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 Author Thread: Definitely something wrong. Help!
 SFbaybface

Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 1
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:50:55 PM
-sigh-
Not one reply since I rewrote my profile. Previously, I had several. I guess girls really don't like nice guys. Reviews, advice welcome & appreciated.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member13125420.htm
 canam miles

Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 2
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:13:12 PM
Yeah women hate nice guys. That's it.

I think not. Let me assure you that the issue is your profile and not women.
Great pictures by the way. There is one that you have with the fly awy hair at a distance. Drop it.


Hi there.

I'm a nice, chill, educated guy who is honest & straightforward.

Yawn. Nice. Chill. Honest? C'mon! Say something that sets you apart from the literally millions of other guys on here! The point is to try and be interesting, not just list some words that everyone else listed! How does any of those things catch the readers attention?

Yes, I said 'nice'. If you're looking for a big bad dude, I'm probably not it. This is not to say I don't have a temper and aggressive side, but there's a time & place for that. It is almost 2010- long past time for men to get over our macho bullsh*t and rise to a higher level. But if you disagree, I'm happy to listen...

?? Are you serious? That did not sound very nice. It sounded whiny and aggressive. try reading it out loud and see for yourself. Here is a secret, dude. Most guys are nice. Nice ain't nuthin' special or rare. Trying to sell us on how 'nice' you are by telling us that you have a temper and are aggressive and then talking about attitudes being bullsh*t is not working! Trying to sell us on how nice you are period is just bad. Drop this entire thing.


I enjoy hanging with my friends & family. I have a dry sense of humor and can be sarcastic. Food & drink are big interests of mine. I love food, wine, & beer from around the world. Trying something new is always fun.

Not bad stuff here. But details are the key. Do you like Tsing Tao beer from China for it's crisp refreshing summer taste or do you like Xingu Mexican Black beer? Do you enjoy a shiraz from Australia (all shiraz is from Australia. Sirah is the same version just not from Aussieland) or an Spanish red with heavy tannins? I would drop the sarcastic remark.

I tend to choose my own path, not necessarily the one pop-culture offers.

Drop the pop-culture reference. Tend to chose your own path is fine. The rest sounds snotty.

I'm a part-time student working towards a masters degree. Also interested in urban adventures, movies, learning, art, photography, antiques/furniture repair, health, reading, etc. Massage, reflexology, hot tub, and steam saunas are great when I have a chance.

Great. What is an 'urban adventure?

In a woman I appreciate intelligence & education, honesty, self esteem, communication, imagination, creativity,
Good.

and a non-drama attitude whenever possible.

Drop this. Too negative. reads badly.

Usually I'm attracted to dark hair, brown skin, curves, a great smile, and almond shaped eyes.

Really? Dude you just painted a picture of a person, down to the almond shaped eyes. The first impression that I got was you were either thinking about someone specific (Frankly, you just described Angelina jolie) or that you are into Polenesian looking women but were too afraid to say it.
Try not to be so specific in your physical description unless that is all you are looking for. You should describe some of the things that she enjoys doing or how she enjoys spending her time. Is she an artsy person, or does she enjoy going out and paintingthe town red at night? Is she into camping and fishing? Does she share a love of science fiction?
 luvnlife2

Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 3
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:19:34 PM
Your primary photo needs to be a good, sharp, well lit head shot of you smiling.

I'm a nice, chill, educated guy who is honest & straightforward. Yes, I said 'nice'. If you're looking for a big bad dude, I'm probably not it. This is not to say I don't have a temper and aggressive side, but there's a time & place for that. It is almost 2010- long past time for men to get over our macho bullsh*t and rise to a higher level. But if you disagree, I'm happy to listen... - You should lose this whole paragraph. Start off by telling us who you are and why a woman would want to date you.

Food & drink are big interests of mine. I love food, wine, & beer from around the world. - This is good. Elaborate on this. Tell us what you like to cook. Paint a picture in words of the meal you can prepare.

I'm a part-time student working towards a masters degree. - What subject will you degree be in? What do you want to do with it when you graduate.?

...and a non-drama attitude whenever possible. - Delete. No woman will ever admit to having a "drama attitude".

Usually I'm attracted to dark hair, brown skin, curves, a great smile, and almond shaped eyes. - You are getting too specific here. You may eliminate some potential dates.
 majicwonder

Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 4
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:38:40 PM
Well, welcome to the harsh realities of online dating. Women online (depending on their hotness factor/age etc) will get 10-50 emails A DAY. If you want to set the hook so to speak, you have to stand out big time from the other 49 emails they are sifting through. Honestly? I stopped sending out emails to women 6 months ago as I just can't handle the rejection!



Your main picture sucks. You looked pissed off in it. No smile. No teefs. The only picture you can see your smile, you have a freakin hardhat on. (whips out the calculator: 2 / 8 = ¼ or 25% Damn, I knew my engineering degree would come in handy someday!) 25% of the pictures you are drinking. Drinking pictures = bad. And I would bet that the one where you are holding a plate in your hand has a beer bottle cropped out of your left hand, which would bring the total up to .375. Hey that would be a pretty good batting average… cept you aren’t playing baseball here. You are not a bad looking young man… but your pictures are killing you.

Your profile is bland and generic. And by reading it you can pretty much leave out the “I’m a nice guy” comment.

The “temper and aggressive side”? Tell me when is the time & place for it? Right after you may have an argument with your date? Slowly pick up speed in the car to around 80 mph, then SHOVE HER OUT THE DOOR, type of temper? I think that one line can be read a couple ways. I always look for the worst in people though.

Your 2010 comment is attacking men in general and a negative comment. If the woman disagrees with that statement, you will never hear her position as she won’t email you back.

I would just leave off the Beer and Wine comment as it comes across that you can’t go out anywhere without hammering a couple beers or 10.

Add a space between your two paragraphs. It will read easier.

“….one pop-culture offers.
I'm a part-time student…”

I would talk about what your Grad degree is going to be in. MBA or one in basket weaving? The two will have a significant pay differential I would imagine.

Most of your interests listed in the About me section are redundant with the ones you list in the Interests section. Kill them in the About me area and pick one or two of the ones you like most and tell the woman WHY you are into them.

Kill the non-drama attitude for your dream girl. Assuming you are looking for a woman and you are 35 years old, you well know that ALL women come with drama attracted. It’s negative dude.

I would leave off all of the physical characterizes as well. What happens if some thin, fair skinned, beautiful red head… or blonde with “normal” (whatever that one is) shaped eyes was wanting to contact you and looked at that last line there?

Oh, he won’t be into me.

“I can handle the truth, even if I don't like it.” – This is a defensive posture man. We all know it usually takes only a few minutes of face time to know if you are interested in someone.

Cheers!
 pilot667755

Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 5
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:11:51 PM
hi
will the way you start the profile with ima nice guy is fine but then going to attack others and saying you have an aggressive side staes to me when angrey uses physical contact might be wrong

and on the date side make it more intrusting not the same as every other guy put down something intrusting not meet for coffee or dinner boaring
 SFbaybface

Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 6
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:25:53 PM
Damn. I'm embarrassed. I have a serious re-write to do. Thanks for the advice, everyone.
 majicwonder

Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 7
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Definitely something wrong. Help!
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:38:14 PM
No need to be embarrassed man. Just take the tips that you have been given and take your time to write a quality profile. Writing a good profile is WAY harder than reviewing one.

While you are working on the profile text, get out and get better pictures of yourself too! You have a great smile in the 6th picture. Get one like that, but outdoors or great lighting for that main picture. Oh and for God’s sake don’t be drinking in it!! No hats, no shades, no booze etc.

Cheers!
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