| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:56:55 AM | Okay, here's the situation. I met this guy on here a little less than a year ago. We've been dating, but dont see each other often. He has two jobs, and I have three. ( I know! ha ha) Anyways, I have aquired some deep feelings for this guy. I have asked him "Are you mine?", "I dont want to share you" his response was "You wont have to". We have the most INCREDIBLE sex. He texts me the next morning telling me how "He's still on a high from last night with u" etc. He removed his profile, and so did I. A couple of months ago, I saw he put his profile back up! I was heartbroken. Why would he need to be on a dating site looking for "friends"??? with a little help from a friend sending him a message on here, I've learned he is DEFINITELY looking. Telling people he is SINGLE, looking for a relationship, but looking to start out as friends first. See if there is any chemistry and making dates! BOO!
Obviously I am not enough woman for him. That's fine. How foolish am I? Gawd! Well I'm definitely calling it quits. He definitely misled me. He sweet talked me, told me everything I wanted to hear, and I believed everything. Ugh! Foolish. Anyways I'm over the hurt now. Now I'm just pissed and want to confront him. I don't even want him back. I just want REVENGE. What's the BEST way I can hurt this guy, as much he has hurt me. I'm ready to move on.... but just want to give him a "SLAP IN THE FACE" (not literally) on his way out!
It's immature, I know. But I want him to HURT.  | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:59:08 AM | | 3 jobs, eh? How are you supposed to be in a relationship anyway if there's no time for one..? | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:00:55 AM | | no no. i make time. I run three companies from home. If anything HIS schedule was more booked up than mine. I ALWAYS made time for him. Even working AROUND HIS schedule! | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:01:33 AM | | Sounds like you were dating for a few months, though not often, and having the most INCREDIBLE sex. Why wouldn't you discuss this with him? | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:01:57 AM | You'll feel a lot better in the long run if you don't indulge in this.
But if you look incredibly hot when you dump him, it'll smart. And that's nothing you ever need to regret and feel bad about. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:06:13 AM |
It's immature, I know. But I want him to HURT.
Yes you're right - stop being so childish!
Sounds like he got his "long term" booty call and that's it.
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:07:31 AM | | yes. We met in January of this year. sigh... it seemed so perfect, as i have dated ALOT of men. He was the only one that I thought was the complete package. Ugh! I plan on seeing him tonite. I think I should just tell him, I want to see other people, and move on. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:09:58 AM |
Yes you're right - stop being so childish!
Sounds like he got his "long term" booty call and that's it.
I know. You're right. I'm just pissed. This just ain't supposed to happen to ME! ha ha | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:13:54 AM | | Cheating is so commonplace. I'm amazed anyone actually gets genuinely upset about it anymore. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:18:51 AM | | Well you could tell us who he is so we don't get lumbered (joking)...dating in this day and age is very difficult its so easy to get on the internet and bullshit your way into as many encounters as you can handle, people get addicted to it and you're at the mercy of them being honest with you......Caveat emptor - let the buyer beware!!! You're young and pretty its his loss, what is he....a liar....some catch eh! | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:20:21 AM |
yes. We met in January of this year. sigh... it seemed so perfect, as i have dated ALOT of men. He was the only one that I thought was the complete package. Ugh! I plan on seeing him tonite. I think I should just tell him, I want to see other people, and move on.
Just tell him that you know that he's on here looking for friends and maybe more. Tell him that's ok because you're going to see others, as well and that you're calling it quits. Oh, and by the way I like the idea of dressing up and looking incredibly hot. Revenge is childish, but handling it in a mature manner will hurt more than any childish prank ever could. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:28:14 AM | I don't know why you react like this.
Ok, you are hurt, I would be hurt in your situation.
You are telling us you are a director for three companies and work from home. If that is true, I would imagine you being mature, intelligent and experienced in life.
Therefore, I would imagine you to be able to read people a lot better than you did. Still, if you were blinded by love and all that comes with it, you have to ask yourself whether revenge is going to make you feel better.
In my blessed country, we say that "there is no bigger rejection than not showing any appreciation". Ignore the guy, don't see him tonight, don't call/text/email him anymore. Period.
It's painful, your heart is broken, and it will take you time to get over it, and that is if you choose to deal with it rather than bury it under the carpet until it festers. But you have to come back to yourself, friends, family, people who love you, and leave the guy to live his life.
Trust me, you are not going to feel better for seeking revenge. Just don't lower yourself to the lower common denominator in all this, which is somebody who lies, cheats and acts the part when necessary. From that point of view, he has a lot in common with most criminals. Let go and let God deal with him.
All the best. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:28:55 AM |
I know. You're right. I'm just pissed. This just ain't supposed to happen to ME! ha ha
Listen it happens to everyone at one time or another! Well most people anyway.
If I was you I wouldn't bother doing the face to face thing. If you GENUINELY want to finish with him and make him feel small - do it by TEXT.
Tell him to go fvck himself as well, if it makes you feel better. And when he comes crawling back to you (which he probably will), resist the temptation to start seeing him again - and then tell him to go fvck himself again!
You're only 34, you'll be fine.
All the best.
PS; Sorry about the "booty call" remark - I didn't mean it in a rude fashion. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:24:22 AM | Living your life to the fullest, and quietly just releasing him from your life would be the best revenge.
Do not involve yourself in the drama or games... lead a busy fulfilling life without the crud. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:01:16 PM |
Sounds like you were dating for a few months, though not often, and having the most INCREDIBLE sex. Why wouldn't you discuss this with him? I gotta agree; instead of ranting and raving about this on a public forum, why not have a mature discussion about this with this young man? That's what I'd do if I were in your shoes.
I think I should just tell him, I want to see other people, and move on. If you do this, you weren't serious about him in the first place (except about having mind blowing sex).
quietly just releasing him from your life would be the best revenge. This advice would work for you if you are generally an immature petty person. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:09:07 PM | | S ame thing happened to me recently,was dateing a guy from POF for several months,we both deleted our profiles about a month into it(he deleted his first),he was spending 3-4 nights a week at my house,telling me that he loved me and even talked about who's house we should have Thanksgiving at,then I discovered that he had rejoined POF under a different user name a few weeks ago,saying he's looking for a long term relationship,and goes into great detail in his profile on what he's looking for in a woman and when he's available to date,and I noticed that he sent someone a rose,mean while I thought everything was great and had no clue.Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone,the best revenge is to live your life and be happy,guys like this aren't worth it, not when there are so many great ones out there and you'll find one. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:25:30 PM | Whats your question?
He is obviously willing to date
To ME dating someone else = cheating | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:33:25 PM | | Well...that would be a wise move...be a crybaby...and throw a tantrum in front of him...cry why didnt you pick me !....and i am sure you can think of a few more things to humiliate yourself with... Ohhh..dont forget the slap in the face...I guess i can see why some guys treat women the way they do... | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:37:03 PM | | i cant say for sure if hes a cheater. i can say his answer to your question, "are you mine" ? was vague and i would have picked up on it. its seems as though the experience was positive overall for both of you, but not enough to make him comitt. somewhere along the line he realized that "you are not the one". a good thing, really, if you are not the one. the sooner the better! imo. .. im not sure why you didnt confront him a couple of months ago when you saw his profile was up or even why you put your profile back up. the profiles always seem to be an issue in relationships that start on-line. revenge fantasies , while common only delay your own healing process. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:57:41 PM | Yet again someone gets cheated on, and the faithful one gets slated.
" why didnt you confront him months ago when you saw his profile back up" ( And what would the point be in that? is he gonna say oopsy ok ill take it down, it was an accident?)
"why dont you have a mature conversation with him and discuss it without having to cry on a forum? (ermm... isnt this what forums are for? oh no sorry its for people to be smart arses and big up the perpretrator for treating people like crap the way they deserve to be treated for being so trusting)
The only good advice i saw for the op was to quietly let him go and get on with her life. And then some smart alec has the gall to say this is immature! Excuse me??? The poor girl cant win!!
Pathetic advice, most of you all happy and ready to kick a girl when shes down. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:19:49 PM | If you are certain that you are DONE and ready to move on....
The best revenge would be to NOT engage in any type of communication with him...just walk away and it will DRIVE HIM CRAZY!
That would be not only a huge SLAP IN THE FACE...BUT A HUGE HUGE BLOW to his EGO!
Trust me...It works every single time!
Good Luck! | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:39:22 PM | | is he a cheater??? hmmm, question of the ages...you have already said you don't see each other that often and that you basicly get together for the sex. so no, he's not cheating..but you villify him because he's not living up to what YOU want..the "are you mine" comment does not mean you are an item. If you don't want to see him anymore then just say it..and go about your way. from what you've said, I don't think he's gonna be that upset, so why should you? oh! I get it, he's not doing what YOU want so he's the bad guy. Heck, if the sex is that great, then just have sex and enjoy while you can. it could be worse... | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:43:04 PM | | Thank you everyone for your comments. The positive AND the negative. | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:48:35 PM |
...you have already said you don't see each other that often and that you basicly get together for the sex.
I'm sorry but I NEVER said that. Please re-read. We have been on many "sexless" dates, and he would still hold me, deeply look right into my eyes, and tell me how beautiful, and special I was and how much he'd missed me.
Anyways, I'm seeing him for the last time tonight (he's prepaid our tickets for an event. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO MISS THE EVENT! ha ha....) I'll be sure to look extra hot when I dump him.
Thanks again all | |
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| Is he a cheater?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:17:30 PM | not very shy 88
now you can see why internet dating sucks. If you actually sleep with the guy you just get slated if he messes you around. You cant win on here. Its full of jerks | |
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