewarding? If not, cut her loose now so she can find what she needs in another.
It sounds like you need some healing. Open up and let your lady be a part of that healing, by choosing new communication strategies that are open and vulnerable. Only inside that vulnerability will your healing take place. Until you do that, you're going to keep telling yourself that your past dictates your future. And no deep and lasting love will blossom in that paradigm. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:42:59 AM | What can you do to change
stop playing games and treat each new day just as it is, a new day, a new woman a new friend and if you know how you feel about her tell her like it is, BS if you cant say I like/love/cant stand/dispise you - whatever - this is a bit of a troll post.
99% of people using the internet for dates know how they feel, 98% have been hurt badly but are willing to forget the past and give every new person that comes into their lives a chance about 2% actually get dates or mates - so cut the BS and if someone lets you know you are liked meet them and get your life going again, stop wollowing in self pity and think
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO someone likes me and smile about it Good Luck
PS you are allowed to forget the bad bits 
Not angry not bitter, just responding the post as I read it  | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:17:59 PM | | Take those first few steps because believe me sometimes it takes a long time to change. I would suggest finding support from others where you can. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:21:05 PM | | I'm with Landra on this! It gets old and I don't enjoy being a mind-reader! | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:23:26 PM | The ability to read people is somewhat an illusion. I.e. it feels like we understand the person, but do we really? But it makes us feel better about ourselves when we think we understand them.
I'd say it's a bad sign that she had to mention that she can't read you. It's uncomfortable to feel to have no clue what the other person is thinking. Not to control you, but to be on the same page with you. If you are sad, for example, but she doesn't understand it, and continues to be cheerful, eventually it's an awekward sutuation. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:03:25 PM | Is this a bad thing or is the mystery a good thing??
For me? Bad. I hate mystery in close friends and lovers. Hate it. There's not a g-damn thing I find attractive about it. For her? Who the hell knows but her. What does she say?
Its really just how I am but how can I show her more of me without breaking my comfort-zone of keeping things light.
If you have to break your emotional comfort zone with her then she ain't the one, buddy. Find someone compatible. Life's too short. Trust me on this.
Unfortunately I dont know how to overcome this or what I can do to change.
There is nothing to overcome. You just need to find a compatible woman. (Be careful to notice that I wrote "compatible" not "contemptible" - Those are far, far different things.)
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:18:58 PM | Unless someone's a psychic noone can read anyone.
I can predict what people will do or say if it's someone I've known, as behavior usually follows a pattern. If you are around someone enough, then you are able to guess how they're likely to react if you recognize the behavior patterns and triggers.
I don't believe you indicated how well you know each other, but if you're not communicative or very expressive then that's probably what she was meaning to say.
I'm with the others, someone who keeps all that stuff bottled up, don't have the time nor the patience. You just can't get to know someone if they don't communicate or express themselves much. I let those kind of people be a TOTAL mystery as I walk away.....haha. | |
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| She said im different...
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:12:16 PM | If I want mystery, I'll read a novel. My last boyfriend was Mr. Mysterious. You know why? (In his case, anyway.) Because he lied and cheated, cheated and lied. It took a team of horses to get any information out of him, and then it took weeks for the horses to let go of that information. Never again. If you can't be open with me, I'm just going to assume what I assumed (and correctly so) about him: that you have a lot to hide (which in my ex's case, he did/does). He was my first, and last, Mr. Mystery. Give me an open book anytime.  | |
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