| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:46:57 PM | | I have never considered asking for a second chance when an ex dumps me, nor have I ever felt her reasons justify my change of behavior because I am who I am. But what exactly is it someone wants to hear in order for themselves to think maybe they are acting irrational. I like a peaceful relationship, I am like a rock of gebralter kind of person, I seem to attract women that try to act authoratative. But I am a introvert type and know exactly what I want and why I do things, no need to explain my actions or behavior for getting things done. So these irrational types seem to make mountians out of mole hills get irratinal and blow the relationship off. What I dont know is if asking for a second chance would effect thier irratinal behavior in the future or am I just better off with the decision not to pursue someone that blows things off if they cant handle things? | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:51:53 PM | | Why would you ask for a second chance with someone who has already dumped you? Are you a glutton for punishment, do you like to suffer? Maybe what you should be asking yourself is why you attract "irrational" women. Look inside yourself. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:54:09 PM | | That is my question, I have never asked for a second chance, I see guys asking for it and wonder am I missing something? I never have, I am wondering if women expect men to ask? Otherwise I will just dismiss this issue. I do nothing wrong, I am just who I am. No need to look inside theres nothing hiding inside, lol | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:55:19 PM | Honestly, you sound pretty irrational right now. I think one of those 'irrational' people rattled your cage. It' s okay to embrace it, it's called emotions. Doing things for reasons you 'know' are rational and not needing to explain yourself because, you 'know' you're rational is called bad communication style. Dear lord, that attitude would drive me up the friggin' wall and I am a 'rational' person for the record. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:56:21 PM | Sam,
Why would you want a second chance with someone who:
* seem to make mountians out of mole hills
* get irratinal and blow the relationship off
* cant handle things
???
You got your second chance. You got rid of her and even got to let her be the bad guy who dumped you. Congratulations. You won.
I seem to attract women that try to act authoratative.
I hear ya. First, we gave them shoes. Then we let them vote. Next thing you know, they think. What is this world coming to? | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:01:05 PM | Thanks Openheart,
I can see your point. You listed the things, its revealing when someone repeats the reasons, I never saw my own words in someone elses way. Thanks. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:01:05 PM | Sam,
Just by reading your post tells me that there is no need for you to ask for a second chance.
You are the way you are and they are the ways that they are. Either they are looking for someone like you or they aren't.
As you have so eloquently stated and I'll now paraphrase: If they can't figure out that I know already so there is no need to explain things. So maybe I should explain how they were wrong in sizing me up and get another shot?
Some are leaders and others followers. Many are listeners and want to know all about what makes you tick then others have well kept secrets and share little of them selves. One thing for certain is no one is right for everyone and there are plenty of fish in the sea.
J Mac | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:04:37 PM |
But what exactly is it someone wants to hear in order for themselves to think maybe they are acting irrational.
Huh? No one wants to be told they are irrational.
I suspect that this 'irrational behaviour' you are speaking of is not nearly as irrational as you would have us believe. I'm thinking maybe...certain people are telling you what they think and how they feel but you are not listening. Not just not listening, but dismissing any concerns they bring up as unimportant and 'irrational.'
I am like a rock of gebralter kind of person
Oh you are a rock, you are an island? So why are you whining about getting dumped? shouldn't bother you.
Or, go ahead and ask for a second chance, but don't bother unless you are prepared to rethink this first:
no need to explain my actions or behavior | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:05:53 PM | Why do you assume their behaviour is irrational? It may be different from your approach but people are different. It sounds like you don't like their behaviour and resist it, so it's not surprising that things don't work out between you. I agree you shouldn't have to explain every action or your motivations - we all need privacy - but it depends how far you take this. If you are generally uncommunicative about things that matter to a partner, then they will get frustrated. I suspect it would help you if you got some feedback from impartial friends or maybe a counsellor about what could be happening in relationships.
Generally, if things have broken up it's because one or both parties has decided they are no longer attracted or can't make the relationship work, so asking for a second chance may be pointless. Why would you ask for a second chance if you felt it all went downhill because of their 'irrational' behaviour anyway? I think you have two choices: either give up on those women who can't handle you the way you are, or go into some kind of therapy to find out if you are contributing to the breakdowns. Good luck. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:10:28 PM | | I have no need for therapy, I am who I am. I will just accept things as they are and live a happy life the way I am. I found some enjoyment with the ladies but they seem to have too many problems they dont talk about till there ready to end it, that to me is acting irrational. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:10:48 PM | If you're attracting 'irrational women' (snort) - you have to look at the lowest common denominator...YOU.
Your picker's broken - take a break from seeking out female company until you figure out why YOU pick the women you're picking. Simple. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:14:12 PM | Humm a new picker, maybe I need to have my buddys set me up with someone instead of choosing those that come around me at the parties. Thanks for the advice, Need to go Picker shopping.
I just figured it out. I dont choose, they choose me! I dont think I have really ever pursued someone I want, I am usually the one pursued and I accept one of them.
Wow, amazing I never actually realized that before. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:45:04 PM | How does a man ask for a second chance.
You ask for a second chance this way, "please, after having been rejected from thee, I do pray thee humbly and sincerely, grant unto me another chance to receive humiliating rejection from thee one more time, for I am thine eternal and everlasting doormat who is not worthy of touching the hem of thine burnoose." Or something like that.
Get real. You really want another chance to be dumped? C'mon. Where's you self-respect? Fuggedaboudit. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:45:12 PM | | Dont go back to the scene of the crime....if you dumped her...i would say..if she was a fabulous women...take a shot at it...i think you should consider yourself lucky... | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:49:09 PM |
You ask for a second chance this way, "please, after having been rejected from thee, I do pray thee humbly and sincerely, give me another chance to take humiliating rejection from you one more time, for I am thine eternal and everlasting doormat who is not worthy to unstrap the belt of your burnoose." Or something like that.
Get real. You really want another chance to be dumped? C'mon. Where's thine self-respect? Fuggedaboudit
LOL, very funny. Just not me, lol thanks I must of been crazy to think I ever needed to put someone on a throne. I cant get over that funny humiliation of a statement, you did a good job thanks 
Actually I own a debt of gratatude to ForumPhantum, she mentioned a new Picker, which lead me to realizing I dont pick the girls, they choose me. I just accept the ones that come around. I think it will take a little more work choosing one I want in the future. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:50:53 PM |
That is my question, I have never asked for a second chance, I see guys asking for it and wonder am I missing something?
if you saw some guy jumping off a bridge... would you want to do that too?
anyhow....don't go there. Erase it out of your mind.
I don't know any dumbarse men who would want to beg a woman for a second chance if she truly 'Dumped' him.
So wrong if you are that type of person who loves punishment and will allow someone to abuse you and then you go back for more.
now... if you are in a marriage....some of us stay...cos there are other issues involved...many issues.... children, assets...etc...and they stick it out til it is intolerable to be with that person any longer.... by this time you are so bruised and abused and violated and unsure of yourself that your life is hell.
so.... dating?.. someone dumps you... leave...don't look back...don't give them another chance to abuse you. And hell don't marry them. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:09:07 PM | This is what I would want to hear:
"I realize that I was wrong in this too. I am sorry for my part in this. We were both to blame in this and neither of us is perfect. I will listen to you in the future and take your feelings into consideration. I won't just stomp off if I can't have my way and start over with a new woman. It would be worth it to meet you half way to be able to enjoy the benefits of a realationship with you. It doesn't always have to be my way or the highway."
Not too much to ask, I don't think. But, apparently to some, it is. | |
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| How does a man ask for a second chance.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:14:55 PM | There are a shocking number of men and women alike who crave getting smacked around. My guess is it is an underlying sex thing, a S&M bent. We've all seen men and women alike line up around the block to play "Thank you Ma'am or Sir, may I have another smack?" with the nearest sadist.
If you attract that sort in the droves it probably is a compliment. That you are a challenge to control, a worthy opponent. However, if it is that you equally enjoy that challenge, you will meet your match, and your maker if you don't stop. Although female sadists are much rarer than male sadists, the female is the deadlier of the species. | |
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