| looking to fine tune my proflle
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:33:10 PM | Im trying to whip my profile into something much more effective then what it currently is.
any and all help would be greatly appreciated
thanks | |
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| looking to fine tune my proflle
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:46:14 PM | So you're an aircraft tech but you only have a high school diploma?
New pics. Of you smiling.
Delete everything after the first paragraph. Create an opener, and a close, and add 2 more paragraphs in between.
Create a real first date.
And no more poetry at the end | |
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| looking to fine tune my proflle
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:57:29 PM | Your pictures are horrible. The main one is 80% of your profile. The girl will click on it or pass it by. It needs to be a nice clear, good lighting picture with a smile - which I am doubting you can pull off at this point.
Your profile text is brutal. I, I, I, I, I is all I saw. And more importantly? All SHE will see. Why don't you spend some time and talk about you and what you like to do in complete sentences. JUST like you should have learn in 4th grade.
You say nothing about what you are looking for in a woman. You trying to make them GUESS? Girls online have the power. If you don't get that one now, kill your profile and go out into the real world and get lucky the old fashioned way.
"i am smart and not afraid to show it i do everything 100% and that's no exaggeration." - If you are claiming to be smart, SHOW IT. Use proper punctuation and capital letters when REQUIRED per the English language. You type like you are texting on your phone.
And if you are going to quote lyrics to a song or poem in your profile, why don't you give credit to the author. If you wrote it, tell the reader.
First date? You will be lucky to get a response to an email, let alone someone wanting to meet you in person.
Cheers! | |
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| looking to fine tune my proflle
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:52:53 PM | I'm editing while you're editing. The opening you have now is really odd:
So you may be wondering why I only have a high school diploma but i am an aircraft tech well the answer is simple, I took specialized college classes while i was in high school to get my licenses to maintain aircraft, and while im on that note i love what i do but it doesn't consume me.
Ummm... I wasn't wondering until you brought it up.... (curse you, SeekAdventure25)
Why not instead:
I know what you're thinking... "fancy airline job, hanging out with the airport crew, all that glamour... but, will he notice me!?" But of course! ... or something like that. We really don't care that you took courses in college to do your job, we sort of expect you'd have to have had some training. Why not have fun with it instead?? | |
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