| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:54:44 PM | I sent a message to a girl and she sent one back. We exchanged a couple more. In one of them she asked for more pictures, because she couldn't see my face well in my profile pic. I sent them. By the time I sent them, she had already asked if I wanted to chat with her on AIM and asked for my screen name. I sent my screen name and told her that I would love to talk to her but I couldn't that night because I was busy.
A few days passed and I didn't here from her so I sent her a message telling her when I would be available this week and saying that I hoped to hear from her. I still have not heard from her at all.
The way I read this situation is that she probably saw my pictures, decided that she wasn't attracted to me, and therefore decided that it would be best not to chat with me. Does that seem right? Or do you think she is maybe just busy?
Additionally, is there anything I can do (i.e. send her another message) to get some sort of a reply (even if it just confirms what I already think) or should I leave well enough alone and move on.
I feel pretty sure that I should just do the latter but I want to give it a chance because I was very interested in this girl. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:55:55 PM |
The way I read this situation is that she probably saw my pictures, decided that she wasn't attracted to me, and therefore decided that it would be best not to chat with me. Does that seem right?
You are a smart young lad...Now don't waste one more second on this girl!! | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:12:32 PM | | Go with your gut buddy.....NEXT~~~~move on down the line....dont cry over this one... | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:07:07 PM | | Why not just log in to AIM and see if she contacts you. Could be that she's been busy, could be that she finds you unattractive - only one who really knows is her. Having said that, if she was REALLY interested, she probably would have made an effort to contact you, but logging into AIM couldn't hurt, and who knows..... | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:27:13 PM | You sent her your screen name. You told her when you would be available. Either she is very busy, or she is no longer interested. The reason doesn't matter. Don't contact her again. Nothing is creepier than a guy who seems needy or desperate.
If she does contact you, I would think very carefully before replying. Unless she was run over by a bus and has been in a coma all this time, she was rude to not reply. If she was no longer interested, she should have told you. But very few people on here have the maturity to do that, even people my age. You deserve better. I would forget about her.
Good luck. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:57:16 PM | | I would send one last message wanting to touch base with her since you have not spoken to her in a bit. That message should be the last message you send her as, if she does not respond to that one, now you should get the message. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:03:37 PM | | I've been logged into AIM during the evening each day for a few days now. Nothing. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:04:54 PM | | I think you are right, *lilacwine*. Obviously she's not the one for me if this is happening. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:02:36 PM | | Let me offer this advice as a fellow dude of the same age range. Guys at our age will have MUCH more success meeting women in person than we will online. Young people are social... they like to be seen in social settings and are attracted to people who can display a certain level of comfort in a social setting. I created my profile on this site a few months ago after haveing my heart destroyed by a beautiful girl who I had been with for just over a year who I though was going to end up being the love of my life. I created this profile to reintroduce myself to talking to girls because it had just been a while. I contacted a few girls and got some responses. More than anything I just regained some confidence. Then I started getting out and talking to girls out in the real world... and I'll tell ya man... out there, it's not about your looks or your car or whatever... its all confidence and swagger. Not in a conceited way, but women like a self aware man who displays confidence... and to be able to walk up and strike up and maintain an intelligent conversation with a beautiful stranger shows some of that to them... messages from a keyboard not so much. Just my two cents. take it or leave it. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:19:42 PM | | I think there is a certain nugget of truth there but the reason why I am here is because I have not had much success in the real world. I'm trying to broaden the pool of potential women. Unlike you, I've never had a girlfriend before or anything so it is a little different. It's not that I haven't tried to date, but it just hasn't worked out. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:47:26 PM | | I wish you luck man. But I would still say, just give it a shot. Go out to a bar with a couple buddies, have a couple drinks, find a girl you think is cute, walk up to her and just say "Hey, hows it going?" She will undoubtedly say hi back and then just say "can I sit here and buy you a drink?" Its like my buddy told me about the second or third time we went out after the break up and I hadn't talked to anyone... "What the hell man? Anyone of them could be yor future wife." Its true. Seriously though... good luck man. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:55:33 PM | | You seem to be pretty smart having figured it out that she has lost interest. Time to move on. Don't let not having a GF before bother or deter you, we all had to start somewhere, some guys later than others. Don't forget that everybody comes with some kind of history, and some of that may be unresolved, but again don't let that bother you. You can only be the best at being you and nobody else. Hang out with your friends, go out with your buddies and have fun, you're sure to run to packs of young women who are just as nervous and shy as you. PRACTICE talking with some of them so that you get comfortable with approaching them later in life & hey, bonus points for getting lucky. Ya just never know if you don't try. =D | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:37:07 PM | | Full disclosure (and we're veering somewhat off topic by now), I am fine talking to girls but I usually end up being the friend. That's probably because it takes me a while to let my guard down. It's something I'm working on improving and it has gotten better but it just terrifies me to think about approaching a woman I've never met before in a bar. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:54:41 PM | | Of course you're scared. It takes practice. The first few times is gonna be terrifying. But with some practice it'll get easier and then one day its just no big deal. They're just people. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:40:11 AM | | Maybe take it out of the bar scene atmosphere, OP; and, try to meet someone through an interest of yours: Literature -- book club? Political -- Debate club? More comfortable an atmosphere for you, since there's already a shared interest. Comfort zone = less terrifying. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:10:24 AM | Ridiculous humor is the only thing I can think of that would get me to turn back to someone who'd lost my interest.
OP, you're adorable and have a great profile. She's a fool to miss out on you, but I suspect she's already gone.
You'll find another in whom you'll be "very interested." I promise! | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:58:56 AM | Go about your business as if. You can't force a response out of anyone anymore than you can make them feel things for you that they just don't feel. Believe it or not, there are girls out there that make their business their top priority and don't sit by the computer or their telephones waiting to chat with you.
If she answers you, great. If not, oh well. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:48:26 PM | | I fully believe that there are girls that make their business their top priority BUT she asked to chat with me not the other way around. I may well be clueless but I'm certainly not delusional. | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:05:56 PM | It's ok, OP, although it's a bit baffling to you I'm sure.
Try not to take her disappearance personally. I know... seems a done deal that her disappearance is directly related to you having sent additional pics, but for all you know she's got 5 different guys on the line, and she's caught up in flitting around.
If she was worth getting to know, she would have at least dropped you a note to say that she's is/been busy, or whatever her excuse/reason is/was for poofing. Never know. Could be she'll just suddenly out-of-the-blue, poof back online, and try to pick up from where she's left off with you, as if.
IMO, she's a flake. Is that what you're interested in dating? Didn't think so... :o)
Hang in there, and better luck in future...  | |
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| What Do I Do Now? Anything?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:54:48 PM | | Send one last message. If she doesn't go for it, move on. If she goes for it, but pulls anything questionable in the future, it's means you're just her back burner guy. If she likes you, she'll never do this again. | |
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