| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:00:46 PM | | After being on my own for 6 years I have just recently found someone on PoF and he seemed very interested. He even put me as his favourite. I thought, 'wow he's quick' and felt quite good. Emails going back and forth for a while now, but then I noticed that he never REALLY answers my questions and he asked for another pic of me. I thought he must be quite interested and then I heard nothing from him for over a week or so. My friend suggested that maybe he wanted to wait until I moved to his city, which I am going to in another week or two. So I gave him another shot and voila, ther's an email again. "Was working in bla bla bla in the last week" and that was that. I wrote another email back and casually stated that I was wondering what happend. And I am waiting again for an answer. I am confused. Is he or isn't he interested? Am I a favourite or not? Is this fellow playing games or is he too busy. Is he holding on to me and then looking some place else? What is the meaning of all this? I know I am not exclusive, but I feel a little miffed about this whole thing of waiting for an answer and then not getting one, but being called a favourite and not being treated as such. I have actually removed him from my favourite list, but it still irks me. Some thoughts anyone? | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:05:58 PM | | Cuty cuty,thats so nutty, just cause your a favourite doesnt make you a buddy,lol. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:09:07 PM | I think you are too invested in some person you barely know. You have a Master's degree, so I assume you are intelligent enough to be able to read the signs a guy is interested or not. If he was interested, he would make it a point to keep in contact with you. He hasn't....so move on. Don't waste another second on a guy who can't decide whether he has the time or energy to invest in pursuing you. You're too good for that.
And really, stop overthinking it. Some guys just like the ego stroke of having a woman who is interested in them. Wait for a guy who makes it VERY clear he is interested. That's my two cents. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:09:28 PM | | Getting irked over a few emails? You're irked because he didn't do what you wanted him to when and how you wanted him to. That's really the crux of it someone can dress it up or call it something else. It sounds like you're either needy or controlling, neither very attractive qualities. Perhaps that's why he didn't jump when you emailed him. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:15:14 PM |
I know I am not exclusive, but I feel a little miffed about this whole thing
Good crypes woman.... he's not all that interested, move on. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:29:45 PM | If he emails you, great.
If he doesn't, so what.
If the lag time between emails bothers you, keep looking
If he never REALLY answers your questions, what's the point? | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:45:45 PM | RE: "If he emails you, great.
If he doesn't, so what."
I agree. I answer emails when I darn well feel like it. I try to do it within 3 days, but often it takes a week. If someone is not willing to wait then they should just move along. And being " a favorite" means only that I can easily find you again...sometimes that is purely to READ your profile (for the first time!). It means nothing in romantic/emotional terms. I think a lot of people misunderstand that about favorites. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:02:17 PM | People favorite other people for any myriad of reasons. We all have our own, so there's not set "how it's supposed to be".
How someone's supposed to treat a favorite...from the OP, how is that? There isn't an answer, only personal expectations.
Whoah I have a few emails to send out and tell my favorites how they're supposed to treat me. Lots of peanut butter cookies and chocolate...yeah, that'd be great! 
Back to our regular programming.....don't touch that dial! (ehh...remote) | |
|
| |
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:43:35 PM | | He wasn't sooooo dang great now was he? Limit ur heart to 1st or only one option and ur gonna miss out!! | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:52:52 PM | | If a guy is interested he keeps in touch and wants to build rapport. If he's not interested, he doesn't. It's really that simple. Don't waste mental energy on someone who's not interested. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:29:41 PM | You must be new to this. You are putting waaay too much energy into the little details that don't matter. Back the bus up and don't invest yourself so deeply in so little.  | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:48:33 PM | Short answer: don't wait.
You're not quite young enough to be my daughter but you're bringing out the maternal instinct in me because I cringe when I see nice people like you get their faces shoved down into the hard concrete that can sometimes be the online dating world.
Please do me a favor so I can sleep tonight without worrying about you. Promise you'll spend some time reading in these forums before you enter into another correspondence.
All the mistakes you just made are natural for a beginner but there is no reason to learn every lesson the hard way. Make use of your intellect to make a study of this site and how it works, and you won't be sorry that you prepared yourself that way. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:20:32 PM | | Sounds like you are more interested in him than he is in you. Move on, don't wait. Email tons of guys and have fun! | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:52:55 PM | I know I am not exclusive
Good grief,woman.........you havent even met this man and you're getting THIS upset........?????
You're 48,not 18........dont place too much importance on the Fave List or the fact you exchanged a few emails.....
He sounds very casual and laidback to me and if you keep up this fervent stress,you'll never meet him.
Chill out,ok?
Good Luck ! | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:03:49 PM | OP: When someone places you on their favorites it means NOTHING other than a place holder for your cyber buddies, forum pals and whomever you've exchanged a dialogue with. It really holds no true value in terms of a romantic interest.
You can't place all your eggs in one basket. I can assure you you are not the only woman this man is emailing and going on dates with. You do the same UNTIL a man's actions match his words, you meet in person and have a mutual desire to explore a potential relationship.
Until then, have fun, email as many men that pique your interest and let the rest unfold accordingly.
Have a glass of wine, and chill now..............
P.S. Oh, and wait on NO ONE..........time is of essence and it can't be turned back! | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:28:16 PM | I'm gonna do a little experiment and blow up the PoF servers by clicking every single woman on here as my favourite....yeah...just ace! Pointless experiments like this can be a source of extreme annoyance and possibly the last straw to break some camel's back...speaking of which....
PS. OP, don't wait. He should've have woken you up before he went went. (Sorry Wham! reference) | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:21:35 PM | | No sarcastic intent in this...........JEWLSEY is about to figur the male species out completely! Most ladies way over annalyze us guys using natural emotional based female logic. Guys are easy! If interested and no games, ur gonna recieve full attention when we can give it. If we don't like, we don't show u. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:29:52 PM | Just because I am listed as someone's favorite or they mine, doesn't mean anything more than an online friend because of certain interests. Have a couple POF male friends whom I send and get email from, but it doesn't mean we want to be anything more than friends. And we often go days or even weeks without contacting other.
~Beth~ | |
|
| |
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:15:32 PM |
recently found someone on PoF and he seemed very interested. He even put me as his favourite. I thought, 'wow he's quick' and felt quite good.
The "Favorites" list means nothing. 100+ men have put me on their favorites and I only communicate with about 5 of them.
I know I am not exclusive, but I feel a little miffed about this whole thing of waiting for an answer and then not getting one, but being called a favourite and not being treated as such. I have actually removed him from my favourite list, but it still irks me. Some thoughts anyone?
You probably had your 15 minutes of fame with him...now it's time for you to get over it...he obviously has gotten over you and moved onto another "favorite"
(welcome to online dating ) | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:06:52 AM | I think you've got your answer. You just need to accept it.
Face it, if this is his communication style during the get-to-know-you stage of a relationship, it ain't gonna get any better!
If we won't take your questions seriously, he won't take you seriously. Accept and move on. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:50:15 AM | As all the others have stated, the guy simply isn't interested any longer.
He may have been at one point, but something "shinier" got his attention. Happens all the time here on POF. You'll get used to it. | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:46:40 PM | No.
I have a dozen of profiles in my"favorites", they are men and women, US and abroad. It doesn't mean I am interested in that...
I don't think he is intersted or very interested in you. Maybe you are on his list (waiting list, backup list), definetely not on the top though ...
For those who care about nothing but photos, I won't even bother with them, just ignor them.
Won't answer your questions? Run quick!
Stop any forms of contacting him, not worth your time... | |
|
| To wait or not to wait
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:09:22 PM | | hes not good enough for you move on to someone who deserves you! | |
|
Home
login 
