| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:08:37 AM | My sister had a bday party for her two kids at the pool, quite a lrg pool. We had a room for cake and presents that we stayed in. The party invite said 6pm to 8pm. So around 8 pm we told the kids to get dressed. One of the little girls didnt come back to the room so I went and looked for her couldnt find her. We were getting a little worried we found my neice and asked her if she knew where she was, and she said the mom took her home from the change room.
I think that is so rude, not to even come to the room and let the parent know, dont say hi thank you for the party. What do you think? I would never just pick my kid up and not tell the person responsible that I was taking her. That was not the only parent that did this another parent also took the kids from the pool without letting us know. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:25:16 AM | I have always thanked the parent and made sure that my child thanked the child and the parent for having them. But etiquette is not what it used to be.
What would bother me is that someone would take a child from that environment without letting you know that the child was leaving because you could have a heart attack as you probably did, that with the pool something horrible had happened regardless of how vigilant people were. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:41:49 AM | | I always thank the other parents. At any party involving a Pool it was both foolish for the parents not to inform people they were leaving and inexcusable for any adults in charge not to know where EVERY child was at all time. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:48:42 AM | | it's rude but at least they didn't show up drinking beer. I had that happen at my daughters party at the park at least half a dozen showed up drinking and said "well it's a party isn't it?". yea, party for a 4 yr old. people are just rude anymore, nobody seems to teach ediquette any more. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:43:35 AM |
I always thank the other parents. At any party involving a Pool it was both foolish for the parents not to inform people they were leaving and inexcusable for any adults in charge not to know where EVERY child was at all time.
I agree with this statement. It's kinda of scary an adult could come and whisk a kid away without another adult knowing about it.
At first thought, I would have said something to the parent of the child that would come and take her child away without letting the adults in charge know she was taking her child, but then again, the fact she could take her child away without and adult knowing would cause a greater concern. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:03:56 PM | | It may have been rude, or there may have been a reason. I know that I have been engaged in talking to people and someone didn't say something to me because they didn't wish to interrupt. They were in a hurry and couldn't wait. Had a sick child in the car/at home etc. Perhaps next time you have a party, make the parents aware of a sign out sheet. I used to use a sign in and sign out sheet just in case. (I was the President of a youth football team with 200 some players and cheerleaders.) | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:15:00 PM | I think that was irresponsible on the part of the parent.
Although, im also thinking it may have been irresponsible on your part as well. Though that depends on the age of the children at the party. I dont think the kids should have been left alone in a public change room.
Personally I would have called the parent immediately to check if she really did pick up her child. No answer, id call the cops. You cant be too careful. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:20:09 PM | Next time.. send out printed RULES for anyone who attends your gatherings..
It's that simple.
Where is our common sense.. You dont need to post it on this forum for attentiontrolling.
You learned that people are inconsiderate and stupid..
Lesson learned | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:53:06 PM | I was not attention trolling this is a parenting forum discussing parenting. I was looking for a discussion. But you are right I learned people are inconsiderate and stupid..... who need to name call like 12 yr olds.
They were 10 and 11 yr olds who were all over the pool, so no we did not know where everyone was at all times. Honestly I was shocked that a parent would not think to tell the party givers that they were taking the child. Next time I would def ask the parents to do that. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:14:10 PM | Look.. If kids are put into YOUR care.. then it's YOUR RULES. YOU tell the kids.. YOU tell the parents.. or no party.. It's really that simple.
Glad/sorry you were shocked. now you know about the peers you have as parents of your childs friends. Deal accordingly. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:25:17 AM | | ^^^Don't be ridiculous. Most people would assume a parent would have more commonsense. I hardly think it's necessary to print rules on a birthday party invitation. OP, I would have panicked if I couldn't account for a child at a public pool. Aside from an emergency situation, as aaam described, that behaviour was very rude and inconsiderate. Of course the child is always brought to the host to thank before leaving. Saying "thanks for having me" would take all of two minutes... | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:20:33 AM | I've attended many many birthday parties and also just been a parent to drop off her kids.
I ALWAYS let them know when we have arrived and ALWAYS let them know when I arrive to take them home. I also make sure, if there is a pool at the party, to ask the host if there is a fence around it. If not, then I stay at the party...
It's not only common courtesy, but it's a common sense and safety issue as well. That parent who took their child unnanounced from the party, with a pool present, was both inconsiderate and didn't take into account that the host might panic for a minute wondering where a child is!
If I had a pool and was going to host a party for kids, I'd mention this to all parents as a safety measure. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:40:49 AM | | Sorry but when my kids were small and we had parties I was forever counting heads and reining in wandering kids and making sure everyone was accounted for. If someone walked out with a kid in your charge, then yes that was rude of them to not say something to you, but safety issues are a bigger deal than etiquette issues and you allowed a child to disappear. I'm glad the child walked off with its own parent and not someone else. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:57:49 AM | Yes it was rude of the parent just to take the child and leave without saying a word to anyone else.
But it was also rude in my opionion to not have the children supervised well at the pool and well in the change room. Maybe the mother was pissed off that the adults were in the room rather then watching the kids. Yes I know they are 10-12 years old but they should still be supervised. Anything could happen. I know if my daughter went to a party and I walked in and the kids were not being supervised at the pool or in the change room not only would I stop at the room to give the ADULT in charge a peice of my mind but it would be the last party my child went to for that child. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:28:16 AM | I agree with most of what's been said.
Yes, it was probably rude for the parent to pick up the girl without coming to talk to one of the people responsible for the parties. BUT- that parent may have tried to but couldn't find you and didn't have time to wait. Perhaps the parent will thank you later? BUT- that parent could have told the birthday girl thanks and asked her to tell you thanks. Perhaps the birthday girl forgot to tell you. BUT- that parent could have thought it was WRONG of YOU to not know where HER child was all the time... and if she had the time to take her, someone else could have. Perhaps she thought you deserved? to worry a little... considering she did when she found out her child wasn't being supervised.
I don't think it's anything to get upset about. If nothing else... the parent was just rude. People are that way- nothing you can really do about it. If you make (what should be obvious) rules known... then people are STILL going to be that way. If they're rude they probably aren't going to take note of "rules" another parent gives.
I think it can be a lesson for you, though. And that is even 11-12 year old girls should be constantly supervised at a party like that. Maybe YOU don't think so... but I'm certain some other parents of the girls DO. Have someone in the changing room and at the pool. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:22:51 PM | | Listen I understand what you are all saying perhaps we will not do a pool party because it would be impossible unless I made them all hold hands and walk together to know where everyone was at all times in the pool. A couple girls wanted to go on the slides, a couple went to the hot tub, there were ten kids. Do you honestly all stay with your ten yrs old + the whole time you go to a pool or water slides. My parents dropped us off when we were that age. | |
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| Bday party ediquette
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:31:31 PM | Its not at the pool I would be concerned about. People would notice a kid being dragged out kicking and screaming, its the change room. Thats where there is a more likely opportunity for something bad to happen. Until highschool you have to raise your had and ask to go to the bathroom so the teacher knows where you are at all times, I think the same should apply at get togethers outside a private home.
My parents dropped us off when we were that age.
No offense meant by this, but that was almost 30 years ago. Lots of things were done 30 years ago that you just can't do now, hell theres things I did 10 years ago I would never do now or allow my daughter to do when she gets older. | |
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