| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 1:19:46 PM | Yes. I'm new to this whole online dating sceen. And i never get a mesg. back, is it just me or, is there a proper way to contact someone. I'm stumped. Any advise would be very helpful.
Jameson
[Originally posted in the help forum / Excalibur] | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 1:38:50 PM | | hmm.. the only thing I can figure is maybe your location is a negative.. You say your looking within 75 miles from your town in Oklahoma. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 1:50:07 PM | | I would take the " hot girls" out of your dating interest. Could sound a bit shallow? And hanging with your friends doesnt sound too romantic. List some of your interests instead. And your age bracket for girls to mail you is quite slim, doesnt hurt to expand your horizons. Good Luck | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 2:02:02 PM | I know he wants opinions of women here, but for what a guy's opinion is worth:
Thats a good point about the dangers of looking too shallow. I know the ladies have a sence of RADAR with these things. I know I have been turned off women's profiles that talked about themselves as if they were somehow better. I feel most people simply choose the wrong words and are not normaly this way at all.
Perhaps just open up about your passions in life. Talk about your goals and expand on your interersts more. Maybe add a couple of light jokes. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 3:52:02 PM | | Hi there... i agree with everyone else about taking out the hot girls out of your dating interests...also in your picture find one with a smile. Good luck and take care | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 4:27:48 PM | Here's another tip:
You mention playing pool, which don;t get me wrong, is quite a fun activity....BUT then you follow up with "it's free at my work"...uhhhh....so are we going to mickey d's for dinner too? | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/24/2004 11:50:50 PM | Hey man,
Know I am kind of late of posting a message.
Though you have some really good intentions. I am in your same shoes, being a nice guy you don't always finish last.
Girls around the age that you are looking for and fit what you want, are slim to none. To be more generalised in this day an age, they want danger not security.
They like to play on the balancing wire, to have excitement and thrills. It is not till they are older that security becomes an issue. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/25/2004 1:26:24 AM | I know. I just have had to mature a lot faster than most guys for one thing. I was born in Russia, so my family fled there to avoid persecution. When it comes to relationships, I've been raised in a southern way of treating girls. But even if some girls dont want security, my hope is that something will "click" and security will become an issue.
But i really do appreciate you guys ( and girls) helping me out in this. I am new and kinda shy. especially when it comes to getting a girls attention.
Oh and if those of you who mentioned something to change in my profile, please check it out, and if there should be any more, please let me know.
Oh and due to my parents thinking, old picture style, I rarely smile, unless i am with a girlfriend. And i have those pics. but that would seem a bit odd to have her pic on here, when she and broke up. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/25/2004 11:33:58 AM | Whatever, McDonalds is the best. A number 5 for me and ah, the lady... my special lady, wants a .....what was it...oh yeah ....a number 2.......oh and dont forget to super size them..... oh yeah, I treat my ladies right.
I'm lovin it! | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/25/2004 10:53:12 PM | Hi Jameson19!
Ok, well in seeing you asked for our advise here ya go. I think your updated profile has came a long way bro! I think its much better than your first one. But.. like, hey, like I'm a guy. Bottom line is what the ladies think. 
Disclaimer aside.. I think your first date description is pretty good. However in your "About Me" section, perhaps it might be wised to rephrase the part where you say: "I would love to meet someone who is good looking, but looks are just the icing on the cake, not really important, just everyone wants it." - I hear what your saying here man, (and it's fine to say that you appreciate attractive ladies) but Im thinking to myself maybe there is a better way to say this.
Other than that.. maybe brush up on the Dating Interests a bit more. Just imangine your in the girl's shoes. She is going to want to know about who you are, your personality, and what kind of date you can be. You want to sell yourself, and indeed I feel you can afford to sell yourself a bit more without misleading anyone. - Now, I used my Dating Interest as an opportunity to interject some humor.. but I dont advise doing this unless one feels people understand the humor.
Cheers (and Welcomed to P.O.F.!) | |
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 14 | |
| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/25/2004 11:38:22 PM | And don't forget to send many many e-mails out yourself! To different ppl. the more you send out, the more chances for a responxe. Even if you are NOT interested in them, it is a nice touch to reply anyways.
Good luck! | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 10:29:05 AM | what type of things do you say to women when you 1st email them?How are you new to dating?You had a girlfriend in the past,right?
Jerome | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 12:24:08 PM | | Um, not much. i dont try to be egotistical. Mostly just saying that i wish to express an interest in you, and would love to hear from you soon. I also try to mention something, like one girl has paintball as a interest, so i commented on that, saying how cool that is. stiff like that. I know this is probably the wrong way to do it, but yes i am very shy when trying to start a conversation, since ive been hurt a lot. and that always comes back to me. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 1:42:33 PM | | i mean that i am new to this online dating scene, Ive hardly ever had trouble finding someone here, but for some reason. I cant anymore. So I'm trying this out. And I really hope I can find someone here. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 1:56:14 PM | | when i write the first time i just keep it simple... apparently there is something about the girl that caught your eye whether looks or something in her profile... dont be scared to use that... "you have beautiful eyes" "see you like cars too" might seem stupid and overused but its short simple and honest and i've gotten a reply from the majority sent... and i can't help but reply to the ones i get like this... i think it appeals to people's politeness and it at least opens the door. And dont get too excited... it takes time and just look for some friends first and things will seem to fall into place before you know it. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 3:08:44 PM | you shouldn't be shy at all if you think about it, the ones who don't reply tho they maybe great people you won't see again or be put into an uncomfortable situation after so the only thing thatwill suck more than not getting a reply is not sending a message in the first place. i have made some really good friends here and even have a love interest. even try to have a little joke in with the message you send like for me i sometimes end my messages with "if you are interested write back, if not then......................crap"
never give up buddy i am the same with not being able to find a girl here in toronto because i grew up too fast but when that happens......i've learned to go for older women
good luck
James | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 3:32:52 PM | First you need to go into this online thing with blinders on, and NO expectations. Come here, have fun, chat, and be involved. If something happens then great...if not, you're out what...a few online posts and some emails? No biggie.
Online dating doesn't really exist, it is like the mermaid...people "believe" they have seen it, but it doesn't really exist for us all.
Good luck though, and god willing, you'll find your mermaid.
~Gotta Luv Me~
G. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 21 | |
| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 3:39:54 PM | its to much a novel...and you talk negative ( ex have been hurt to much)
mentioning mall 2 times....pool...i dont know...form a womans point of veiw its very boring.
Short and sweet, to the point...put more interests on it. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 3:48:01 PM | I dont think you can have too much information in a profile. I feel if one dosent have the patience to read thru a profile, then most likely there would not be much to chat or talk about anyway.
Personally, Im leary of ladies with short profiles, I much rather read more than most put in their profiles. But thats just different strokes for ya. | |
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| Help to do the right thing
Posted: 10/26/2004 4:15:26 PM | Marshmella: To be fair to the poster of this thread, why not consider posting your question in the form of a new topic here.
I would be happy to respond. | |
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