| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:29:01 AM | | I was wondering how many people you should contact per day when you sign up to a site like this. I know on this site there are a lot of old profiles, people just looking for buddies, and people just looking around out of curiosity, so replies are few and far between. But what about paysites where people are a little more serious about meeting someone? I just started out on one that starts with "M" and have limited it to 2 per day. I wouldn't want to email like 20 people and then all of a sudden have 10 people wanting to go out with me in the next month. Well, actually that was a a little bit of wishful thinking. I've sent out 2 per day for 3 days so far and have 0 responses, so the too many dates thing is not something I seem to have to worry about. Do you think 2 per day is a good pace, just in case a couple do respond? I'm not the kind of guy that wants to go out with a bunch of people at once. I paid for 30 days and don't want to have to pay again. Maybe I should up the ante a little, or is 2 good? | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:36:39 AM | Why are you sitting there trying to work it out? It's simple, contact as many as takes your fancy, not all of them will write back. If you contact 20 and one writes back and wants a date.. hey presto! you have a date! happy fishing
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:40:45 AM | Yeah dude. What she said.
Throw out messages ONLY to those you're interested in. Doesn't matter if you do it all in one day or spread out over a month. They won't know the difference.
OO-RAH!
F. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:44:08 AM | | There is a correct number of people to contact. I know the number but I'm not telling you. Keep guessing and I'll tell you if you're getting close. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:14:12 AM | Well since two isn't working for you and you don't want to pay up again, you have your answer.
If you are working on a time constraint, send to more, not less. Personally, on some of those sites, you only see the match once and you can't search so what are you going to do if you find 3 you like one day? Eeney meaney miney moe? Or go 'oh sorry, you are against my quota today'?
Dating isn't a numbers game. A crap shoot, yes. Numbers game, no. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:16:32 AM | | I think you might be overthinking this a bit...just have fun with this, and girls will notice. There just isn't a magic number, and for that I am very sorry! | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:21:19 AM | | They won't notice anything. There's no way to tell if you're having fun or not with 'this'. Because we don't really get to see/interact with each other. I say message all that you like and some that you don't. I think i've contacted maybe 20 since i've joined....I really haven't run across any...i've got a few replies that stopped after 2-3 messages. I do better in real life to be honest. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:50:52 AM |
I was wondering how many people you should contact per day when you sign up to a site like this.
It's not about a number. It's about the result.
However many it takes to start meeting people, that's your number. For some, that's a few. For some, it's many.
You came here to meet people. If you haven't met people yet, you need to reach out more. It really is that simple.
Honestly, from your profile you seem like an awesome guy. Your pictures are great, with a wide range (love that Hulk one, bro, too cool). You're just not throwing enough lines out to catch the attention of the right gals. Fix that by stepping out more and you will surely be meeting people soon enough. I guarantee it.
If you've really got to get a "number" so you can set a quota for yourself, I'd say just start sending out TEN first contacts per day, or more. If after a week you're not getting results, double that number. What you are after is some dates, right? Make it so.
You might want to examine what you are saying in your messages, too. If you're not getting any results, something needs to change a bit, perhaps. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:04:32 AM |
I'm not the kind of guy that wants to go out with a bunch of people at once
Stop worrying about that. Very few contacts actually get beyond the first meeting. You should strive to meet as many women as possible. You shouldn't "bow out" of the process until you actually start dating someone. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:30:38 AM | Just as long as you aren't copying, and pasting the same message to over 100 girls then you should be fine.
For the record, all you have to do is read these forums, and the women will tell you how much they can't stand copy, and paste, and generic messages.
We weren't born yesterday. I guarantee you that a lot of us can spot a copy, and paste email in a heart beat. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:45:47 AM | I really don't think that the number you contact matters at all.
What's more important is who you contact. Everyone complains that no one returns their email, but we don't know which types they are writing to.
You and your profile seem interesting. You're cute, intelligent, and seem like a nice guy. Considering all that, there are still several reasons why I wouldn't date you if I were single.
So, if you would like to get more responses, it would be smart to select the girls that appear to be looking for a guy like you.
Everyone knows that attraction is important. It is. But, that causes most of the problems. The average selection process involves the person doing a local search, scanning the profiles/photos, and writing to the ones that are most attractive. The problem with that is EVERYONE does that, and the most attractive are getting all of the mail.
So, you are one of many people. That attractive person probably isn't going to contact everyone. You even mention in your profile that you don't want contact from someone dating more than one person. If they read that, they may pass you by, because they don't know you. How can they eliminate all the other potentials in favor of you, just based on a profile? (especially considering not everyone is honest in their profile)
To improve your odds, you could email others similiar to yourself. They may be more inclined to write to you.
** You have children, at least 2 from your profile
** Army
** Have risky thrill-seeking hobbies.
** Does not want children.
** Photo without shirt ( not the hulk photo, the other one)
You have children. Some singles without children skip by those that already have them. *** increase your chance by writing single Moms
You are in the Army or were - try to find girls that are also, or that state they like that.
You risk your life as a hobby. Tough one there, especially considering you are a father. Look for girls that also do thrill -seeking.
Does not want children: I'm sure this varies from person to person on how serious they are about this. A lot of single girls may be undecided. But, some girls may pass you by for this. Check this section to see if they "do not want children" - and look at the profile to see if they say that previous kids are OK
Photos: You are cute, and we can see that you're in shape with clothes on. No shirt sends a bad message, not to mention it's not allowed on POF. The hulk costume is cool, but the other photo isn't.
If you look for girls that accept/fit into these issues of yours, you would probably have a ton of responses. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:55:25 PM | You'll probably be upset if you think you are going to meet someone and get a relationship going off this site in 30 days. I doubt many people manage that, but maybe you will. You'll probably be lucky if you get a few dates in that time. I'd just send contacts to whoever interests you. One guy suggested 10 per day which I find a lot. You'd probably exhaust your choices pretty quick that way. Focus on quality and making sure you like what you see in the couple pictures and short profiles everyone has up. You'll also learn who thinks you are appealing based on replies and you can focus on them, if you just want results.
Make sure to send unique first contact messages with catchy titles, I can't stress that enough. Try to find something in their pictures or profiles which gives you an in to write an unique message which you can hopefully tie in to yourself or ask questions about. Try to be playful!
16madison has great advice listen to her! | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:11:49 PM | Paying sites and free sites are no different in terms of what people are seeking. I've been on both.
Contact as many women as you wish, and take it from there. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:19:56 PM | Some people are more successful than others, so I don't think there is a universal number.
Increase your number of contacts per day steadily until you hit the number of actual dates per week that you desire. (Note that may be a very large number of first contacts, larger than the number of users from your area on this site)
pay-for sites are not any better. My friends are on those, one got zero dates in one year, the other got 4 dates in a year, all very odd. A lot of people can shell out whatever $40-$100 that the website asks without any problem whatsoever, especially in the area where I live. It doesn't mean that they are more serious about dating. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:01:54 PM | | After sending out hundreds of messages, I discovered that sending emails to girls that are online significantly increases your chance of getting a reply. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:15:07 PM | Dating isn't a numbers game. A crap shoot, yes. Numbers game, no.
Huh? Of course it's a numbers game. It's not merely a numbers game, but the more people you date or contact or cold-call the better the odds you have of making a match. That's what a numbers game is by definition. | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:20:24 PM | 6.7328. No more no less!
Quit worrying about how many you contact. Start worrying about how many positive replies your getting.
Cowboy | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:32:48 PM | I'd recommend that you keep increasing the number of contacts until you start getting the number of responses that you want. I would also mention, based on my experience, that just because you are emailing, it doesn't mean it will ever lead to a date. There are a lot of people willing to exchange a few emails, then disappear. Based on what I read from the men, women are even more likely to do this.
An earlier poster said to contact women who are currently online in order to increase your chances. I think that's good advice.
Another poster says that you are more likely to get responses from single moms. She is probably right in terms of the odds, but I'd say go ahead and contact anyone who appeals to you. You just never know.
I'm surprised you aren't getting many responses. You're a good-looking guy and you obviously are hard-working and have plans for your life. That's appealing to a lot of women.
Also, thank you for your military service. I really appreciate it. Lots of us do.
Best of luck. Happy Fishing! | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:31:23 PM | | I think if there is someone you are interested in, you should just contact them regardless of whether it is your 1st or 5th email for the day. No rules. Just don't bother sending email to anyone you are not that interested in meeting I guess. jmo | |
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| How many people to contact
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:51:19 AM | | It is unfortunately a numbers game. You have a product to market. That is you. Want to test out this theory ? write a fairly generic response and cut & paste it to 50 people who kind of interest you. See what happens. On a free site like this so many people are just fishing. Some are married, some have boyfriends, some are hoping for a dream to show up. So the numbers keep getting smaller . Try it and see what happens. That's the thing with the pay sites , the people are more inclined to to respond because they are paying. | |
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