| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:27:52 AM | Just a question. Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Since the fist post has to be at least 200 spaces, I add the following.
This is a place where LOTS of grievances (real and perceived) are aired by both knowledgable and articulate posters as well as others who are neither. Does reading these posts now affect the way that you approach new dates? Good or bad? In other words, do you think that it might be easier if you weren't exposed to the experience and attitudes of the other fishies. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:36:31 AM | I think the forums serve a positive purpose. You're right that there's a lot of flaming and non-sense going on here, but there's also value in understanding how others think. Particularly, the opposite sex!
Based on what I've read here, my approach to certain things in dating has changed. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:46:13 AM | Yes, it has been a very interesting experience to be involved in the forums, and before I met my mate, I had seen a lot about people not having boundaries, OR had unrealistic expectations...
As well I seen how people mature, OR NOT, become bitter, or not...
Yep there is a lot of grievance, lol, those seem to be the more popular threads...
I have posted a couple threads myself, and despite the mean postings, for the most part there were some really solid ideas for me to think about... Life doesn't always afford us a good instruction book on dealing with every issue that comes up in life...
I however have noted there are some really pissed off bitter people, that if they actually read the poison they posted, they may actually understand why dating, and or relationships aren't their forte'.
Personally I think it depends on what a person is looking for, as well as their own out look in life, if it is bitter, then bitter is what is written about, if it is positive, and there is self love, then that shows as well... THEN there is everything in between...
What is gained, OR not depends on the person I think... | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:43:04 AM | i'd like to think that i'm intelligent enough to arrive at my cynicism independently and for its own good reasons. excuse me, *dating* makes me cynical about dating... [cries uncle!] but these days, i ain't so sure. i think i just became someone who wants to get married "soon" (according new to POF search engine).
p.s. aww i think this place is great! my daily a.m. train wreck w/ coffee. plus there are some really funny & smart regulars here. if you really want to see some completely, insufferably effed-up people, go check out the forums over at singlesnet. :::eyeroll::: | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:52:13 AM | Reading some of the negative stuff makes me realize I've actually had a whole lot more positive experience than some out there. *knocks on wood*
Its a good place to air, vent, swap opinions and kill time ... just take everything here w/ a grain of salt.
 | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:52:34 AM |
You're right that there's a lot of flaming and non-sense going on here, but there's also value in understanding how others think. Particularly, the opposite sex!
True that.
I find it very interesting, sometimes disturbing how others think. LOL
But hey, they have the right to voice their opinion.
Wish the posts still would be on the bottom of your profile, I think it would be useful to decide if you want to meet that person. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:47:49 AM | I was pretty cynical before... so the forums just reinforce my low opinion of the general population. Though I will admit, when I come across a bona fide nice, decent person, I value them a hell of a lot higher than I did before...
After all, they're in short supply on here... | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:57:07 AM | Reading the forums made me less cynical because it reinforced what i already knew and helped me to realize how others think and why.
It's the only place you are going to get brutally honest opinions that have merit.
And that can only help make you realize how your thinking differs and what would make you more succeessful in how you approach things going forward. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:16:42 AM |
It's the only place you are going to get brutally honest opinions that have merit. Actually, my family and friends also give me absolute honesty and extremely well thought out responses when I have an issue. As a matter of fact, I would never come on here to ask for direction or opinion in a very personal matter. Not only am I a private person, but there is no way someone on a forum can understand the situation and me well enough to offer constructive advice/criticism.
All the while I'm responding to questions from other people, I'm wondering also why they're posting it up on here rather than going to the people closest to them for a better opinion. I don't get the whole baring your soul to strangers thing... | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:48:11 AM | Reading the forums these past four years has done the following for me:
1) It's made me infinitely more appreciative of my formal education, especially each time I encounter some of the more egregious mutilations of the English language...
2) I've come to realize that there are indeed as diverse a range of opinions/beliefs as there are people, and while all should be handled delicately with respect, people are less likely to do so with views that are in drastic opposition to their own...
3) It has reaffirmed my cautions about sensitive issues like unexpected pregnancy, divorce settlements, and just male-female interaction in general. Note though that it hasn't sparked any apprehensions that weren't already there, I've simply been given a wider sample size from which to draw empirical observations.
4) Lastly I've come to the conclusion that humanity is quite decisively doomed to die under the colossal weight of its own sheer ignorance...
But at least these forums prove entertaining as I sit back and watch society crumble one atrophied brain cell at a time...   | |
|
| |
| |
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:44:17 AM | | I already know how wonderful (online) dating can be based on several great relationships and my current awesome relationship. So, I'm not any more or less cynical, but do have a better understanding of some of the issues and concerns people write about here - many of which I haven't encountered previously. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:54:30 AM | Nah, I was already cynical about dating.
But the forums have taught me a lot of things:
1- Man bad/woman good
2- all men (most men) are scum and only out for sex.
3- Men are liars (though the common spelling of that tends to be liers)
4- Men are cheap
5- Men cannot be trusted
6- Woman bad/man good
7-all women (most women) are scum and will never have sex again
8- Women are liars (though spelling differs)
9- Women are cheap
10-Women cannot be trusted.
Basically the forums have taught me what I already knew. Men and women are......people. | |
|
| |
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:08:16 AM | Reading the forums hasn't really changed how I approach dating, nor has it affected my level of cynicism.
It has made me realize just how clueless many are when it comes to understanding human interaction.
The side benefit is that I can come here to occasionally indulge in the guilty pleasure of watching human train wrecks instead of having to find Jerry Springer on TV. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:56:40 AM |
This is a place where LOTS of grievances (real and perceived) are aired by both knowledgable and articulate posters as well as others who are neither. Does reading these posts now affect the way that you approach new dates? Good or bad? In other words, do you think that it might be easier if you weren't exposed to the experience and attitudes of the other fishies.
nope.
It makes me realize how lucky I am that I'm no longer dating.  | |
|
| |
| |
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:41:00 AM | | I view reading the forums as a positive experience. Get some good laughs every now and then. I tend to stay out of the "heartbreak hotel" section. Way too much drama for me. Its been a while since I've dated, so reading others views has helped me. And I'm always interested in how the opposite thinks. I've really enjoyed reading in the over 45 category. Nice to know there are others who think like I do. All in all -- its been a real positive for me and probably one of the best features of this whole dating site. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:50:00 AM | Being very honest, in my experience, the arguments that I see here on the forums (who pays on a date, the 'third date rule,' and female/male roles in dating, etc.) simply don't apply in the outside world - at least, they haven't once applied to ME, in my experiences.
The forum arguments did make me MUCH more hesitant to get out there and date, but I've found that the gentlemen in my age group (that I've met and dated) are still the way they've always been - they haven't changed. I have yet to encounter any of the issues that are constantly argued about ad nauseum here on the POF forums.
JMHO. | |
|
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:02:47 AM | Msg:1,
Reading the forums on dating ,makes me more smart and skilled, it gave me the pros and con of the bad/good experiences of women and men help me to have an insight of where I am heading it is an open diversity of trials and errors which is a natural process of life lesson.. The inpact of the error is not that hard when you have some knowledge..... Of course I don't depend living my life on every thing they say, I use my mind on how to date/ meet guys/ etc.. For me it is like a map of a jungle, how to avoid the dangerous path, and check the danger on that path ,if it is really a big poisonous snake or just a big old rope..... | |
|
| |
| Does reading the forums make you more or less cynical about dating?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:32:44 AM | | OP, I don't think it has made me more cynical, but it has opened my eyes to the BS that's out there. I guess, in a way it's good to read these forums so that if/when it happens to me I won't be surprised as there are others who have experienced the same thing. I'm still very much open to meeting that special man, but being aware that some men are only looking for a booty call, maybe lying about their marital status and so forth can be a good thing by reading about others dating experiences. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
