| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:06:53 PM | | Im just curious because a friend of mine told me that men were intimidated by me. I have a strong personality, but a soft side too. I would think men would want someone who can take care of themselves, and not be too clingy. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:18:53 PM | ....do a thread search on "intimidated"....no guys are not intimidated by BBWs, independent, etc.
Your profile is a HUGE RED flag....considering your introduction is a rant about not needing a man....
My take is this talk is code for being disrespectful and bossy towards a guy....both genders need to feel appreciated and needed to some extent....(not needy).... | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:19:58 PM | I dont think so, I actually think its attractive. I think the line in the sand comes when independent becomes not-around. Youve gotta balance it, if he's your man, you've got to be his woman.
edit:
Just to add to what everyone said, a giant "girl power" wall-o-words just tends to make the eyes bleed and will scare most guys away. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:20:38 PM |
I would think men would want someone who can take care of themselves, and not be too clingy.
When would you think this?
You're intimidating only because you're closed off intellectually. I haven't looked at your profile but you're what, 25 and already decided you know all about it?
This soft side of yours, so what must one do to see it, make all the concessions whilst you tap your foot impatiently and then finally decide to give a little? How many years must someone know you to experience your softness?
Could it be that it is you whom is in fact intimidated by the world at large?
Arrogance is often confused for strength by those asserting it, in fact this is immaturity so some people can handle you okay they'd just have to play you a bit, what this post is going to do is test your patience and fortitude. Let's see how strong you actually are.
So are you strong, or just arrogant?
Your ball. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:21:37 PM | And b!tchyness. And being told how independent someone is.
Guess what. I'm independent too. Not really a big deal. I hope at our age, most people have their shit together.
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:41:04 PM | You seem kind of full of yourself, at least that's the impression your profile gives.
(messages this short may not be posted.) | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:47:30 PM | Read this:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13309466.aspx
You'll get pages and pages of responses on the question you posed. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:49:40 PM | | No not at all, but that big wall of text is a GINORMOUS no-no, defensiveness is NOT the same thing as "independence." From what little I read of it, it was enough to close it promptly, and move on to the next one... There's nothing wrong with having a strong personality, it just needs to be balanced with positive reasons why you are that way. Remember, a profile is supposed to "hook" someone, not drive them away with your emotional baggage and a laundry list of what you do not need in your life, because if you are, you are just wasting your time here. You need to solve the "you" part of the equation before you can find "him" because you are setting unrealistic expectations and yourself up for disappointment and failure. If I were you, I'd let a really good friend that knows you well take a stab at writing a more reasonably balanced profile. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:03:59 PM | Women who consistently leave a wide range of men feeling intimidated often have overly inflated egos masking easily identifiable insecurities. That is usually solved when they reap their karmic reward by falling for a guy deeply who then dumps them and makes them finally realize for the first time that they aren't actually Royalty.
Not saying that's the case with you. Just sayin'.
You wouldn't intimidate me.
Run spell check on your profile text. Look up the word "paragraph" and apply the knowledge you gain.
You're confused a bit in your self-expression:
FROM YOUR PROFILE: "I am not looking for and do not need someone to take care of me, .... I do want a man that when Im having a really bad day,can sense it without me having to tell him, and tuck my hair behind my ear and say its ok baby."
So you don't want someone to take care of you, but you want someone to take care of you. Got it. Um, which is it, Darlin'?
If your profile is any indication of your In Real Life shield against men, I'd say you need to nourish your softer, more womanly traits and reserve the "I am woman, hear me roar" demeanor for all the rest of the men who want you after you've already landed your "can't live without" guy. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:09:39 PM | I agree with Deborah and zazenboy. You do come across as arrogant and full of yourself (even if you didnt intend it).
As zazen said, the purpose of a profile is to attract people, not turn them off. Strong personalities are fine in the right context but if you're trying to meet a guy I would concentrate more on presenting the softer side you say you have.
Not meaning to insult you... just being honest.
Good luck... | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:10:33 PM | Wow. I just read your profile, and I can tell you this much. I woud definitely know in 30 seconds that I would not care for you too much. You do not come across as independent or self assured at all but more as self entitled. A self proclaimed Prima Donna. You make it very clear that you do not need a man, I will let you in on a little secret, most men like to feel needed. The read I get on you is that you got used to getting your way at a very early age working your looks.. Probably have to be the center of attention were ever you are. Probably have a string of duped male BFF's, who you let believe they are on the cusp of being the ONE, to feed your ego (One that big, has to be hungry all the time)
I think you have you words wrong, Most men will not be intimidatedby you, most likely, turned off.
Your profile is your bait here in the pond, don't know what you plan on catching here.
Happy fishing  | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:13:11 PM | They are not intimidated by independent women but turned off by repeated proclamation of independence. You are both independent individuals, but for some reason some women feel the need to restate it. Besides, you can't be in a relationship and completely independent at the same time.
from OP profile:
<div class='quote'>
I am not looking for someone I CAN live with...Im looking for someone I CANT live without.
What you described sounds like looking for co-dependence. I see the independence differently. If you're independent, you CAN live without anyone, but you may choose to live with someone who you CAN live with. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:24:32 PM | "They are not intimidated by independent women but turned off by repeated proclamation of independence. You are both independent individuals, but for some reason some women feel the need to restate it. Besides, you can't be in a relationship and completely independent at the same time."
Here's a woman that actually get it. Don't mistake self absorbtion for "independence." | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:32:21 PM | Intimidated? Probably not. However, a lot of people (of either sex) are repelled by others with strong (AKA obnoxious) personalities.  | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:33:21 PM | OP
If being independent means self-sufficiency, able to think on your own without needing a man to tell you how to decide on things, have strong views on important matters, then, no, that is not intimidating to men in general.
Proclaiming independence is too much on the side of "Talking the talk" too much, and the more you proclaim it, the greater the expectation of "walking the walk" that men will expect.
There's a lot to be said for "Speak softly but carry a big stick." The "big stick" in this case says that action is louder than words, which in some cases, is nothing more than BS. | |
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| Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:57:18 PM | | Yes men like a woman that can take care of themselves and not too clingy. But most women today are capable of that. Showing your soft side I would think is what would be attractive, leave the strong stuff when it is needed, you dont have to prove to anyone your strength till you need it. | |
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