| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:11:06 AM | | I was on match.com, dateline and a few others, with no real luck for a couple of years. I finished with them, as a way of economising, and was settled on just trying to be happy as a single man, making friends with myself, and trying to live contentedly without a partner. A friend of mine recomended this site as it is free (hes very goodlooking and tall/muscular:think he uses it fot 1 night stands to be honest), so I joined up. Ive been here for a couple of days and am getting worried, Ive got very low ratings for my photos(hes said ignore this, but its easier said than done) and this has dented my confidence. I havnt sent out any msgs yet (still tweaking profile) but I notice, compared to him, few people have viewed my profile, considering the numbers on here. Question is are these sites bad for me? Would I be better leaving the whole business. In the past Ive had a few incidents were a felt I had made a connection only to be messed about. I probably take things to much to heart, and on line dating may be a bad move for me. I get a strong feeling that many women 'dating' on line arent actually interested in dating, they are playing some other game, more to do with attention seeking, and boredom relieving, rather than seeking a partner. I suspect a lot of the single/separated women arent that at all. Am I being cynical? Is POF different, or should I get out before I get any heartache? Please help! | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:21:09 AM | | To be honest unless you stand out you will get little or no messages , i have had hardly any i dont think it really matters much what you write in your profile either. Pubs and clubs other places are more effective if your just an average bloke. I have actually messaged women on here who i dont find attractive in the slightest (to gauge response)and recieved very little interest. You might end up an exception and find someone , just dont take it too seriously come on here when your bored or dont have anything better to do. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:25:36 AM | ........................................................................................................................
.......................ermm.......................................................................................
......dum diddley dum......ermm...Just time wasting , get used to it 
If you dont take rejection well, then a dating site is not for you, unread/deleted, read no reply, read deleted its 99'9% of our time will be sending messages that are not responded too.
My theroy is that dating site uers tend to have a preconcived idea of exactly what they want, and if you dont meet the exact critirea you wont even get a "thanks but your not my tpe", its like window shopping for the love of your life, there is always some else too look at.
Im not saying people should lower their ideals, expectations but its an uphill struggle I should imagine for both sexes but I guess the ladies have plenty off choice, although from what I gather not the quality.
My advice stick with it, but dont have it as your only hope, its eassier to widen your social circle and get your face out in the real world not cyber world.
Failling that get sh1tfaced then go pull a troll muncher | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:27:08 AM | I think the answer to ever question you have asked in your post is...Yes.
Question is are these sites bad for me? ...Yes
Would I be better leaving the whole business...Yes
I probably take things to much to heart...yes
on line dating may be a bad move for me...yes
I get a strong feeling that many women 'dating' on line arent actually interested in dating...yes
they are playing some other game...yes
more to do with attention seeking...yes
boredom relieving...yes
I suspect a lot of the single/separated women arent that at all...yes
Am I being cynical?...yes
Is POF different...yes
should I get out before I get any heartache?...yes
Please help!...no :) | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:28:28 AM | Failling that get sh1tfaced then go pull a troll muncher
you have a point there and theres plenty off them. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:30:00 AM | Oh dear, another one, but I'll be a good girl till it is deleted...
Reading your post and your profile I would indeed say you do not have the right attitude/disposition or whatever you would like to call it for online dating. As with most things in life, it is a gamble. You win some, you lose some. You're bound to meet someone who is just after your wallet/you paying for everything/just a bit of fun, despite having a profile gushing how they are looking for Mr Right.
You have been here a couple of days? Give it time! There are far more men than women on here, and most women in your age range will already get plenty of messages without having to seek you out. So start by sending some messages. An original one, not just 'Hi'.
I've been messed about but have also met some great people!
As for rating your picture - the low scores are probably from other men on here who find you a threat! A male friend of mine had that a lot, the women scored him rather high, but the men would give him low scores so his average was quite low too.
You do not want any heartache? May I suggest you lock yourself in then and not bother, because that's the only way you'll escape it. | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 7 | |
| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:30:07 AM | Its been said a million times before but you are gonna be disappointed if you think you will find your soul mate on here. If you are lucky you may come across someone to share a few dates with but more than that, well I think its unlikely. Thats my experience now though in the beginning I was hopeful of more. Just do like we do and stick around for the forum and for fecks sake dont let people rate your pix. Who cares what a bunch of judgmental strangers think of you?  | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:32:16 AM |
you are gonna be disappointed if you think you will find your soul mate on here
Oooo I dunno bout that! I think its a typo ... its possible you might find your sole mate on here .... | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:57:12 AM | I must say that being on POF has not enhanced my life any. It has certainly made me think less of myself and less of the male species too. It makes me consider my future every single day which isnt such a great thing to be thinking about in great detail as its so depressing. Considering I have been a member for the best part of 3 yrs, would I recomend POF to my friends? I think the answer would be.....if you have a thick skin, you dont really care what anyone else thinks, you are very very confident and you are just as happy alone as with somone then go for it but do not expect miracles. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:57:16 AM | My PoF story is nearly 4yrs, I have my search setting set to "show me only users Ive not contacted" within a 25mile radius, which includes 3 different counties, even at peak PoF times I my search results have about 15-20 online potential contacts. Which means that I have pretty much exehausted the vast majority of East Midlands female PoF population.
I ve had two dates one was an old friend who Iam still in touch with but its as friends, no spark when we met again years later, the other was a women who when we first got jiggy pissed on me  , according to her this was noermal during sex, BYE!
Know I think Im a decent looking bloke, well rounded, potentially witty smart and entertaining, kind considerate, caring, passionate but the camera is no friend of mine. On the flip side I have certainly had more positive experiences out in the real world over the same period of time. Why still single? Im a fussy bugger and have high standards and wont settle for less than that, just like all the woman you contact do.
Man Up and take it on the chim at least your getting ignored for free now rather than paying, swings and roundabouts | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:16:10 AM | I think in here both men and women are setting their standards too high  and of course get disappointed because they cannot reach these ideals..
I wouldn't take it too personally, it is just a website | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:18:34 AM | Having just joined this wobshite (opps typing error) I've had thousands.... well ok hundreds.... er dozens...damn it several people view my profile but just a few messages!
They obviously think I'm a complete loon and they wouldn't be far from the truth! | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:28:15 AM | I joined this site with the expectation of a naive 16 year old. Couldnt wait to log in and see who had viewed me, to see if I had messages from any gorgeous men. How things have changed. I dont take much notice of those that view me because it doesnt mean they fancy me, theyre probably just passing the time. I get a few messages but I never seem to have the inclination to reply these days. I just post on the forums.
You have as much chance as the next man OP. You may meet someone nice. Try sending a few messages but dont be too disappointed if you dont get replies. Its just not that easy. | |
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bname
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Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:29:46 AM | OP
POF is simply an adult version of a children s fantasy date game.
Focus on looks (including fitness,height) and status(money,connection,lifestyle,etc) in your profile. Push it to the max. (shouldn't embellish too much)
You can sprinkle in some personality if you like ... but it is not necessary and usually doesn't help. It matters, but not until much later.
POF is what it is. No it isn't worth your time. But you can find a way, to make it worth your time, if you want.
DO NOT use POF for real going somewhere relationships ... it can happen ... but the odds are too low to take seriously. Just think of POF as a really crappy social network site ... forget about the dating side ... just talk to women of interest ... dating may happen from that.
Your friend provides the fantasy ... that's why it works well for him. Yes, he is most likely just using POF for 1 night stands. That's a little nuts in my view ... but to each their own.
Set your expectations correctly and whatever happens doesn't really matter.
If your sending messages ... have fun with it ... your just talking, not dating.
If you want at least some level of success. You will need better quality pictures and a half decent profile. Currently your pictures seem to lack effort so your pushing a womens self esteem factor too much. That won't work.
In terms of how online dating affects you ... you will start having MORE success as soon as you stop caring. Women need to know you are a man with other options, or they simply won't be interested.
To have a reasonable amount of success on POF you will need to be 7/10 in looks with a 6 figure income or 8/10 in looks and somewhere above partial lobotomy. Shoot for one of those ... choose wisely ... :-)
It's not that bad ... be it can be challenging. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:52:01 AM | You have to have a tough skin if you're internet dating.
I can guarantee that you will be messed around - intentionally and unintentionally.
Please try not to take things too personally. Yes, ppl will comment on your photos, but if you don't want them to comment, you can deselect that option.
I'm sure some men & women here are just in it for an ego-boost, and have no intention of taking things further. Some say they are looking for friends, dating, serious r/ships, but are happy to message all the time, or just meet up for sex (even though they say they're not).
If you're sensible, take each message with a pinch of salt, and don't rush into anything, it's easy to weed out those that aren't genuine.
One thing you shouldn't do is to rely on this site (or any other dating site) as your only means of meeting someone. Remember, you had a social life/r'ship before PoF, and I'm sure you'll have one after too. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:24:05 PM | yep for god sake you have been here a few days. take the bag of rubbish off the back of your door , put your loo seat down and try again yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:26:02 PM | Oh for the luxury of time to waste....
But who is to say there isn't someone out there in the ether (t'internet) who would be more interesting than my current hobbies of tandem parachuting, quantum shopping, and corset making?
However I do insist on:
1 packing my own parachute
2 retail therapy in the Nth degree
3 I look better than an applicant in any corset I make
Applicants only able to live with these 3 points need apply.
(BYO aircraft, Jimmi Choo Credit Card, and whale bones.) | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:32:22 PM | i did notice the asda bag which is off putting
the toilet seat isn't very good background material
and the dado rail and yellow wall gave me the impression it was fashionable 10 years ago and add it to the hat and it spells out revamp needed | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:37:36 PM | well, what a bunch of negative so and sos we are today. I do think perhaps that the people who've had success aren't online any more so bear that in mind too.
I've had lots of dates, made some lovely friends and met some terrific people. I'm dating someone now I met through another site . It's as much of lottery as real life is and it's a good way to while away some time too, don't get negative, see this as a way to meet people and enjoy it. Good luck
H
x | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:38:52 PM | Unless you've got very thick skin the only way to cope with PoF is to treat it all with a pinch of salt and have a laugh at everything that happens. Remember that until you've actually met and got to know someone we're all just bits of text on a screen and don't take anything to heart.
When you've read all the replies you'll realise that the response you are getting is pretty much the norm for most of us.
My advice would be to get involved in any of the meets that you can, and meet people in person rather than worrying about emails. You'll meet some nice people, hopefully make some new friends, have a laugh and may even meet someone special. People who may not respond to your emails will probably be quite happy to chat at a meet. Plus - there's less chance of wasting your time in long drawn out email sessions with people who may turn out to be married/don't look like their pics/ are 10 years older than they said they were/ just want to sit behind a screen and don't actually want to meet. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:39:51 PM | OP i hate to be harsh BUT if your sucha fragile flower get the Hell outa dodge!
You need a thick skin to be on POF both for dating and the forums, if you dont like your picture being rated, change it so you cant be rated dont whinge about the rating you receive.
If you dont wanna be messed about dont date cos on POF, as in life, situations dont come with a guarantee.
My advice would be to stay but take it with a pinch of salt if you meet someone then thats great, but us it as another avenue to explore rather than putting all your eggs in one basket. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:44:52 PM | You know tommy cooper died right?
Anyway try not let things get you down on this site. Just be yourself. If they don't give you the time of day, they aint a match so you've just saved yourself 10 years of unhappy marriage, yay! | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:45:24 PM | | whooooooo i love the girls in here xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx we all think a like . grow tuff skin boys us girls had to the day we joined POF | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:07:21 PM | | i think most people on here would agree they have had more success in dating that wasnt initiated sat behind a computer, most of my ex and one nighters come to think of it came about when i wasnt actively looking for someone. Dont try too hard its very much a numbers game usually you end up finding someone youve clicked with when your not even trying , even if your not so aware of it at the time. | |
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| Time wasting?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:15:17 PM | Dont know what the problem is, ive been here 4 days and already had 5 dates and 8 sexual encounters.
If you arent having much luck on the dating front have you thought about asking your cousins to move to norfolk... ? | |
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