| "Fictional" Characters
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:35:19 AM | Ok so to avoid hijacking another thread more so then it already has been....
What do you tell your kids about characters like Santa, or The Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy?
Is it lying or encouraging imagination to tell them about these characters? Is it any different then letting children believe that their favorite tv characters are real (Elmo, Arthur etc...)? | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:41:37 AM | I would lean more to the side of encouraging their imagination. Some will no doubt argue but you are only a child once. Let them believe in the little things if that puts a smile on theit little faces :) As for when they are older and find out the truth, well I dont know what to say havent crossed that bridge yet lol but looking back on my life when I found out that santa wasnt real I didnt kill myself or anything ridiculous, we all survived. I say it is a part of childhood that should be held on to.
Medusa  | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:43:54 AM | It's all a matter of personal preference. For us the kids both know and have for a long time that those are all fictional characters with how they are interpreted now a days. They are perfectly fine with it and love the holidays just as much as the next kids who may still believe.
The only tricky part was reminding our kids not to say anything to their friends so as not to spoil anything for them. lol | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 8:20:45 AM | | Children have very active imaginations that fuel creativity. Is creativity possible without being able to imagine? As far as I am concerned as a parent, I encourage my children to "believe" as long as possible...reality hits soon enough. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 8:26:27 AM |
Is creativity possible without being able to imagine?
There are lots of things that involve imagination though, not just fictional characters. I doubt the Easter bunny had any effect on Picasso. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 8:38:39 AM | I'm a firm believer in fairy tales, dreams, wishing on shooting stars and by tossing a coin in a well. All of these things help to build a foundation of goals and aspirations in a child... there's nothing wrong with wishing and dreaming of something more, something better... hell, I'm 40 years old and I still daydream at times and toss up a wish when I see a shooting star.
There is time enough later in life for a child to grow up and have responsibilities, I believe that children should be children and be encouraged to be young and carefree. Teaching these things hasn't hurt my son in the least... his dreams for the immediate future is to be first string on the varsity football team and he's working to attain that goal... his long term dream is to be a psychiatrist. He's also working towards that goal academically.
It all started because no one told him that there was no such thing as fairy tales... no one told him that dreams don't always come true and no one told him that anything is impossible. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 9:17:03 AM | I never questioned whether Santa was real. He just was. I only recall my parents lying about Santa once when the gifts arrived at an odd time but have no idea why my parents chose not to wait until Christmas morning that year. But I wasn't heartbroken to learn the truth; don't even recall how or when I learned it.
My oldest daughter found out about Santa when I was ill and overslept one Christmas morning. My ex conveyed to me how deceived and disappointed he felt in all adults upon learning Santa was not real. That really struck a chord with me. I didn't want my younger children to ever experience that. So I told them that there had been a Santa but not like the jolly fat guy in the red suit with flying reindeer. I told them that maybe Santa is a representation of all the good things we strive to be and wish we could do. I also said it is a shame we don't try as hard the other 364 days of the years. I told my kids that Christmas is not Jesus' brithday but was contrived by the early Christian church and set on the festival of Saturnalia to bring pagans into the fold... a combining of beliefs/cultures. And I told them Christmas and its spirit are whatever we choose to make them -- a sacred time, a time to reflect, a time to reach out and love our brothers and sisters, a time to be with family/friends, etc. Most important to me so what I have stressed to my kids is that it should not be the only time of year for showing compassion for our fellow man.
I never did the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny thing. I gave them money for their teeth and I gave them baskets filled with goodies. We dyed and hunted eggs. For me holidays are about time with family/friends so that has been my focus, not what to tell the kids or how to lose sleep to perpetuate some kind of tradition. I never said anything to imply tv characters are real and don't recall my kids ever saying anything to indicate they belived they were.
My daughters have wonderful imaginations and are very artistic so I don't believe telling them MY truth has squashed their creative outlets in any way, shape or form. We read a lot and engaged in many activities/discussions regarding historical events. Still do.
I don't see either way (fiction or truth) to be particularly harmful to kids as long as neither is taken to the extreme. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 10:22:13 AM | I love spending all night Christmas Eve wrapping presents and putting stuff together and putting everything under the tree, just to see their faces light up with excitement when they come waking me up after 2 hours of sleep.  It really is a wonderful sight.
And I love hiding the easter eggs and watching them try to find them the next morning and the excitement they get out of actually finding them.
And don't even get me started on how much they love to actually lose a tooth.......
I see no harm in letting them believe for just a little bit longer. My 7 yr old as started asking the questions though. And I am not looking forward to her losing that little piece of innocence.......
"Here unicorn........." | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 10:57:23 AM | | Kids should be full of fantasy, and imagination. I disagree alot with certain messages out there like 'if you're good Santa will bring you presents!" There are alot of kids that go without, and for them, they blame themselves.. (But that's a whole other topic). I plan on giving a gift from Santa probably forever, I will encourage the belief in the magic, but when I am directly asked, is there a Santa, I will be truthful. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 11:31:42 AM | Coming from, an extremely EXTREMELY...Imaginative person, myself. I say, encourage fantasy.
My (small, but ever so faithful) fan base, wouldn't have anyone to write short stories about a time traveller, make comics, or, just induldge them in conversation about aliens, and unicorns for six hours. Would they?
Also.
BIGGEST "The Last Unicorn" FAN, ON THE PLANET HERE!
BIG.EST. !!!. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 11:32:29 AM | Keep the magic going as long as possible. At some point the children will find out what is real and what is not.
Let children enjoy being young and celebrate the fun stuff in life. Growing up is hard and many happy times are treasured right into adulthood where they can in turn share the magic.
Life needs a injection of make believe. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 11:35:55 AM | I got told there was no Santa by my school principal when he was subbing my grade 6 class one day. He was going around asking everyone how they felt when they first heard there was no Santa Claus. Everyone was saying "I was sad" or "I already knew" and I was sitting there with my jaw on the floor. lol
My mother had 7 children, 5 of us were still in the "I believe" stage so I guess she let us believe for as long as we wanted to.
I've tried to be truthful to my daughter when she asked if Santa was real and she didn't believe me!!! So I gave up and decided that the seed has been planted, its up to her to let go of her beliefs. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 1:12:38 PM | This is a bit of a sore subject with me. My sister-in-law insists that she was so traumatized when she found out Santa was real because her parents had "lied" to her, that she refused to allow her kids to believe in any of those things. I am a Christmas fanatic and the thought of kids not believing in Santa when Miracle on 34th Street is one of my favorite movies, sigh.
Back when my boys were still young enough to believe in Santa, one of my brother's kids screwed up at Christmas and told the other kids there was no Santa (we live 1000 miles away so missed the incident). They smoothed things over so the kids were still able to believe for a few more years but I just think her whole attitude is retarded.
I have supported the Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy myths and I don't think my children were emotionally damaged when they discovered these were just stories to liven up their childhoods. With Santa, we have discussed this whole thing in view of their cousin's situation and I have told them that the important thing about Santa is not that he is real or isn't, but that the whole gift giving thing and the Easter Bunny are just fun things to do when they are little.
I think all three of my kids knew there wasn't a Santa before they really copped to it because they wanted to sort of fool themselves and enjoy that kind of Christmas just one more year or two. My youngest son found out about the Tooth Fairy by hiding his tooth from me, lol. Now he wants to know if he still gets money for the teeth he has yet to lose. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 3:19:21 PM | i told my daughter after the christmas before her tenth birthday that santa had to make cutbacks, that the elves couldnt make games consoles and expensive toys and he had to buy them in and it was costing him too much, so he had to put an age limit on the children he visited of ten years old!! ( i didnt want her going to senior school telling people that santa still visited!)
She once asked me on one of our trips to Kenya why the Kenyan children we had met didnt have much, and why didnt santa help them out and I was stumped!! i kind of changed the subject!
I think now she knows the truth, i might have to scope it out to see what she believes!!!
Caro | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 4:19:32 PM | When my kids asked I told them that once upon a time there really was a Santa, now there are still many helpers, and people who keep his spirit (the Christmas spirit) alive. They still ask for, and get stuff from Santa. They know where it really comes from though.
I think it is the same for everything, they like to play along and get the stuff from the tooth fairy, Easter bunny etc. I don't think it is harmful. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:03:42 PM | Santa Clause - hell no. Wasn't gonna spend my hard earned and not-so-earned money and work on getting my kids stuff for christmas and then have some fat jolly white man get the credit. You gotta be kidding me. It's family gift giving and appreciation day.
So they knew from the get that Santa isn't real and that mummy and daddy are the ones who gets the presents. Santa is a holiday prop like the Christmas tree - ok to have as the holiday prop in the pictures and outdoor decorations but that's it.
Easter bunny - easter who? Another holiday prop. Means nothing to me or the kids but hey - that's a candy-getting day just like Halloween. Same day different props.
Tooth fairy- that one was harder. I like the idea and didn't discount it, but who was the tooth fairy and why did they want teeth? OK, they are the spirits of dead ancestors who want your teeth too..... um.... make a necklace to remember you by. Yeah that is what I said. It works on some, not the others.
Vagina day - aka Valentines Day - another day of props (this in the abstract shape of a vagina) to get candy and cards from your classmates. Wow, 3 candy days in a year!
My kids hate that I call it Vagina Day.
Thanksgiving - name is fine, purpose is fine. Just don't ask me to explain that displacement and landgrab that is the subject of countless school plays....
As for as imagination goes - believe it or not I am not ruining it. That's where religion comes in..... | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:12:07 PM | Oh NappyKat... why do you post so infrequently? You keep me on my toes and laughing... come around more often!!
As for the religion thing, Im not a fan but im not sure they ruin imaginations. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:19:17 PM | | I'd say don't lie to them. I grew up never having these things in my life and I'm okay with it. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:44:49 PM |
Oh NappyKat... why do you post so infrequently? You keep me on my toes and laughing... come around more often!!  Thank you very much. I had been on a week long suspension after interacting with some trite arrogant egotist in the sex forum. It's my 2nd suspension yet.....
slowly but surely, this little darkie is learning the ropes and her place in the world of POF.....
But to stay on topic (my first suspension was for highjacking a thread 
Another fictional character that I haven't come to appreciate - Snow White & her vertically challenged little people working hard for the money and then having to take care of a little something extra who feels so entitled with what ...
But you gotta love GRIM fairytails. I like and identify with the villains - the witch, the evil stepmother. | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 7:52:30 PM |
Santa Clause - hell no. Wasn't gonna spend my hard earned and not-so-earned money and work on getting my kids stuff for christmas and then have some fat jolly white man get the credit.
Out of curiosity, do you think you would have been more open to Santa if he had been portrayed as a black man? | |
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Posted: 11/6/2009 8:33:00 PM |
Out of curiosity, do you think you would have been more open to Santa if he had been portrayed as a black man? I guess you mean overall in popular culture and not exactly the 'Soul Santa' that they have in some predominately black stores. This means my first and predominate subsequence visions of Santa would have had to have been with a black santa...
I think I would have allowed my child believe in Santa little longer….maybe. As it stands, after the first couple of years with my first child , I never had my children believe in Santa at all because I have issues with little black children looking up to white folks at the expense of their black family and community. To me it says 'my parents aren't good enough to get me anything but this fat white man can do it.'
These weren't questions or thoughts my family had, and they generally went along with 'tradition' without thought or question. 'Oh look what Santa brought you!'' The first question I can remember having when it came to Santa and what I had learned about him - we lived in a shotgun flat without a fireplace or chimney - how does he get in here? And that he could get shot because my granddaddy had a SHOTGUN.
But when I started to question what Santa has to do with Jesus birth – and thought that maybe he was one of the wise men who came down the chimney to witness his birth and bring him presents (am I the only one who got this messed up and associated stuff like this?) – no, a black man as Santa wouldn’t lasted long either. Race aside, there was always the issue of someone taking credit for what I bought, the religious issue (which I was always questioning and trying to associate with the larger pagan symbolism of this holiday). I mean – the easter bunny is race neutral and when I started questioning that in terms of religious symbolism and what it means – then it became a holiday prop and prop only. Like Santa. Nothing that my kids needed to take stock in.
Not to mention Santa had another alias – Kris Kringle. Who the hell was that and why did he need it? I guess for the breaking and entering... | |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 7:07:32 AM | I still get a gift from Santa at Christmas from my parents... and I'm 3o, um, something.
It's the tradition, I guess. Obviously I know he's not real, but it's great to feel like a little kid now and then and to bring back the childhood memories that we loved so much.
My 2 kids still beleive in Santa, and the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny. I love that they get excited when they see Santa in the Mall or at the end of the parade, I love how thier eyes light up. Why take that away from them? Once they get bigger, there is going to be less and less things that will make thier eyes sparkle.
Last year, after our local Santa Clause parade, my family went out to supper at a restaurant. There was this older couple sitting eating thier meal as well, and the man looked just like "Santa". He was a round man with a big white beard... and because it was a weeks before Christmas, he was wearing a Santa hat. All the young kids in the restaurant were restless and peaking over at him. One little boy even went up to him to say "hi Santa". The old man saw how happy this boy was, so he got up and made his way through the entire place saying hi to all the little kids and that they should get a good nights sleep tonight cause he'll be out later with his reindeer to deliver presents. All the kids were beaming, and that's all they could talk about. I could see how happy the parents were too that this man did this. It made our night...
... and it would have sucked for everyone had a parent said to thier kids, in front of the restaurant "that's not the real Santa, there is no such thing". I'm sure we all would have met them in the parking lot with our sleeves rolled up.
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Posted: 11/7/2009 9:14:06 AM | I like to be forthright with my kids ...... always....except for when they were young.....I would never burst their bubble .... I would want them to enjoy the holiday season and the characters and the festivities with the glee I did as a child.
now...if there were to be a discovery along the line about someone...say Santa... then I always would explain it was in the Spirit of Giving....and perhaps share the story of St Nicholas in... Sweden is it?... anyhow...how he would bundle up goods and give to others...trekking out into the cold Nordic nights.
that is what most of these holidays are about...giving...and if you are at all religious... as in Christian...I see it as a good link to share the message of Jesus' birth...and the Lord 'giving' his son to mankind.... well... you know... whatever you want to link here.
We Give Gifts because we love others and want to share... so we are all Santas in some way right?
older siblings I tend to be the problem during the holidays....they are so savvy and like to ruin it for the younger kids. | |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 12:10:00 PM | | nappyKAT, you do realize that Christmas has very little to do with Christian right? Jesus wasn't born on Christmas. Christmas was made up by Christians to co-op the pegans. | |
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Posted: 11/7/2009 9:40:19 PM | Santa: Back when my daughter was about 3, my mom and I were shopping for angel tree presents. My daughter informed me that "Santa must be the spirit of Christmas giving, otherwise we wouldn't have to buy presents for poor children." Santa has been that ever since, even for my son after he was born. We never made any attempt to hide Christmas presents, they were wrapped and put under the tree as soon as they were bought (or as soon as the tree went up) or when they arrived from the family by mail. When friends' children would ask, we just told them that we'd asked Santa to send our presents in the mail rather than dropping them off on Christmas Eve.
Easter Bunny: my kids viewed him as a fun excuse for me to hide candy for them to find. (I quickly learned to count how many pieces I hid, as one year we were still finding marshmallow eggs at Christmas). In fact, after they had found all the candy/plastic eggs, they'd bring the whole lot to me to hide again while they waited in their rooms. There again, my daughter couldn't believe that the Easter Bunny would come into the house to steal the eggs that we'd spent so much time decorating just so he could hide them for her to go find. She announced that the Easter Bunny couldn't be real because of the above fact when she was still a preschooler.
Tooth fairy: My daughter was too light of a sleeper to be able to sucessfully sneak in to exchange the tooth for a prize. My son didn't start losing his baby teeth until he was 7 or 8 and some of his baby teeth had to be pulled by the dentist as they were not coming out any other way, last baby tooth was pulled when he was 10 or 11. Therefore, he was too old to believe in the tooth fairy (he'd already learned the truth from his classmates by the time he'd lost his 1st tooth)
I guess, my kids just learned that these 3 were just fun traditions from the beginning so they never felt decieved or betrayed, yet they were still able to enjoy the fun associated with the characters. | |
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