| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:05:17 AM | | ...I don't know what's wrong with my profile. Any tips ladies? Uhm...yea...So this is just filler.............................................................................................................. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:01:48 AM | 1. change profile pic and delete the one with the worm
2. delete 1st line gives bad impression
3. the most emportat lines are the 1st 4 most people read these and if you get further than that your doing well and these are the ones that show up on detailed surchies
4. don't list all the bands as this gives them a chance to ask questions about oh what music do you like (conversation starter)
6.Hmm, what to write about myself... deleat sounds boaring your boaring comes over
7. only a sestigion first date womenwould like to be swept off there feet so make it sound romantic.
8. put a bit of humor in | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:11:32 AM | I would defferently change your main picture as you can not see your face well
And also the worm one as that would defferently put me off
The first line i would remove as it does make a bad impression and if that was the first line i read i would not carry on
Again as said above do not list all the bands songs you like just write the type of music you do and do not like as well as maybe 1-2 of your favourite bands.
Id change the way you say the i am not and i am into more of a sentence as it can be quiet boring reading a list of things rather then sentences and maybe expand on what you like to do ie computers put why you like them same with photograthy write how long you have been doing it why you enjoy it etc
Basically add more information about what you like to do and why. and also the type of person you are looking for | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:11:44 AM | “First things first. If I message you, I'm taking the time out of my day to do so. So I'd appreciate it if you could return the favor.”
GOOD JOB!!! That will prevent 100% of the women from contacting you.
Birthday = POF keeps track of your age.
Bold lettering = obnoxious.
“Things I am not” = negative = bad.
I hate lists.
You aren’t funny.
Glad you don’t hit women. Good job.
Your pictures suck.
You mention nothing about what you are looking for in a girl.
Your music tastes are brutal.
Tom Clancy is cool however.
Did I mention I hate lists?
Your pictures a horrible.
Main one needs to be a good face shot with a smile.
WTF are you eating in the 3rd picture?
Girls don’t want to hang out.
Girls want to DATE.
They hang with their G/F’s.
Are you kidding me??? BABYSITTER?
Go to college.
Get a degree.
Then find a real job.
Ugh at lists. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:39:12 AM | As harsh as it is, he's right.
Also, Flash Flash Revolution? Sounds childish - classify it as a video game, which you've already got as an interest. If you meet someone that wants to know what your video game interests are, you can tell her all about it. Playstation 3 = video games.
Are you going to college soon? Student is better than Babysitter as an occupation for someone your age. Babysitter is what a 15 year-old does for $10. Licensed childcare is what an adult does for a career. You are neither, unless you really do have a license to run a daycare.
My hobbies include playing my guitar, playing computer games, singing, listening to music, riding my bike, sleeping, eating, building lego models, stargazing, gardening, and photography.
Photography = prove it with your profile pictures.
Get rid of sleeping as a hobby, unless you are one of those people that answers ads to sleep studies on a monthly basis.
Get rid of eating as a hobby, unless you are a culinary taste tester or a regular judge at cooking contests.
Building lego models? Reword it so it doesn't sound like you're 12.
You're 18. Do you want to date a woman or a preteen? One of those choices is illegal. Choose wisely. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:53:09 AM |
...I don't know what's wrong with my profile. Any tips ladies? There aren't many 18 year old women here looking for guys to "hang out" with. You'll have much better luck meeting women in real life. How is that working for you? | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:41:44 PM | If you hate lists so much why'd you make one instead of making it into a sentence/paragraph? You don't have to be such a prick man, I was looking for constructive criticism. I could just as well say you're not funny or you're pictures suck but I don't. You could say, "You need better pictures dude. Take some with a smile!" I put babysitter because that's what I was doing t the time. I don't have money for college.
To everyone else, thankyou for the help. Is it any better?
And ugh at your face. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:08:44 PM | | Separate your interests with commas and they will become searchable. Your biggest problem on here will be your age. Most 18 year old girls get dates without the dating sites. You will be better served at your local hangouts. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:32:00 PM |
f you hate lists so much why'd you make one instead of making it into a sentence/paragraph
Irony is wasted on the young.
Yes, better photos - smiling head/shoulders shot, no cap.
The line where you say you've got so much love to give and nowhere to put it sounds like you're looking for a leg to hump. Perhaps instead you could say you are an affectionate, respectful guy and want to be able to share in a partnership with a young lady open to a relationship. Or not. Whatever. You're just looking to Hang Out, right?
As already mentioned, the girls here have their girlfriends to "Hang out" with. If you're ultimately looking for someone smoochable, change this too Dating.
Delete the First Date line about wanting to go to the Keg but not having any money. Instead, you could describe a date where you meet with cameras at a park or someplace nearby and go on a picture walk. At the end of the walk, review your pictures over a cup of fancy coffee/hot chocolate (you're not legal drinking age yet). With imagination, you can describe something unique and memorable. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:14:43 PM | Alright how is it now?
Thanks again for the help guys. | |
|
| In the land of Oz...
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:53:25 PM | Dang, I'm too late for the worm-picture. ;)
"(I will NEVER hit one)" - Delete, for sure.
Same paragraph has a lot of I-am's in it. Can you rephrase these sentences and start differently?
All in all I quite like it. Good luck! | |
|
Home
login 
