| Revamped profile opinion--a womans take
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:57:09 PM | You know the photos as they are now are horrible. Cellphone/webcam shots are brutal. Get outside, pass the camera to a friend, and fake a smile. The one photo where you have the 'forced smile' is actually pretty good, until you said it was a forced smile. Didn't need to know you were in a hotel room with a lady, either.
The opening line is what will be your chance to engage your viewer. Yours is very dry.
I'm pretty easy going, things in general tend to bother me less than they do most guys... I'm also prone towards the creative--I used to be heavily into musical composition, I'm into writing and the graphic arts too...
As someone who is creative as you are, you need to get the point across in about 4 seconds.
Preferring not to let the small things get to me, I am enjoying life as it comes! My creative side helps me see things from many angles, and allows me many ways to express it, including musical composition, writing and graphic arts.
The second version doesn't start each sentence with "I" (which is annoying" and shows a bit more enthusiasm with the ! It's also more proactive language. | |
|
Home
login 
