| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 1:30:03 PM | Just a quick question...In your honest opinion..Can 2 people have a good relationship and still sleep with other people? Im talking like marriage with a little bit on the side. You love someone and want to spend your life with them,but still would like to be able to have sex with someone else if both parties were ok with it. Is this ok?
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 2:49:57 PM | | Without monogamy there is no trust and respect. Why get married at all? Just f your brains out with whoever and don't risk the life of someone you claim to love by screwing around on the side. What is this world coming to? | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 3:16:16 PM | | I've got to say I agree - marriage is supposed to be a commitment to one person. If you don't want the commitment, don't get married. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 3:36:33 PM | | Thats what I thought. Im sure others have opinions..but if you are gonna be committed to one person then BE committed. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 4:42:28 PM | | Nope, definitely not ok! | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 9:11:30 PM | Isn't Monogamy a type of wood?  | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 9:18:58 PM | | How can you say you love each other and go and sleep with members of the opposite sex? That ain't love where I come from, it's sick. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 9:36:53 PM | | Yeah, I think its possible to have a good open marriage. No matter how much you love someone, you'll still want sex with new peolple. It's a fact, and ignoring it is what ruins almost all relationships. Feelings of possesiveness and jealousy are just human, and they're VERY intense, especially if you really love someone. It can be too much. Sometimes just the thought that your partner COULD be cheating is enough to make you say **** it, and cheat yourself. I've cheated, and I've been cheated on. It's a terrible thing to do to someone, impossible to understand until its done to you. I'm only lucky the one i cheated on cheated on me too, and it showed me how it feels, how low it is, ya know. Eventually, we talked about it, were REALLY honest about our feelings, who we wanted to screw, why we cheated, why we thought it was okay, and most importantly, how we could cheat on someone we love so much, and how we each thought the other one would never cheat, while we were out doing it. We were much closer than ever after this, and the sex became absolutly incredible. Eventually, we started having 3 somes and gang bangs with our friends. Weird, I know, but these are everyone's fantasies, and we liked to fulfill each others fantasies. I'm not sure, but I don't think anyone's fantasy is to sleep with the same person for the rest of their life, although finding someone who would olny sleep with you for life is probobly everyone's fantasy. And of course its over now, but we had a blast, and made the best of a bad situation. I've learned a lot, and I see the positives of BOTH an open relationship and a monogomous one. Monogomy can be wonderful. And openess can be the best way to really know how the one you love really feels and thinks. But every relationship is fragile, either way. I still wonder, Can love really be for life? | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 10:01:26 PM | | ok this is a fun thread .. thanks .. I just happen to be an adult film performer .. ie "porn star" .. and you know what there is a huge HUGE difference between making love to the one you truely love and sex ... because i know 2 people can love each other and have sex, the 2 of them together with another person .. ie threesome.. and still have no emotional issues.. they are just exploring their own personal sex lives by inviting some other uh .. for lack of a better word "toy" into their play time .. that can be fun .. if the situation is one that is secure and the trust is really flowing .. lol .. porn is totally different .. TOTALLY .. it is just work .. truely and whole heartedly for me for example is just work .. and thank god for stuff like viagra and stuff .. lol | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 10:32:16 PM | What better way to undermine & destroy an existing relationship?
I'd say someone is awfully confused. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 10/24/2004 11:29:49 PM | Well if you two can make it work, then great.
If not, then sh*t happens. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/1/2004 9:20:07 PM | Nope. It does not work! Trust me. When my ex told me she wanted other women in the picture I was excitied. It was fun while it lasted and I thought it was ok. We are now happily divorced and don't speak. The divorce went smooth because it was mutual. Even after the divorce I would have said there was nothing wrong with what we did. However...... I met a wonderful young lady and would never want to share her, she feels the same way.
Really loving someone means not having a desire for anyone else. Looking back I realize my marriage was not love driven and I am happy to be in a relationship now that is. There is no other way to go than managomy if love is the goal. | |
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LadyO
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Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/1/2004 9:25:16 PM | Most likely to repeat many replies here.
But I do not believe that all parties will be satisfied in a non-monogamous relationship. Even those who are into the "swingers" lifestyle have been known to become jealous of their mates other interests.
If you want to have casual sex, why get married? Getting married is a commitment, an expression of your love to your partner. To go out and have sex with other people is really just spitting on that procclomation of commitment and love you have made before God, or whatever spirituality you believe in.
I believe in monogamy. In fact, it's one of the few things that I am -VERY- strict about. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/2/2004 10:19:48 AM | What better way to undermine & destroy an existing relationship?
I'd say someone is awfully confused.
I'm with Ticket on this one. I don't care if you are a porn star or not, I sure wouldn't be the other woman. Can't think of anything that is more of a turn off, let alone trusting someone who thinks like that to be trust worthy at all.
Statistics show these relatationships hit the skids. It's hard enough keeping a one on one relatationship going, why make it all the harder.
If a guy asked me to have an open relationship, the only opening he'd see is the door before it slammed behind him. | |
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LadyO
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Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 15 | |
| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/2/2004 10:22:16 AM | | I'm totally with you Georgie! | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/2/2004 8:09:22 PM | HEFTYMON YOU COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER PROBABLY BECAUSE I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT..
I HAVE ALWAYS FELT AND KNOWN THAT I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE IN MY HEART THAT THE PERSON I DECIDE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH WILL NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO ABSORB ALL OF MY LOVE IN A LIFETIME....HOW COULD ONE EVER STRAY OR EVEN MARRY A PERSON WHO WASNT THERE TRUE ONE AND ONLY....
I GUESS YOU JUST KNOW WHEN ITS RIGHT....
ITS KIND OF LIKE YOUR FAVORITE PAINTING.. EVERYDAY THINGS ABOUT THAT PERSON GET MORE AND MORE BEAUTIFUL... THAT FRECKLE BY THEIR EAR IS LIKE THAT BEAUTIFUL BRUSH STROKE IN YOUR FAVORITE PAINTING....
OK ENOUGH OF THE SHARK BEING SAPPY | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/2/2004 8:20:34 PM | | There do exist many swinger couples that are happily married... perhaps it is not having sex with only your significant other that is the most important thing to keep the relationship together, but trust, understanding, and clear communication. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/2/2004 8:26:59 PM | | I would have to think that swinger couples are not happily married. I agree with Limo, if two people are in love it should take the lifetime to discover eachother. Why risk disease, conflict or anything else that can happen if your so happy with your partner? | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/2/2004 8:29:28 PM | i am a very sexual person, I am a scorpio also known as the most sexual,......
and I love sex and every crazy thought that has to do with it..... But when it comes to finding a man I love i cant fathum being with anyone else....
I was single long enough experimented but i got what I need, and i couldnt be happier... If i ever saw or knew another woman was touching the love of my life there would be no more relationship.
but thats just me | |
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 20 | |
| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/3/2004 12:18:53 AM | I dunno...maybe getting married should be outlawed until you are 65+. At least you won't spend 50 years with the same person, over and over and over....
Remember people...the plural of spouse is spice...live a little!!! Things get stale afterwhile. Then people grow apart. Stay together IF YOU CAN...and if that means going out having sexual fun elsewheres...be dang careful!
As long as it is consensual between two or more adults...NOBODY ELSE HAS AN OPINION ON IT! (or at least one that counts...) | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/4/2004 5:44:42 PM | | Anyone ever notice the part in the marriage ceremony where it says foresaking all others? Well, I believe a committed relationship must have monogamy going on. I personally don't want to share the person I love in intimacy with anyone else. So, I believe it is needed and being unfaithful, or wanting to be with someone else destroys relationships. If you are tired of being with the same person in the same way, spice it up. Different ways, different positions, different places, different toys, Kama sutra anyone? But, spice it up with the one you love... not a stranger. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/4/2004 5:56:46 PM | | I think it can happen. just have to be wise about who you pick but there are no for sure things in a realtionship. i think one of the reason today we have so much problums is because people , one put them selfs first, know they have the option to get out, and media protrays it as ok, they dont have morals or GOD in there life. in the days of old it was hard to get a diviorce so you had to make it work and find common ground. now love is like a car drive it until it breaks down then trade it in for a new model.. sad times we live in. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/7/2004 7:38:13 AM | | It is nice to read so many accounts from people interested in monogamy. Why is it so rare then? More than half of all marriages will end in divorce and of those that continue, how many survived an infidelity. I believe that a close sexual relationship with someone has a spiritual as well as a physical component. Any time one chooses to have sex with another, there will be a spiritual consequence. The interesting thing to me is that the adrenaline rush of the new or taboo conquest, while very addictive and very exciting, would pale with the experience of decades of a dedicated, exclusive, love-led relationship with a single person. I have no greater pursuit than to wake up one morning down the road next to a soul that I have known for 40 or 50 years and to know that we have honored a committment to be true to one another. That is a life experience worth more than any number of one-night-stands, threesomes, etc. that one could dream up. | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/7/2004 8:29:45 AM | | Sweety you are talking about Swinging. A guy I used to date was a swinger big time, he never brought me into it but he had been doing it in the past. They have special clubs that they go to to meet other couples. Its not for me but if thats what you are interested in then do what u feel right? | |
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| Monogamy??
Posted: 11/7/2004 8:48:36 AM | None could have said it better than you did, Familyman.
Because it is so rare, that special Forever bond is what
makes the journey of life worthwhile. | |
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