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 Captain Carolyn
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 1
In Love after two weeks?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I have friend who met a guy at a singles event a few weeks back. They were dancing and felt the sparks fly so she invites him home. He is from out of state in town on business for a few weeks. After dropping off his friend at his hotel they go to her place only to have him say he can't stay because he has to get up and work very early in the morning. He says he will return the following evening. He calls the next day and explains that he job started early and he has to work that night so he can't come by. He goes on to tell her how much he really liked her and hoped this opportunity to get to know her doesn't pass him by. He seems very sweet and sincere. Well, almost a week passes but he calls and text's her everyday, telling her how beautiful and sexy she is (and she really is). He is working 12 hour days - graveyard shift . She finally meets him at his hotel one morning. Now another week passes while he is still working 12 hour shifts. He still calls everyday and reveals several things....he is a recovering meth addict, 5 years clean, he is a devote catholic, and he is falling in love with her. Mean while her trusty friend, me, does a background check and finds out he did have a couple of drug related arrests, dating about 5 + years back. Do guys actually fall in love like this? He has only now seen her 4 times, and not for long.
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 2
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:17:35 PM
It's not love, it's infatuation. They don't even know each other.
 Violator_Girl
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 3
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:23:53 PM
^^ Good point.

Maybe he has an addictive personality (his past would certainly point to that) and the feelings of lust and excitement of the new relationship are floating his boat.

I'd be cautious of ANYONE who claimed they were falling in love this soon, regardless of his/her past.
 handsoflove
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 4
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:35:34 PM
He's falling in love. Wouldn't it be strange if it turned out people can fall in love and it's a good thing? I wonder if anyone would recognize it for all the doubts and cynicism that pass for dating wisdom.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 5
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:38:32 PM
How can he possibly be in love after 2 weeks and only four meetings...geez louise, he doesn't even know what kind of toothpaste she uses after two weeks, let alone who she really is or anything below the surface!

I tend to find, OP, that usually the ones who are in a really big rush like this? Have a reason for it...usually it's to get the other person to commit to something, before their true personas come out. I'd be wary, if I were your friend.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 6
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:39:25 PM
How do you define love? A tingly feeling between your legs that makes you all a-flutter? Or do you think it's more meaningful than that?
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 7
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:50:09 PM
Every great and lousy love affair has started with infatuation. It's an extraordinarily powerful emotion - Hell, it's kept the human race going for millions of years.

And this is guy is getting caught up in it. I know damn well I'm not the only one here to say, "I love you," when in the throes of it. Cut him some slack. He may be a keeper, or he may be one to throw back. But he shouldn't be rejected because of this.
 Thaddal
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 8
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:51:17 PM
More than likely he fell in love with the fact that your friend is real easy to get into bed...and..wants to make sure..evertime he is in town he has a guarenteed lay....

You as a friend need to remove her blinders....
 Violator_Girl
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 9
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:56:28 PM
Halftimedad is right. There's no reason he should be rejected. But whats the rush?.

If someone said they loved me after 2 weeks/4 meetings, I'd be freaked out. Maybe he just wanted to say he was really into her and the L word slipped out, who knows.

But from my friends, not me personally experiences, people who declared love early on almost always turned out to be mentalists!!! or 'fell in love'' with someone else soon into the relationship.

Yes, if your friend likes the guy she should give him a chance, but I'd take the 'love declaration' with a pinch of salt for now.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 10
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:08:39 PM
There's a big difference in the statements "I'm in love with you" and "after two weeks of knowing you, I feel as if I'm falling in love with you". That's the way I take this guy's statement. What's the big deal here? We all fall in love at different rates.
 Captain Carolyn
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 11
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:33:05 PM
Good point. It's not as if he has done anything weird. He has been nothing but be nice and attentive.
 Captain Carolyn
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 12
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:35:38 PM
Doesn't seem likely. He is making plans to stay much longer.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 13
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:36:29 PM

He has been nothing but be nice and attentive.
Ummm yeah, as opposed to mean and dismissive? Like that would work?
I see too many red flags to make little romantic excuses for this kind of weirdness.
 Captain Carolyn
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 14
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:36:52 PM
Thanks....she is most definately wary...but if its the real thing....he is an incredibly nice guy...one you don't want to just throw back.
 Captain Carolyn
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 15
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:38:26 PM
She told him he was moving too fast for her and he backed off from the "I'm falling in love" stuff.
 Captain Carolyn
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 16
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:40:04 PM
Like the fact that they have almost nothing in common except a love of science?
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 17
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:43:09 PM
captain, you know in this crazy crazy world 2 young and tender love birds can connect and fall in love in 2 weeks, get married and have 3 kids and white picket fence and about 5 -10 yrs get a divorce because someone cheated or had "differences" , lol, just being a jerkoff, I'm no Mrs. Cleo but I'm going out on a limb and say no way jose, but only in my world, the next man's world is totally different from mine.
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 18
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:18:38 PM
You need to run not walk away. He is rushing you for a reason. Working 12 hour days and living in hotel...ok...yeah right...no one else in the picture...yeah right.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 19
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:48:17 PM
It's not lust or infatuation. Nature has this way of tricking us into copulation so as to pass along our genetic information. Nature could care less, how it turns out after that has been accomplished! But damn, does it ever feel good! I have a suspician that he doesn't feel the same way! You say she's beautiful? Certain things about the guys story just doesn't ring true.
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 20
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:09:47 PM
Why would someone from out of state attend a singles event in another state when they are only planning to be there for a few weeks?

Food for thought.
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 21
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:53:14 PM
My head is spinning from read all this. Seriously, her mistake was taking the guy home the first time she met him. It may be time to slow things down a bit. Don't burn out.
 FairyHealer
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 22
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:56:38 PM
Like & Lust is not “Love”

Love happens when people spend time together ….. seeing someone 4 times in 2 weeks is “just getting to know them.” It’s people like this who end up married and divorced in 1 years time …. and wondering ..... what went wrong?????

Peace ….the FairyHealer
 EmotionallyDetached
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 23
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:16:32 PM
Why not? It could happen to anyone. It's called infatuation. Girls like your, ahem, friend are a rare find for a person like this person you speak of and very different from what he is used to "dating".
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 24
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In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:39:26 PM
Im going to just throw this out there- personality disorder.

Addiction - declaring love very fast blah blah blah.

Romantic narcissist. Sorry.

Sweeps you off your feet -well actually hypnotizes you with all the great sex.
Tells you all these wonderful things about yourself.

Gets you hooked. Makes excuses NOT to see you - abandons you - comes
back. on and on.

He may very well be genuine but because of his spilling his guts over his
past- probably something she really would see as a red flag but isnt - means
he is weaving her into his web, getting her to accept things she would normally
not.

Its like a hit and run. Let me know when he disapears. Oh yeah one more thing-
not seeing her but texting her constantly - monopolizing her time - her giving him
all the attention.

I dont know - Normally I would tell you that - hey man, let it flow. That was
my first thought. Im going with my gut thought here.

Wait one more thing - is he charming - yeah charming and we can talk about
things and he "gets" me. Yeah all part of the web. It happens very very fast too.

Good luck.
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 25
In Love after two weeks?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:26:53 PM

Why would someone from out of state attend a singles event in another state when they are only planning to be there for a few weeks?

Food for thought.
SoftAndHappy has a point there.
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