| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:35:08 PM | | there is a girl in real life and im stone wall mad about her.i think she likes me too and i want to seal the deal.i have a plan ive been mulling over for ages.i want to send flowers to her in work as a way of asking her out?should i just go for it and send them in.will she think im a big sad fool?help please.i like to live by the nothing ventured nothing gained saying but i dont want to make a fool out of myself either,help help help please ladies. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:41:13 PM | Man, I have done this route many many times..thinking the same thing...she likes me so its all good. Ive used it as a way of introducing myself, a way of saying hey...I like you.
Each time it was a complete disaster, didnt work out, got ignored. I got one phone call out of it but it was a more thank you call then anything.
Save your money and wait until you at least had a date. Ladies may like flowers but getting them strangely delivered can freak them out... I think.
I dont know if she would think ur a sad fool...or a weirdo. i vote against it based on my experience doing this exact thing. Read my post titled "swm looking for female advice" or close to that....Im am not choosing the flowere routine with this one....
I am bringing flowers when I go to dinner though....
the flower days are over for me unless I knw the girl. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:45:10 PM | | Have a party at your house and invite her...then you can observe how she interacts with you....dont send flowers unless she's done something fabulous... | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:45:36 PM | | thanks bud.but its not for a date im bringing them itsto ask her on a date cause im usually not nervous asking girls out but i would be with this one,shes not out my league beautiful but i think shes the prettiest thing i ever seen.she wont appreciate bing called thing either.haha. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:47:28 PM | "there is a girl in real life "
As opposed to the ones where ? | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:51:23 PM | | i meant i dont know her through this,no confusion or offence meant to anyone.i meant some lovely women on this site,but i think ill be leaving soon.well i hope if this goes well, | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:51:53 PM | Dude, I think he meant outside of the fish playground...
Always has to be one....lol
So your saying your hand delivering them, if thats the case then you should contact her that day or a day or two before hand and say hey...im in your area you have a moment for me to stop by....
The work thing is weird though...you dont want to get her in trouble etc or embarrass her in front of co workers.
it sounds like you already talk with her...so it seems you started your ascent up the ladder.....
I just got pushed off of mine.... :( lol | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:54:25 PM | | a gift from out of nowhere can look like you're trying to obligate her, 'buy' her affection. like you think just being you isn't enough. which means you're not. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:56:43 PM | Save the flowers for when you've actually gone out on a date with her -- perhaps more than just one date too to be safe. .... Like mentioned above, sending her flowers to ask her out may only make her feel uncomfortable at this point. *Heck, I know I would!*
OP - Asking her out is already enough of a sign to show that you are interested in her. No need to overdo it with flowers yet! ... Just ask her out and see how it goes. Plenty of time later on to do the whole wine & dine thing once its established that there's mutual interest. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:57:33 PM | There is no one size fits all answer. I can tell you how I would react, but I can't tell you how the woman you want to date will react.
I'm assuming you are talking about sending a bouquet from a florist. In that case, if a man I didn't know at all sent me flowers, I think that would make me feel a little pressured and awkward. If I knew the man already and liked him but hadn't dated him, I think it would be a very positive thing. If I were in a serious relationship with the man, I would totally love it.
Again, I can't tell you how this particular woman would react, but you might want to take things a little slower and save the flowers until you've been out on a few dates.
If you wanted to drop by and give her something you picked yourself, that you grew in your own garden, or a single stem (not red rose - too intense and full of meaning) from a street vendor, that could be a little less pressure and much more charming for someone you haven't dated yet.
Good luck to you! | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:57:55 PM | | being pushed off the ladder sucks,bad one dude.id get him sent to her house but youd never find her house..she lives in a very very rural area.i know her from where she works see,im the postman there.well was.im somewhere else now.i gave her a lend od dvds a few months ago and whenever i go in to get them she always says oh i forgot them,will ya come in again another day?so i dont know what to think! | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:02:26 PM | Sending flowers to her work as a way of asking her out?
Uhh...well for me, that wouldn't be a go. A phone call, if you know her in real life, stay OUT of her workplace...GAK, if you see her in another venue, ask her out. Face to face, the flowers are a prop.
Asking her out with flowers isn't sealing the deal. Get over yourself, thinking you don't want to look like a fool? You aren't the first guy that's asked her out, if you want to go out with her, get past what your fears are.
That's lame, women are attracted to confident men. Sending her flowers at her work means you're not sure enough of yourself to ask her out face to face.
Forget about making a fool of yourself...crickey, men ask women out all the time. They talk to them, flirt with them...it happens!
Shuck the pampers and put on your big boy pants and go ask the woman out. It's a yes or a no, not the end of your life. Big deal, if she says no, go ask out someone else.
Sending flowers or gifts, unless you've been going out, it's inappropriate and may make her uncomfortable. Be direct, say you like her or find her....blah blah...something other than the physical...show that you appreciate her for something other than that.
It may "work" (whatever that means) it may not.
Edit after reading king's post.
It's not that there's anything wrong with it. Bringing or send flowers is a gesture. It can be sweet and thoughtful, for someone you know and have had some personal interaction with. What type of flowers, the men that know me, know what kinds of flowers are my favorite, it's not the money spent, it's the ahh...how sweet, it's that they know you enough to know you favor those kind of flowers. It's not the flowers or the gesture, it's paying attention IMO.
I've never made anyone who brought or sent me flowers feel bad about it. I appreciate the thought..the sentiment. Honestly, from the flowers I've been given, it speaks to how well they know me. I love roses, grown them, so I have very specific tastes and preferences.
It's about how well you know someone, whether it's flowers or a token gift. It could be a book, but it's one by an author I like and I don't have. You have to know someone to know that. It could be a CD by an artist, because you said in passing, wow I heard this song on the radio....won't bore you with that story. It's about paying attention.
"a gift from out of nowhere can look like you're trying to obligate her, 'buy' her affection. like you think just being you isn't enough. which means you're not."
As more often than not, david lands a swisher! (It's basketball lingo...why am I explaining this....hahah) Read his posts, I have, and yeah they're a winner! | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:12:34 PM | Bad idea to send flowers to someone you barely know to her work place especially. Have you hopefully been working on a "Plan B"?
Cowboy | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:15:02 PM | Rule #97 in the Meeting New Women handbook expresssly states the following:
"Guys who send flowers to women who have yet to confirm definite interest are tools and will be treated as such, unless they are simply ignored."
i think she likes me too and i want to seal the deal.
The operative word is "think," which means you do not know. That brings us to Rule #42 in the Meeting New Women handbook, which addresses this matter as such:
"It is forbidden in the Brotherhood Code to spend any money on a new female interest until such time as she has firmly made her desire for at least one date known to you."
Grow some balls and go tell her you want some time to get to know her. All this other "I'm skeered to ask her out" stuff is pussified balderdash and embarrassing to witness. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:23:08 PM |
Grow some balls and go tell her you want some time to get to know her. All this other "I'm skeered to ask her out" stuff is pussified balderdash and embarrassing to witness.
That's both wise and rich...thanks for the LOUD laugh! Every word is gold, THANK YOU! I'm glad a man said it.  | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:44:30 PM | | Why don't you just call her up and ask her for a date? What's the big deal already. DO IT. Why are you complicating this?? Personally, I wouldn't appreciate a guy I barely know sending flowers to me at my workplace. UNcool. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:45:19 PM | OP: If you want to verify if she likes you as well, next time you see her smile/start a conversation and ask her out.
Don't send flowers, as you are unsure if she digs you or not. Save that money!!! | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:46:01 PM | I've had flowers sent to me many many...many times before... and I love it!
but...dude.... you don't know this girl eh?....save your money...get to know her...and at some point.. you will know when.... if you still feel in that romantic eager mood...then go for it and get all gooey and send her a nice simple bouquet.... for gosh sakes don't send roses...for one it is so passes.... it's a big commitment....and it's too pricey.
and don't get caught up in the holiday extravaganza...... ie).... the Thanksgiving events....the Xmas party, New Years party where you lay out a lot of your heart and cash and then she dumps you after the holiday season.
sorry..but I have witnessed this many times and it is disgusting.... people who use people for the holidays to fit into the social scene....Users...all of them.
Be careful out there....and good luck with this gal. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:51:38 PM | Obviously, different people feel differently about it.
I love receiving flowers from any man. Heck, even from a woman. It makes me feel great. I don't see them as a bribe and I feel no further obligations. As for "saving money" - I tend to not date those who save money on dating.
Sending flowers to the place where she works is not a good idea. You have no idea what kind of dynamics do they have there, and your gift may put her in a weaker position. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:23:24 PM | will she think im a big sad fool?
Yes. Overeager, desperate, chumpy and manipulative. Think about it from her side. Some guy who doesn't even know her (except superficially) is sending her flowers. Why? Whatever you like about her still only merely superficial. Superficial attraction. Well and good, but not grounds for some Grand Gesture.
Despite what you learned from Hollywood and TV, over the top gestures of this sort rarely work, and make you look like a idealistic chump who is in love with some contrived image in your own head.
No. Don't do it. Never do it. Or anything like it. Buy her flowers after you've been going out solidly for three months. And even then don't get carried away. The little things of life mean a lot more than the Big Gestures anyway.
Keep it light. Go in easy. | |
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| flowers,help me girls.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:37:29 PM | | So whats the deal, just ask her out on the phone. The least she can say is no and its easier than facing rejection face to face. Talk to her for a while then ask her if she want to hang out. Good Luck. | |
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