| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:13:11 PM | He says he loves her. She ponders the meaning when so many actions have spoken loudly the contrary.
He says he loves her but fondles the breasts of teenage girls at work simply because she dared him to...saying he "didn't have to guts to grab her breasts".
He says he loves her, but he calls her from work simply to tell her of the "GOOD THINGS" he has to look at while he is checking out other women. He has nothing else to say but she hears a slight giggle in the background...who might that be she wonders while trying had to understand why he would call her, his wife, and tell her that he is checking out other women?
He says he loves her as he wistfully tells her of "the one who got away" and how very special the girl was to him. How the girl's mother and the girl's family took him in and made him part of their family. He even tried to name their daughter after the girl's mother.
He says he loves her as he actively seeks someone to "play with" outside their marriage. Telling her that it is just for sex..then he is going to spend as much time with "them" as he wants and she has no say...and then he is going to be long time friends with them...and then again "it's just for sex"...but he is going to cuddle with them and do other activities outside of the bedroom with them, yet he turns her down for sex constantly, neglects her needs a lot and is going to take what little she gets and spend that time with another woman...and laughs as she cries herself to sleep at night...laughs as she begs and pleads with him to be faithful to her and to LOVE her...oh but he loves her.
He says he loves her but yells at her when she calls him at work and asks him to come home immediately after work because she and his baby daughter had been in a car accident. He had plans to go Christmas shopping after work and she wants him to come home? How dare she ask him to come home when he had shopping to do? He then goes on to berate her, accusing her of deliberately ruining his plans the week before because her daughter had a sudden idea to spend time with him after school and he had plans with a teenage girl he use to work with whom he had planed to spend the day with alone in their home smoking marijuana together while he is taking care of their baby daughter and she is at work for the day. Not once did he ask if she was ok, or if his daughter was ok.
He says he loves her....as he tells her it is not his fault that she feels the way that she feels. it is not his fault that the things he says or does makes her feel bad. After all she is the one who chose to feel that way, he had no part in it whatsoever...it was her choice to feel that way. Apparently no one can make you feel anything you don't want to feel.
He says he loves her as he writes notes to his ex girlfriend whom he had not spoken to for nearly a year. No contact until he began dating her and then all of a sudden this need to be "friends with the ex". He of course makes sure to tell her that he is talking to the ex and that the ex would like to send a gift to her unborn child.
He says he loves her as he saunters in 3 hours late from work to his loving frantic wife who had been waiting for hours to surprise him with a romantic evening. He tells her that he had been out for "coffee" with some girl that he worked with and that he was not allowed to call from work as it was long distance. he later tells her that he didn't want to call her, he didn't feel she needed to know that he was going to be late on a winter evening when there had been many many tragic car accidents in the past weeks on the very roads he travels to and from work. of course she is not suppose to worry when her husband decides not to come home because he is wooing some girl he works with...how dare she worry, how dare she be upset. he just laughs at her and says "aren't you going to ask me if I had a good time at coffee?" Laughs at her for her fit of rage, the terror that something had happened to him pouring out of her like sour milk, anger that he again did not care how his actions and thoughtlessness affected her, relief that he was ok, wanting desperately to knock him on his smug ass, hurt from his cold laughter; his content that he had done no wrong; his cool heatless demeanour as he again told her it is her fault for feeling this way not his doing not his problem; and the amusement he derived from her tears tore through her like a hot blade though butter.
She is not blameless...she wrote to the ex girlfriend and befriended her. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
She got extremely emotional on a regular basis and talked to him about his behaviour and how it made her feel. She questioned him on things he didn't wish to answer and got angry with him when he would give her sarcastic answers that brushed her off and made her feel worthless.
While insanely intoxicated she wrote an e-mail to the "one that got away" and asked her how she got away...and why. She confessed this to her husband, showed him everything and apologized to him. He got angry with her, they fought, he broke down in tears. Were the tears for her...no they were more so for the words that "the one who got away" had used to reply to her and explain how and why she got away.
She spent a good majority of her pregnancy crying and feeling worthless and making sure that he knew it. She would ask him questions and try to get serious answers out of him. she would chase him and hound him for answers and some semblance of how their life was going to be...some idea of what he expected of her. She drove him crazy with her behaviour trying to get some sense of reassurance that "HE LOVED HER" to make all this crazy behaviour make sense.
She made a plan to go out for coffee with her ex boyfriend in hopes of getting some reaction from him, something that said he didn't want to lose her. The ex, who had always been a friend and should never have been more and was only more very briefly, was in on the rouse as he wanted to see his dear friend happy and believed she was with the wrong man for her. Needless to say it didn't go as she had hoped and though she knew it before hand that it was a bad idea...it seemed like a last ditch attempt to make something happen to show him how he made her feel and possibly inflict some fear that he might lose her so that maybe he would appreciate her...no so much.
She felt and acted jealous of women, all other women, anyone who he would look at or talk to... she knew that woman might be the one he cheats on her with.
She acts crazy...she talks crazy...she is jealous and that is crazy...she loves him, that is crazy.
Look at all the things he had to put up with being with her... He said he loves her... | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:45:56 PM |
Sounds like your both perfect for one another.....Lucky you~~
Sometimes when we don't have nothing nice to say to someone, we shouldn't say anything at all...
OP: Sorry to hear about your pain...I went threw a Lying relationship and those words "I LOVE YOU" are that just words!!!
If this man, a husband, a father cared and Loved you he would not do such things to you...it's called "RESPECT"
I live out your way...message me if you need a support friend. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:33:26 AM | That is just wrong on so many levels! I don't know where to start!!
Sounds like you don't want anyone's opinion on this - looks like you are just writing it all down to vent your feelings.
If you allow someone to treat you this way then they will, and they will keep on doing. He is having his cake and eating it from what you have told us and it also sounds like he gets great pleasure from hurting you. Why the hell would you stay with someone like that? I guess your self esteem is so low now that you think he is the best you can get? But I am wasting my breath here - nothing anyone can say will help you in this situation, you have to help yourself.
But then maybe you don't want help? Maybe you are one of those women who enjoy the attention when people feel sorry for you? | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:40:28 AM | It sounds like he really hates her!
There are men around who get off on hurting the one who loves them
deliberately. They are sadistic. All you can do is leave and never look back. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:07:56 AM | | I say you like drama or walk away. Who needs to be in this type of setting? Gawd. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:24:27 AM | I'm really not sure what I was seeking by writing this all out. Opinion I suppose.
This type of behavior has stopped after we had a huge fight and I was going to leave him. But when we spoke the other night about what we had overcome and how our life was better now. He didn’t understand how it was better now; he didn’t think that he had put me though anything more than what he had to endure from my reactions to the situation. I’m not excusing my behavior, I should have left rather than putting myself through that and lowering myself to acting as undignified as I have.
I'm not sure how to feel anymore. I guess I just needed to spell it out and see if others thought it was equal behaviour as well? | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:57:57 AM | Yeah, sometimes just writing it out helps to put an order to lots of things that are floating around in our minds.
I hope the behaviour has stopped, but it seems like he had been doing this to you for quite a while, and I hope he is able to change. Be vigilant.
You obviously didn't react too well, but most of us don't when we are stressed. Don't be overly harsh on yourself. Just make sure you are never in a position where you feel you have to act like that. You can control your own behaviour, you can't control his.
On a brighter note, you guys kind of remind me of Sid and Nancy.
Peace | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:27:15 AM | | **puts hands together and prays** Please God, help me to avoid a man such as this! | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:49:29 AM | You didn't believe your mother when she said, "Actions speak louder than words"?
I hope you come to a place where you *believe* you deserve better. That way you can teach your daughter to choose more wisely than you did. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:16:43 PM | Umm, wow.
Serious counseling ASAP or separate ASAP. Nothing is going to get better on the track you are on now. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:59:23 PM | OP~
Clearly, she in your Opost/story -- or, you, it turns out in a later post -- has married a Sociopath/NPD. Research/Google; you will find it is not curable.
Get tested for STD's, and get yourself, and your child, out NOW.
At the very least, move your child out of the home, if you feel you can't be responsible enough to get you both out as of yesterday.
Perhaps you still need time to do the research to begin to wrap your head around the fact that with NPD, they do not FEEL love... they CAN'T... and, you will die, and sell your child's soul out, trying.
Stop the destructive behavior from your end, by controlling yourself.
Mind, folks:
I say all of this in HOPE that this isn't a mere Pity/Attention/I'm an Unwilling Victim/Martyr (puke) thread, and that there's real possibility of helping this OP by recognizing that to one that is genuinely mired with an NPD -- posting a thread, publicly, and candidly, spilling her guts -- would/could be the first sign of genuine effort to take on the hell of getting away, and out, from under an NPD... which DOES need, and require, all the support in the world, to succeed.
Before I go so much as one keystroke further: Which are you, OP -- Genuine, or Troll?
_______________________________________________________
Dammit!... asked, and answered (TROLL), when I should have waited until I had time to read the thread more carefully to know better then to even ASK, never mind waste time typing. My bad. Just went through the thread again, and caught your last post this time. SO...
EDIT: Oh, Hell NO! Your reason for posting that puke was to ask opinions concerning does it seem to anyone else if you, and your husband are on an equal playing field, with an even score - of who can shit on the other the deepest, and win?! ... WTF :mad:
Somebody, anybody, Get that CHILD OUT NOW !
EPIC f'ing FAIL 
*** THREAD OUT *** | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:27:11 PM | | Actually thank you sparkling rose..I'd always seen those traits but had no idea there was a reason for them other than him being a selfish a$$hole. I'm not sure what you're edited part is suppose to mean with all the "puke" but thank you for some direction. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:14:03 PM | Dayum skippy, my mouth dropped open like a cheap suit case reading all of this.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy..............whew
There is plenty of drama going on here. I think you need to get therapy alone and so does he. This is a very toxic relationship from what you described.
The odds of this working well are about the same as Whoopi Goldberg winning the Miss Universe pageant.
Get counseling and some insight into your situation. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:43:00 PM |
I guess I just needed to spell it out and see if others thought it was equal behaviour as well?
Frankly I just skimmed this and to be totally honest these words grabbed me the most. Why does it matter if the behavior is equal it is all abusive.. Two wrongs don't make a right.
My advice like others is to get some theraphy ASAP for yourself, your child. Then worry about saving the abusive relationship if that is what you want to do. Before you decide ask yourself this one question would you want your child to go through any of this if the answer is no the do something because they are learning life's coping skills right now. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:42:09 AM | This whole deal is so full of D R A M A and B U L L S H I T, I don't even know where to begin.
Sounds to me like the person you are with is a real sick pedophile if he is grabbing the breasts of teenagers at work. - which would make him wide open for a sexual harassment lawsuit. which I am sure would be humiliation at its finest.
OP, do you really want to be with someone like that? - and also hearing him tell you constantly how much he loves his ex?? or current flame on the side? - which is it? ex or side dish? do you yourself even know????
Why would you want to subject yourself to that crap???? It's totally beyond my comprehension.........unless you are a masochist. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:21:20 PM | OP, just read your profile and "freak magnet" sounds like an apt description of you.
As you know the definition of insanity, then I will tell you that you are insane to stay in this relationship for one more second. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:12:30 AM | | He sounds like a despicable loser and she sounds like a whiny baby that needs to grow up, grow a set and kick his ass to the curb instead of whining about how he mistreats such a good woman. He will never change and she's going to grow old waiting for him to. I feel sorry for the children. | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/11/2009 6:25:08 PM | Let's do it all together.. Said to the commercial jingle of MeowMix
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL
Arent you people feeling a little sheepish now? I could tell this was a troll when the 2nd paragraph begans just like the first.
hahahahahhahahahahah.. aint these forums GRAND? | |
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| He says he loves her...
Posted: 11/11/2009 7:14:28 PM | Love should for the most part feel good.......obsession is as bad as any other addiction...it is you wanting the worst thing for you......
You know this inside already - I am sure......dodge a bullet and leave this guy for a good therapist! | |
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