| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:04:01 AM | So I have been "seeing" this guy for a couple months now... we weren't an official couple... but might as well have been. anyway.. so he is religious.. and had talked to me about maybe not having sex anymore and getting to know eachother better first.. but that didn't stay that way.. i would have been fine with it.. even though it would suck.. but ya.. and then we carried on doing what we were doing.... now just a couple days ago he says he just wants to be friends cause he can't get into a relationship right now.. too much shit going on.. and he feels conflicted(withgod) with having sex before marriage and all that... He hadn't bin with a girl in at least a year before me.. by choice mind you... What is going on.. he said he does like me.. just with all the shit going on right now... he doesn't want to bring all this baggage into a relationship... what should I do.. wait for him.. or just forget him... ???? | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:11:59 AM | My experience would say this guy is going through, not a hard time, but a very, very hard time. There's something going on that's got him backing away from an available date ... and it's a very peculiar excuse to say, "not tonight honey, I got a bit of a religious fervor happening tonight."
That doesn't mean run ... he may need sensible friends for now. But you might want to run, because you might not want to get dragged into his issues, which I presume are very deep and potentially disturbing. You also might want to run because he'll be less and less available and you'll be more and more frustrated.
That's my take. Put it in the wild guess category if you like, but I think this guy is very, very conflicted about something. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:12:52 AM | He's got another girl lined up....and..doesnt want to look like a jerk...and thinks you are foolish enough to believe the " with God" nonsence..... | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:17:16 AM |
So I have been "seeing" this guy for a couple months now... we weren't an official couple... but might as well have been.
So, you were FWB.
hehehe, sounds like he found another friend with better benefits! Perhaps one who doesn't have TMJ like you say you have, and can orally service him. Come on Girl, unless he suddenly just became born again, not many guys your age would give up a steady, commitment-free fvck and allege to just want to be friends, unless there was something else going on. Although, has he recently spent time in jail/prison? Because that's when MOST people suddenly find God! 
I reiterate from a similar thread today:
I'm so glad that I raised my daughter to have a healthy self esteem! | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:34:50 AM | If his religious conflict is true and sincere, befriending him without applying sexual pressure could be rewarding -- provided you share similar beliefs or are willing to adopt them.
Unless he is playing you, he's definitely, at best, a babe in Christ, or you wouldn't have gotten him into bed at all.
Regarding your question:
what should I do.. wait for him.. or just forget him... ????
If you have to ask, you're not exactly burning with desire to be with him. And since you can't keep your panties on for longer than two months, you'd better go put another notch on your lipstick case. After all, it's natural. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:35:23 AM | | Did anyone ever consider he may quetioning his moral judgement based upon his beliefs in right and wrong. Somebody stated in a different forum they were tired of all the accusations of behaviors makes em PLAYERS. If he was raised with certain morality, good judgement instilled in him, doesn't mean he always can follow em. So, possibly it is exactly what he indicates. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:36:49 AM | Sweetie,
He got the prize before he finished the Cracker Jack, so of course he is saying let's be friends and all of that sh*t, and bringing religion up as an 'excuse.' Since he is getting it for free, why would he have to pay for it by getting into a relationship? Sorry to be crude, but even dogs know instinctively not to sh*t where they eat, so I'd dump the loser if I were you, because he is not respecting you for the gift you brought him. You deserve way better than sh*tty treatment.
Good luck! | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:38:43 AM | Why have a relationship with a guy who can't enjoy sex without punishing himself about it later? Did he go through this same drama with the last girl he was with? One thing you can be sure of, if he ever gets married it's going to be to a virgin, not you. If you can deal with having him as a friend, great. But I doubt the sexual tension will go away and you'll be a convenient lay if he gets too horny to stay on God's path.
You wanted sex quickly, he wasn't sure if he wanted sex at all. That's a red light right there. My vote? Walk away from the guy. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:40:12 AM | Either he was cheating on your supposed relationship, or has serious head issues. Nobody sleeps around, pulls the abstinence card, then sleeps around with the same person.
Forget him. There's no reason to wait for him while he straightens out his soul issues. He's going to have them his entire life. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:44:30 AM | The poor guy is an emotional trainwreck right now. Struggling with good / evil
Just give him some space till he gets his head on straight. Off support if you wish, but don't guide him in any direction either. He will have to make his own choice. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:49:26 AM | So young... so naive.
I want to tell you... it was soooo sporting of God to give this guy the all-systems-go-thumbs-up sex dispensation so he could take advantage of you and get laid a few times guilt free.
But... being the pious young man of faith (and after he got his fill and needed an excuse to launch you) he suddenly was overcome with religious fervor and guilt for the terrible out-of-wedlock sex and had to let you in on the news.
PA-LEEEEEEZE. Do you fall for it? Looks like you have. Well, you're young.
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:
He wanted to have sex with you.... which he did... relationship free, guilt free. Then he got tired of you and wants to be free to roam and look for more tail without making you feel bad or have you hanging around him patiently waiting for him to announce your togetherness. Doubt me? Just wait, suddenly he'll change his mind when a girl he likes more comes along. He'll either bang her or date her AND bang her. Suddenly, he WAS REALLY ready for a relationship with a girl he thought was hotter.
Note for future: With guys, there is no real mystery. They are not "confused", or "afraid to get hurt" or "taking it really, really slow"... when a guy likes a girl, he'll pounce. Nothing or nobody will stand in his way, sometimes to his detriment (or the ridicule from his buddies). If a guy doesn't do this in your case, he is only into you for a$$ or to pass the time. Bank on it. You're welcome. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:55:07 AM | | Wait if you want, but he's established that he is not capable of taking responsibility for his own actions. He paints himself a religious believer when it suits him, and as a victim of his animal urges when he it suits. Whether he's sincere or not, you should ask yourself if you want to HAVE a relationship with someone who can't decide which head to follow. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:03:22 PM |
Did anyone ever consider he may quetioning his moral judgement based upon his beliefs in right and wrong. Somebody stated in a different forum they were tired of all the accusations of behaviors makes em PLAYERS. If he was raised with certain morality, good judgement instilled in him, doesn't mean he always can follow em. So, possibly it is exactly what he indicates.
OK, you have a valid point and it might fly with me if they had had sex once or twice and then he started to question his own moral judgment. However, OP clearly states that they've been having sex for months. IMO, if the nature of his upbringing had instilled certain religious/moral beliefs in him, I doubt that it would have taken him months to start feeling remorse and questioning his values. Although, maybe OP is dynamite in bed and that's what caused the delay in his conflicted morals?? 
As far as the player accusations go, if it looks like a duck... | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:32:47 PM | If you want to pursue a relationship with a man that bases his understanding of "God" not on the word of any "God" but on that of dozens of men that rewrote, edited, adbridged, censored, and chopped up a tome at aminimum of decades removed from purported events over subsequent centuries you probably shouldn't have "partying" listed as one of your biggest interests. Not trying to be cruel, just succinct.
Great luck to you young lady. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:02:49 PM | You put out and he pulled the God card because it got old.
Believe me if it was all that he would be on his knees thanking him.
Move on and use your head.
LMAO
Unless of course one day he goes back to the DARK SIDE and needs some TLC from you.........
Girl you quack me up...Dark side | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:10:15 PM | So this is the latest excuse for some...........OP, he enjoyed what he had with you (sex), and it's pretty much over. Unless of course one day he goes back to the DARK SIDE and needs some TLC from you.........
No, you do not wait for him. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:10:55 PM | | If you feel you can be only friends with him, then start seeing other guys. If he has deeper feelings for you the fact that you are seeeing other people may change his attatude, but it may not. I think you have the right to your own sexuality even if he chooses to ignore his own due to new religous beliefs he developed presently. Now he just wants to be friends, it says he wants to call off things, however peoples feelings get disppointed after a fairly long run and investment in time. Problem with waiting for someone is you could be waiting for years while your own needs are not being met. You sound like a mature person and know how to cut your losses and move on to someone who may want to continue a relationship than to use religion as a cop out. | |
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| guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:12:10 PM |
so he is religious.. and had talked to me about maybe not having sex anymore and getting to know eachother better first..
"I'm not having sex anymore, I'm not having sex any less..." Gotta love the double standard he has for himself. He has this "no sex before marriage" belief, yet he had it with you and with some other girl before you. He is having sex but hating himself for it instead of enjoying it.
As for "shit going on right now" - people always have something going on. And the older you get, the more stuff is going on at the same time. Would you turn down a good relationship because of that? I don't think so.
But it looks like you have no choise but to accept his proposition and actually take it seriously this time.
I don't recommend waiting for anybody, especially with such vague timelines as "till my life gets better". Life is too short to sit around and wait. | |
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