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Posted: 11/4/2009 7:26:50 PM | If you compliment a persons profile just as a flirt I guess and they answer back....
Thanks....should you say something else as they answered back, or are they just being nice by responding but are not really interested? | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 7:37:03 PM | Who knows? Give it a shot. You at least got some kind of reply.
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 7:38:13 PM | If you're really interested, you can "play with them" by replying like this: "Ok, nice to hear from you but can you please NOT send me those LONG responses in the future? Thanks". If they play along, great. If not, it's the end of a beautiful beginning....  | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 7:41:27 PM | Yeah, follow up his "Thanks" response with another e-mail. Ask him about one of the things that you liked in his profile. Show some interest in him.
I've had people e-mail me back saying that they like my profile, but that didn't mean that they wanted to converse more than that. Frankly, on the flirt-o-meter, it is a weak one only due to its ambiguity. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 7:50:09 PM | | Usually it's being polite...i'm deciding to respnd to someone here about an e-mail he sent me earlier...said..i'm interesting...would like to meet up...likes going to spa's...getting waxed...ect...odd enough...but..i will respond... | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 8:03:25 PM | Thanks for the advice. We are going back and forth at the moment so he is interested enough to respond. I have not contacted anyone before but feel I have to as no one is really contacting me. I guess this is all a learning experience and I have lots to learn.
Will just try to not take the rejection personal. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 8:12:48 PM | Good for you.
and expunge the word "rejection" from your vocabulary.
It implies being thrown into the reject(scrap) pile for all time.
It's not like that.
We all have attributes that please some but don't please others.
I have never been "rejected".
Just "taken a pass" on.
Lots of times.
LOL
The girls that took a pass on me freed me up to find a girl that didn't.
Good Luck. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 8:15:28 PM | | all good points, thanks | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 8:46:47 PM | | Sure, reply one more time. Alota times they maybe interested but thinking ur just complimenting them. Kinda goes both ways sometimes on it depending on the words u meant by flirt. Flirt , is also one of those up to u to decide if it was things. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 9:01:10 PM | | Turn it around, if you get an e-mail complimenting you about your profile what do you say back? I kind of take people for what they say, if someone says they like my profile, I believe that they think I did a good job putting together my profile. They didn't say that they thought I sounded interesting, or that we had something in common or that they had an attraction, they just said I wrote a nice profile. So what else do you say but thanks? If you like something about a person, tell them what it is you like about them, don't tell them you like what they wrote. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 10:22:49 PM | | You can do whatever you want, really. It depends on your intention. If you want to continue talking to the person because you're interested in him it only makes sense to write something else. If you're not really interested in knowing the person further I see no point in continuing. But you could keep flirting if you like it. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 10:45:28 PM | | If a guy messages you it's probably because he'd like to know you better. Why else message someone on a dating website?! | |
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Posted: 11/4/2009 11:01:18 PM | I do consistantly visit around the pond. once in a while I will see something that makes me want ot leave a comment. Usually I will say "Hello, I was out visiting around the pond and couldn't help but comment about your millin dollar smile (because she had a million dollar smile) or you have such big blue eyes (because she had big blue eyes). Then I follow up with "Just thought I would tip my hat while passing by. All that means is that I wanted to compliment them after seeing their profile. I am here for the forums, that does not mean that I cannot give credit were credit is due. Most respond with a polite thank you and then we might converse for a few mails, which is nice.
My point is, it never hurts to repsond, it might be innocent and you might meet someone you normaly would not meet with the safety net of just bein polite. Please do not look at every email as a potential jerk, some of us know our place ont he food chain, but still like to leave a compliment on our way. My mother would come up out of the grave and get me if I did not (LOL). But we do mean well. Sometimes it is nice just to make someone's day. I have found that every time I leave a nice remark, with taste, I always get some kind of response. Usually very nice, with a thank you and a few questions and then they got to know me a little better. It is like my old profile used to say at the end, it never hurts to say hi, while passing through, that is always nice to hear from a neighbor. At the end of the day, we are all neighbors here at POF. | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 12:21:39 AM | you sound pretty confused. like to the point of paralysis. i mean c'mon, do you really need advice on how to have a conversation?
before you start chasing your tail around trying to figure out if someone else is interested, why don't you determine whether YOU are interested, because that seems to be where the uncertainty lies. | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 12:56:17 AM | | For me, I would say more than "thanks", if I were interested. But it can't hurt for you to send him another message because you never know. | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 6:43:18 AM | | If I got a lone compliment I might say thank you in reply. I might not reply at all. It would not seem like something to reply to with more than thank you. It would seem like nothing more was sought, or else there would have been something else written. I get a few weird emails now and then that I figure she was moved to offer a remark, but not to start a conversation. Most of the time when I get a compliment on here if I write something they liked, it is carefully wrapped in an emphatic assertion about not being interested in me at all, never, under any circumstances. I've yet to receive a compliment doused in unsolicited rejection that seemed worth getting. Thanks? You shouldn't have. | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 6:44:09 AM | Well, when i compliment a profile, i ususally add more than that for them to respond to, if you dont, they probably think, ok thats awsome, and move on, if thats the case, and you wanna talk more, just send em a little more to respond to with next message..
otherwise if all you want to do is tell them a compliment then, your job is done | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 10:26:19 AM |
I have not contacted anyone before but feel I have to as no one is really contacting me.
Excellent! That's the right attitude to have. Online dating is like most everything else in life - you get out of it, what you put into it. Just try to make your initial contacts something more than just "nice profile". IMO, it shows a lack of initiative and is kind of a lazy approach. Kinda like seeing a guy from across the bar, making eye contact and just sort of nodding your head a little bit. Hmm, OK maybe that's a bad analogy, but I think you understand what I'm saying, right?
Will just try to not take the rejection personal.
Absolutely! If you do that in online dating, then you won't survive.
Frankly, it sounds like you're on the right track here and have a much better attitude than most "newbies". So, have fun and keep doing what you're doing! | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 10:37:02 AM | Thanks..then nothing else?
You can try, but not likely to get more than a smile icon or thanks again.. That's me being nice as in a pity hug complete with back pat.
If you like something about a person, tell them what it is you like about them, don't tell them you like what they wrote.
I agree, WHAT about my profile did you like? It sounds to copy/paste if you don't include specifics.
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Posted: 11/5/2009 10:42:45 AM | | Obviously...if you are complimenting them just to be a flirt...then...your not being genuine..or truthful...why should you worry...if they respond.... | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 10:43:26 AM | | Whenever I've done this, I'm not interested. If I was, I'd thank them, but also comment on their profile and continue the convo. | |
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