| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:40:40 AM | I've been on this site for approx. 2 weeks now and I finally got around to putting some real thought into my profile. I've never had a profile critiqued before so it will be very interesting to see how others perceive it. A look from someone else's eyes so to speak. Please be honest but not cruel. I value your candid opinion.
So....tell me what you think! | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:09:55 AM | Wow! What a great profile! I saw some things in there that I haven't seen before. I'm curious how they will work for you. I can't decide if they're good or bad, so for now I'll just wonder. I'll see how other people comment on it to see what they think.
Your pictures are great! Nice variety, great main pic. Good job on that!
One thing that I will comment on is your choice of "prefer not to say" for whether or not you want children (I'm sure it's just my issue). I've never understood why someone would select that. Whether or not you want children, let the men know so they will know if they match you on that point or not. If you're undecided, put that. If you don't want your own, but will accept your partner's children, put that in the body of your profile so they will know. I've always just felt that people who put "prefer not to say" are hiding something that they will spring on potential partners in the future.
The other things (it's hardly worth mentioning since your profile is so great!) is I was wondering if you could put a little more of your personality in it by how you word things. Your words are clear and concise, giving us facts about you. I feel like I know your traits, now I'd like to get to feel your personality shine through.
Happy fishing! 
Edit--No, Majic--I was there; just came to the game late. Yah--life got crazy, had to deal with stuff. I've been MIA for a while.
Good job catching the things I missed on this one!
OP--Listen to Majic. He knows his stuff. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:24:09 AM | Hey Sassy –
Your main picture is pretty good! Which is rare for most profiles… good job! You have a beautiful smile. The pictures that you have with multiple people should go though. Especially the one where some guy looks like he is grabbing at your crotch! Whew! I was like uhhh… who’s my competition? LOL You get my point I am making though right?
Usually “prefer not to say” is bad. I wish that wasn’t an option to be honest. As a guy looking at that I have to guess if you do or don’t want kids. As a guy that is WAY over having kids, I will never contact anyone that says they want them. Prefer not to say? The same. Undecided/Open or yes or no works best.
You profile text isn’t bad, but I would attempt to get rid of as many sentences that start with “I” as you can. Just reword them.
Over the years I've learned the importance of communication, honesty, and the ability to agree to disagree (not every battle is meant to be won). I've also learned how to step back and LISTEN to what others have to say. It sound simple enough but it is rarely done. It's amazing how much can be learned when you just LISTEN.
It sound simple enough but it is rarely done. – It sounds simple… Add the s there.
Side note: You are an aspiring attorney yet you can agree to disagree? You going to do that in the court room too? If so, I wouldn’t want you as MY lawyer! I understand you are talking about personal relationship and not work… Just had to pick on you.
I think I would completely axe the “YOU SHOULD KNOW:” stuff. It makes you sound VERY unapproachable. You could add a line saying: “If you surprise me with a nice email filled with something unique and creative, you will certainly catch my eye.” Or something to that affect you are telling the reader he WON’T catch your eye with: sup woman, hi, ur sexy, wanna huk up? Emails.
With that said, 90% of the moron guys out here will never read your profile. They will look at the pictures and fire off idiotic emails at random. But don’t give up hope either as there are a few guys that are serious about this. Not many, but a few. You just have to sort through the morons. Read/delete the block user is a great option you have.
Lastly, you have a ton of restrictions on your email settings.
Male
Age between 25 and 49
Live in United States
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
I have almost none on mine. You will open up your options if you remove some of these. And if they are sending out the “wanna huk up” emails, read/delete/block user.
Cheers!
Edit: Hi Ter!! Ya missed out on good fun last night! ;-) | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:27:55 AM | Thanks a lot Terbear!
I really never know what to write but I guess I'm not too far off. I completely agree with you on the "prefer not to say" option but I thought I might be the only one thinking that. I recently changed it from "wants children" but I was afraid men would be scared off. Actually, though, honesty is the best policy. If the person reading my profile is dead set against children I suppose it's better to know up front.
Interesting you should say that my profile is clear, concise and factual. In law school that is exactly what I was trained to do! Need to switch gears here though. I will definitely work on letting my personality shine through.
Thanks for your suggestions. Nothing is too little to mention.
Happy fishing to you as well! | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:32:31 AM | Sassy--Glad to help.  That's why I'm here.
Thanks for the well-wishes, but I've already got my catch (I found him here). So, there is hope! | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:51:06 AM | Majic,
Thanks for the review. I guess 'll get to cropping some of those group pictures. LOL. don't want poeple thinking it ok to grab at my crotch!
I did eliminate some of the restriction...ok only 2 :). the rest I think I'm gonna leave because otherwise it would be a waste of time (don't want to hear from married, drug using, men looking only for intimate encounters that live in Alaska  ). I may be open-minded but I do have my limits. lol.
I think you and Terbear are right on with the "prefer not to say" option so I've changed it.
About the "you should know" section. I really liked what you said. Mind if I use it? it expresses exactly what I want to say only in a nicer, gentler, flirty sort of way.
Thanks a lot!
TerBear, Congrats! Glad you found the right person. It just goes to show there is hope in the world of online dating!  | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:02:23 AM | First, your face and smile in your main picture are absolutely gorgeous. It's in the top 10 best "main picture" images I have seen on this site, literally.
On this one:
"If you email me and I don't respond right away it's probably just because I find e-mailing to be a boring process. I'd rather be out and about. But I'm working on that."
I'd nix the "boring" thing. As a man showing interest in you, I do not want to think getting back to me is boring to you. Reword it. Or just delete it as that's fairly well understood around here.
On this one:
"In other words, if you spend time, effort, and thought into you emails so will I."
We spend time and effort. But I don't think we spend thought. Maybe change "spend" to "invest"? The word "invest" implies a return. Also, change "you" to "your."
You've come off as quite a catch from this profile of yours. Yes, indeed. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:13:43 AM | OP – you are more than welcome hun. You are a beautiful lady and will have good luck here after you sort through the morons. Just like Terbear did. Now all I need to do is somehow become pretty like you guys and maybe I will get a date too!!
Feel free to use that line! Just put the little “TM” dealie and give me credit in your profile k? hehe… just kidding!
In regards to your restrictions, I hear you. I was going to email you directly and spit some hot, hot fire at you… but after you said there “don't want to hear from married, drug using, men looking only for intimate encounters that live in Alaska” I decided not to cuz I really don’t do rejection well.
Good luck to you!!
Cheers! | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:40:16 AM | Just one suggestion - lose all group photos and the one with the guy wrapped around you. There's so many reasons not to post them, and so few good reasons to do so (since these are clearly not the only pictures of yourself you have).
Since you are clearly very selective - and you should be - I would also do searches and the chemistry test and reach out to guys nearby. They love that and will usually respond.
Good luck! | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:44:10 AM | I will tell you for sure that if Majic and I were not so far away from you and so old, you would have two guys fighting over you.
Great profile. All the best to you,
Ron | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:14:09 PM | Problem is, Majic is bigger, younger and much funnier then I am so I would have to find a way to fight dirty.
BTW, good luck with that Law degree. Hope you really like to read and write!!!!
Ron | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:29:15 PM | | Yeah, I would ease up on the restrictions. A lot of us don't even know if the person we are contacting has contacted people who are looking for an intimate encounter. I bet I am guilty of that. I just don't always read everything in the profile. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:10:49 PM | ~grabs chest~
~has the big one... and screams, "I'm comin home Martha!!"~
I am amazed.. OK not really.
OP - It's ALL about the pictures. If the viewer ain't attracted, it really doesn't matter what the hell you type.
Where have I heard that before.... Oh yeah, me.
missdi - That was the first time I have seen a woman admit that she doesn't read everything. I knew y'all didn't already. But the admission was refreshing! Thanks. All this time I have been accusing the men of not being able to read. HAH! The women can't do it either! Well, you guys can probably read, but I am pretty sure that men only look at the pictures.
Cheers! | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:14:15 AM | Sometimes being honest and not cruel is actually easy, as in this case.
1. Lose the shot with Mr. Blurryface draped over you. It is not helping.
2. As an attorney you receive zero latitude for idiosyncratic spelling. "Straightforward" is one word. "Open minded" are two words. Or one word, if you use the optional hyphen.
3. Your closing is the weakest part of your profile by a wide margin. One reading of it has you being very, very banal. Another reading of it is that you're apologizing in advance for rejecting us. We get it, you're hot and you know you're hot-- you told us that in the opening line. But there are less forbidding ways of getting that point across. I would just drop that final paragraph entirely. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:52:31 PM | 1. You're not the 1st to mention that so there is definitely something to that. Thanks.
2. They were not idiosyncratic spellings, they were just misspellings. Unfortunately lawyers can, and do, misspell. That's why we have other people read and re-read our documents (much like I'm doing here) Thanks for pointing them out. I'll will be sure to correct them.
3. I can't much help if my own personal thoughts make me appear to be banal. I'm not really trying to be original. I'm just trying to be ME. So thanks for pointing out that I'm dull and boring (kidding).
Also, the last paragraph is in no way meant as an advance apology for rejecting anyone. It's just a statement that if things don't work out I hold no grudges. In other words, let's just take a chance with no high expectations because things don't always work out and that's fine. I'm inclined to think that a person who reads it as a possible rejection may suffer from a decreased self-esteem and that's not what I'm looking for. In that case, perhaps I'll keep it as a way of weeding them out from the confident men I'm looking for.
Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. Very helpful. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:09:36 PM | | I very much like that last paragraph and have thoughts of stealing it. But then you would sue me for plagiarism I guess. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:35:23 PM | Definitely lose the pic with the guy draped over you. You say you're looking for a serious relationship and guys looking for that would be completely turned off by that pic.
I don't think you should necessarily drop restrictions. I think it says something about your values. You'd probably get fewer responses but they might be better ones. When I see a girl's profile with a lot of restrictions it makes me think she's serious. Some guys might not like that but are you looking for that type of guy?
Wanting to have children is almost never a turn off to guys who want a serious relationship. Usually the opposite. It's not wanting kids that can be the turn off.
I'm a little confused about your job. By your name I thought you were a lawyer. But then I saw you had a masters degree. Then you just list your job as 'legal' which could mean anything from a secretary to a biglaw partner. Just a little confusing. A guy could easily think you were working as a secretary at a law office and trying to gloss over it. Yes, there are plenty of secretaries with masters degrees. This may not seem like a big deal but if a guy contacts you thinking you're a young professional and you turn out to be a secretary he may feel like you were lying/exaggerating and that means you may have done the same with other aspects of your profile as well. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:57:25 PM | | Thanks for the Input mdj21. I have a J.D. but I didn't really see a degree that's really fitting. A Phd is not really the same. I do have an MBA as well so that's the truth. The reason that I have legal as job description is because I have to pass the Bar and be admitted before I can officially call myself a lawyer but for the meantime, I just do lawyer-like work without getting the full credit. It's not at all secretarial work (or even paralegal work for that matter). | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:57:20 AM | Try putting down that you have a graduate degree and you're a law clerk or something like that.
Good luck on passing the bar. I took it last year so have an idea of what you're going through. | |
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| Finally Updated My Profile
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:32:28 AM | I don’t know what the titles might be in the legal profession but law clerk sounds like secretary. I see that you have captioned your cap & gown photo as your graduation from law school but many people do not check the captions. It might be best to state in your “about me” section that you have a law degree and are working as a ____??______ pending passing the bar exam. (something like legal assistant might work there). You sure seem to have what it takes, just need to let those guys understand!!
Ron | |
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