| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:09:10 AM | Hi,
I was devastated to find my fiance having text sex and cyber sex with other women.He kept it hidden from me but I recently found out.He says it means nothing and is just harmless fun.I always knew he liked looking at porn sites and he was open about that but this is a whole new aspect and I wonder how deep it goes.Advice please. | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:25:22 AM | | I think this indicates that there is trust issues in your relationship. If he didn't communicate with you what activities he engages in like cyber sex and sex texting and you found out yourself, then you really don't know how far it goes and he won't be honest about how far it goes with you about it since he kept the other stuff from you. I think that you need to be in a relationship where there is honesty and trust, not secretiveness and dishonesty as you never know where you stand. | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:06:28 AM | Cyber sex is a cry for help. It means he`s not satisfied at the home front!
I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with this man and find out why he`s sexually frustrated....He has issues with you which you refuse to acknowledge! | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:20:03 AM | I don't like secrets, especially of this nature. Being open about porn, and secretive of his cyber-sex, proves he certainly knew you wouldn't think it was harmless fun.
I think it is very revealing he would go ahead and do a "nothing" activity, knowing full well it would hurt and upset you.
Do you want to be with someone who is willing to hurt you over something they consider "nothing"? If someone was willing to do something that would hurt me, I would hope that the 'something' was really important to them.
Seems to me, people use this very same excuse to dismiss their real life affairs too "oh it was nothing, didn't mean anything, was just harmless fun" | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:24:17 AM |
He has issues with you which you refuse to acknowledge!
Huh? How do YOU know this.............??
Op,its not a good sign and im sorry you cant have a heart to heart chat with this guy.
Id be re-thinking your relationship,coz it doesnt bode well for your future..............sorry.......... | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:58:56 AM | Oh I would love to have a heart to heart talk with him but he rarely opens up unfortunately.
If he`s not talkative and doesn`t express himself, whats left to say?
How about being open and honest about yourself and the relationship you have with this man?
If he`s having cyber sex than quite frankly he`s looking for more,which you`re not giving him..
A man who`s into cyber is the worst kind there is.It shows he`s debating how fast to "make an exit towards the door"...
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:13:41 AM | Ann Landers and Dear Annie have addressed this a few times. It has nothing to do with you, but usually has to do with sex addiction and counseling is needed. If he doesn't get counseling and stop, it seems it gets worse.
Good luck! | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:02:22 AM | I resided common law for a period of time with my now ex and he was doing the same crap. I dumped him pronto. 
Your fiance is a cheater. You need to decide if you can live with him degrading you or not.
He says it means nothing? Well to him it's nothing, but to you it's hurtful. He needs to take that into consideration.
Harmless fun? Again it's hurting you and affecting your relationship negatively. It's not harmless.
A partner who shares sexual information or communication with a member of the opposite sex is a cheater.
OP, his bad behaviour is not your fault at all. It's his choice due to personal issues and problems he has within himself. He has an addiction. Cheaters NEVER change. | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:04:03 AM |
If he`s having cyber sex than quite frankly he`s looking for more,which you`re not giving him..
I'm not sure I agree with this...because a man/woman steps out of the relationship, we can automatically assume it's because of a lack of giving on the partners part? Sometimes true probabely...but still sucks rocks that we can put the blame on the spouse that has remained faithful...
On topic...It would definately "mean something" and promptly induce major trust issues...having cyber sex with a real live person is intimacy without physicality in my opinion... | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:12:35 AM | Some couples are fine with this, both parties viewing it as merely masturbation, but you're not okay with it and he is. That may be a pretty big incompatibility. IMO some premarital counseling is in order (often a good idea anyway).
I think the biggest questions - which are, IMO, is he willing to give this up if it will hurt your partnership, and, can you be willing to accept it if not - are unanswerable in this forum, and the subject is so emotionally charged, having a conversation about it without moderation may do more harm than good. | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:12:46 AM | | Wow.........mmmmmm, I think you need to seriously watch this guy. He sounds like he is a few steps away from cheating in real life. One day his longing for virtual sex may turn into real sex. Why does he need virtual anything, if he has you. Something is seriously wrong in your relationship. He has broken the circle of trust with you. Sorry, this happened to you. | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:14:44 AM | scd....ugh her fiance has issues WITHIN HIMSELF.
Cheating is always the cheater's fault!
It's pathetic how some choose to blame the innocent SO.
ahhhhhh....bs......feel free to stop lying to your self at any time.
it takes two to tango. the porn and the texting is just a reaction to the deeper issues not being resolved with in the relationship.
any one can sit back and cry wolf it's all too easy.......... step up to the plate and take accountability concerning the bad choices you make when choosing a partner that you thought was right for You. | |
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| caught my fiance having cyber sex and text sex with other women
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:18:05 AM | Ya know.. I don't really get the whole cyber sex thing so I can't really get all worked up about it. To me it's all just stupid.
However, I don't know that I would view this as "cheating" anymore than I would view masterbation as cheating. I would just think it's a weird activity. If it bothered me, I would just tell him to knock that weird sh** off. | |
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