| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:59:27 AM | Any tips on dealing with them?
She was my first real relationship and it's like I've been branded.
It's been a while now (nearly 2 years), and we went out for 4. I think about her less and less but every once in a while she just pops into my head. I just came across a recent picture of her by accident and it sent me reeling with emotion. Can't even talk about it, just don't know what to say. With the time now I know we weren't meant for each other but I miss the companionship, it's just a lonely life. And between work and school I have no time to find someone new so I just keep thinking about her and what I lost.
Anyway if any of you have advice feel free to give it. | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:51:17 AM | Burn/delete her pictures.
Make an effort to better yourself. You said you're working and in school, do you really want a relationship with someone else whilst still going through the breakup?
Reduce the emotional baggage now or it will interfere with your later life. | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:59:41 AM | | Your self worth isnt measured by wether or not you are in a relationship...take a hold of your life...and get it together...otherwise...you are going to have a long hard life ahead of you... | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:57:28 AM | | I can relate to this more than I'd like to.I have a person who is always getting in there and making a mess of things.I've had to remove any trace of her just to keep it together.It helps for me.Maybe you too?good luck | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:47:29 AM | Couldnt see your profile but you SOUND about 20.
That being said.. find a place of gratitude.
Grateful that it ended since you concluded "We werent meant for each other"
Grateful that you didnt have a kid with her tying you to her for life
Grateful that you WERE able to feel, and now KNOW what you like and dont
Grateful that you GAINED such information about yourself. Didnt lose a thing that cant be replaced
Take all the memorabilia and put it ALL away. Keep NO reminders out in your current life.
Then go around people with a sense of happy at having LIVED the experience
Oh.. before you box everything up.. Make a list of the traits/habits etc that made you KNOW you "werent meant for each other". This is also something to be grateful for. You now KNOW what you dont want in the next one.. and certainly in your eventual lifemate. Knowing what you DONT want is incredibly valuable. Write that list down and put it as the last thing in the box. THAT will be a logical UNemotional final memory to put away. | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:48:57 PM | | She will be a companion who visits your memories from time to time. When you think of her, just enjoy recalling the good times, hope she's doing well, and be glad to have her among the people you loved and can remember. Don't assign to those memories any of your current loneliness. Respect the good of it, and as for being lonely, pick out someone who is prohibitively attractive and throw yourself full force into making a foolish pass at her. | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:45:10 PM | L.E.X., I completely understand, having walked in those shoes myself.
Here's what I learned:
1) Everything you loved and enjoyed is a part of who you are. So be appreciative.
2) The things that caused your relationship to end weren't fixable or you'd have fixed them. So as you said you "weren't meant for each other." Therefore, your being apart is in truth and thus requires your total acceptance. Do you know the serenity prayer? It covers everything.
3) Dwelling on what could have been is a rathole of negative thought, so don't do it. Catch each thought like that and transform it intentionally to another thought around #1 or #2 above.
4) Make it impossible to "accidentally" look at her picture or any mementos. Take control of that possibility by removing it entirely.
You will love again. And you will bring forth all of the lessons you've learned and have a higher, wider and deeper relationship as a result. 
Meanwhile, love yourself. | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:24:19 PM | | Yeah,get yourself a new phuck buddy it helps to forget......................... | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:51:46 AM | yeah it's quite possible to just come up on one when she's in the local paper
thanks for the advice guys, maybe I'll just move | |
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| ex leftover feelings
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:27:12 AM | I know you don't have much free time but this is as important as work and school:
take the time to try to meet some new people of the opposite sex.
It's important for your mental and emotional health. People go slowly
insane if they go for years without any love to think about except one in the
distant past. | |
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