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 Author Thread: assistance please :)
assistance please :)
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:41:07 PM
Hey All,

I guess I'm here asking for a profile review.
I have been on here for a month or so....and have been extremely unsuccessful...haven't had many replies.
I am hoping the reason I haven't had many replies is because of my profile and not because of me :)

any tips and suggestions would be greatly appreciated
 james421

Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 2
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assistance please :)
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:54:38 PM
The thumbnails on your pics show a card and a guy at a table I would redo them so the thumbnail shot is of your face some people don't click on each individual shot so you want to make sure they see you. List some of your hobbies things you like to do what kinds of sports, stuff like that. What are you looking for in a potential partner. Just some ideas good luck man.
assistance please :)
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:28:29 PM
I took your advice and added some better picture and added some more interests.
I hope this makes it look a little better :)
 SeekAdventure25

Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 4
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assistance please :)
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:37:59 PM
You need more than just one close up shot of you.

Your interests are horrible. "You?" Come on... And"fun stuff?" Looks like you ha;f-assed that section completely.


Well...I am not sure what to write here.

*Click* next profile. "He had nothing to say, no substance, so why bother?


My friend joined this site and said it was interesting so I thought I'd give it a shot; how else am I supposed to meet someone?

Great, so you have no social life, real attractive. Don't say things like this!


I am a easy going guy, very laid back, nice, I have a fun sense of humor.
Now all you have to say is that you're "down to earth" and you'll sound like every other guy on this site!


I work full time, if you are interested in what I do, feel free to ask.

At your age you're already expected to be working full time, so don't talk about it. Delete this.


I like playing sports, watching sports,
I like playing and watching sports.

So much so that you said it twice.


Big Canuck fan, also a fan of Football, CFL and NFL. I am a big MMA fan, notice I didn't say big UFC fan, I enjoy the sport of Mixed Martial Arts.
I play basketball, I do Kickboxing, I love playing street hockey but it is so difficult to get all the guys together to play.

Very dry.


I like all movies...except for horror, I'll admit it, I am a big baby :)

A one sentence paragraph is not worth including.


I'm always up for anything, because anything can be fun if you are with the right people.
See, this sounds a lot better than "how else am I supposed to meet someone?" See the difference? But then again....it's a lonely sentence...


I'm not sure what else to say, so feel free to ask me anything.

This is code for: I'm too lazy to figure out a creative way of showing myself so I want you to do the work" <---- not attractive.


Take a look at the profile writing tips at the top of this forum in green font. Think of some things to say that you know a woman would like to see about you, show yourself off a bit, and approach your profile with a goal in mind. Redo it all.
 You go first

Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 5
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History
assistance please :)
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:10:26 PM
It seems like you've taken some of the suggestions already. Good!

The opening still needs to be sharper. You get about 4 seconds to engage your viewers' imagination.

This is what you have now:

My friend joined this site and said it was interesting so I thought I'd give it a shot.
I am a easy going guy, very laid back, nice, I have a fun sense of humor..


why not instead...

Yes, I'm the guy that will let you into my lane during rush hour and not flip you off. Can't find exact change at the Express Checkout? Allow me... Life's too short to let the little things get your blood pressure up! ... or something like that. Give little examples instead of writing a list of qualities.
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