| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:18:45 PM | So my ex and i dated for 8 years.
I was 17 when we met, he was about to turn 25. we both still lived at home, it was the recession of the early 90's.
after dating for 8 years and after i finished college, we moved in together in our 8th year.
he started his career that same year and kept procrastinating marriage and children.
5+ years later, he still was.
into the 6th year i started to talk with a guy i dated in high school and he told me that after 8 years dating and 6 years living together, if he hadn't proposed or shown much interest, he likely didn't want those things. so i slowly lost my mind and in a matter of months, moved out, had high school guy i dated move in with me, i freaked out cuz it was stupid, ex found out and within a week went on POF, met a girl and started up a relationship. I went back with my ex and ex broke it off 3 weeks in with POF girl. he decided i was on probation and felt he had an excuse to continue to procrastinate.
within a few months, i lost it again and moved out. before i was fully moved out, ex went back on POF, met another girl and then basically proceeded to ignore my calls and treat me like garbage. once we sold our condo, he moved in with her in her house after only dating her for 8 months (meanwhile it took 8 years before we moved in together), and a month after moving in (Jan 09), he knocked her up and now, 9 months later, they have a kid.
He's known her for about 18 months now and seems happy and is still treating me like i'm irrelevant. is he in a rebound? what do you make of all this? | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:49:46 PM | You obviously were and are still in love with him.
Maybe, you thought you were soul mates or each others true loves???
I am guessing here.
You are hurting yourself worse, by letting their relationship interfere with YOUR happiness. Try to get past this HURT. I know what you are going through kinda..
Analyzing past relationships can turn into a obsession, which can land you in the seat with a mental health care professional for symptoms of depression.
There is someone out there that will love you and cherish you.... | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:49:46 PM | Sorry you invested so much of your youth to this man. You have to move forward ... You cannot change what happened by trying to find reasons why it happened... Maybe, he was just ready! At this point, it really doesn't matter anymore.
Spend time getting over it and feeling confident in yourself. Try not to rush into a new relationship until you feel at peace with yourself. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:52:09 PM |
i should also add he was coming upon his 40th birthday when i moved out and the girl he met on here, moved in with and knocked up within 9 months was turning 41. they decided that time was of the essence in the family department so decided to have a kid 9 months in.
kinda soon, no? wrong reason to have a kid so soon into a relationship, no?
You're obsessing with this man. Let it go! What he does or doesn't do is no longer any of your business.
We can analyze why he knocked her up, didn't marry you and had a kid til the cows come home. Nothing is going to change. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:06:26 PM | Sorry to say it sounds like you knew this wasn`t right after 6 years. That being stated you two both knew it was time to part and move your seperate ways... In his mind you have become irrelevant and it appears he`s starting over without you. Why aren`t you doing the same?
<div class='quote'>I'm thinking more along the line of what will come of their relationship.
how does someone go from procrastinating their whole life to rushing into things in their next. i can't see it working out in the long term and am just curious what others think in that regard. how about her snagging him to have a baby? she is 41.
i see how much you`re really hurt by all of this. But, to continue to dwell on what he`s doing makes no sense! Are you speaking to someone who can help you with this issue?
Have you once again began to date?
It`s over, what this person does now is not your concern anymore...
You seem like you believe he`s coming back to you, won`t happen.. The faster you realize this, the faster you`ll be able to move on... | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:08:41 PM | | thanks for your note. i have been thinking the same thing as well, in fact that new mama might already have her own story to tell. he might not leave her sooner or later just because he isn't the leaving kind, would sooner stay in a dead relationship than be the one who leaves. either way, we might both be wrong but out of all the replies i received, yours was the most meaningful. it was what i needed to hear, even if it doesn't turn out like we suspect and it works out forever for them. its still what i need to hear now..LOL! | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:15:28 PM | | correct me if wrong but you did say you moved out on him then had a good time with high school buddy then decided no to him moved back in with the regular guy then moved out again , so like how long was he supposed to wait till you decided if you wanted him again as well? It is a two way street and he decided to move on first was all and not do the waiting game . Such is life and yes it oes suck at times as well. Move on with your life and wish him the best in his new life and take the high road and be proud of yourself from that point forward . | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:24:55 PM | Ok.. truth time
I voted to delete this thread
But then.. realizing it might continue.. I must give you some toughlove truths
Your posts here are pitytrolling.. and are SO SO SO UNbecoming a woman your age.
He is done
YOU are focusing on HIM and getting all worked up over HIM.. but are still 34 and alone and NOT WITH HIM ANYMORE..
Grow up.. and plan the rest of your life.. PLAN it.. and forget HIM.. Sheeesh
Ya know.. you hooked up with him at 17.. and now.. 17 years later.. you STILL sound 17 from your post.. TOTALLY UNdeveloped.. UN..... developed.
Live in the past.. and repeat it.. Live FOR the future.. and make it. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:19:07 PM | I hear about these stories all the time...person was in a longterm relationship with no marriage in sight or hesitance on his part and date for 8-10 years...then once out...they meet someone and marry within a year...or a longterm marriage and don't want kids...they get divorced...within a year meet someone and have a baby. Actually it's happened to me...I was in a 5 year relationship...and just didn't see marriage but was comfortable in the relationship...the day we broke up I met someone that night and would have married him after 6 months...something told me he was the one...I couldn't even figure out what I was feeling...but just knew he was someone special...so I broke off...stupid me...I wasn't ready for happily ever after and got cold feet  But he did say...he was going to marry me one of these days...he knows it...altho I don't think that's going to happen anymore...so I always say...it doesn't take years and years to figure it out...you know pretty darn quick. | |
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| Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS!
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:30:28 PM |
into the 6th year i started to talk with a guy i dated in high school and he told me that after 8 years dating and 6 years living together, if he hadn't proposed or shown much interest, he likely didn't want those things. so i slowly lost my mind and in a matter of months, moved out, had high school guy i dated move in with me, i freaked out cuz it was stupid, ex found out and within a week went on POF, met a girl and started up a relationship.
So, you dump guy number 1, go bang guy number 2, move in with number 2 then wonder why you lost guy number 1?
Just wondering...
... 'cause, if I have it right, what the fvck is your complaint, exactly?
Of course, I have difficulty interpreting some posts that are poorly written, so please clarify if I've got something wrong here...
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