| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:28:07 PM | Have any of you, ladies… Experienced pain while having sex?
Perhaps it happened to you a few times, but, was it anything you had reoccurring for the long haul?
I ask this, because a.) being only twenty-three, I would definitely like to experience the “thrill” of long sex sessions, and, doing it because I want to, not because I feel like I should. b.) my ex was slightly longer than any of the men I had dated previously to him.
Like I said, I’m twenty-three, but, sex to me, has become “something I need to do”. When it comes to sexual thoughts, or masturbation, I am on deck. Check and check. I want to be able to enjoy it again, without having to bite a pillow so I don’t scream and cry out from the pain it’s causing me (Which, might sound awesome…If you’re a guy). I couldn’t even go on top for longer than a minute with him, or, I’d be in severe abdominal pain, and popping Tylenol from the cramping it was giving me.
I have been with one other “larger” man, back a few years ago. The problem didn’t exist, and…I certainly recall enjoying his added, fulfillment.
Might there be something internally wrong with me? Or can it really, just be the slightly added length? I thought that was all the rage? Which is why I am almost completely convinced that my cookie is broken!
Halp!
Anyone, who has ever gone through this!!! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:37:56 PM | No your not broken. He is more than likely just slightly that much longer than the one from your past, enough to be reaching your cervix.
Communication with your man is key here so its all the time, every time pleasurable for you both.
A side note: if there was any spotting afterwards and your cramping best to see the gyno. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:43:14 PM | I had a physical a little while ago, nothing came back out o the ordinary. Though, I didn't know how much they look for, besides, obvious factors.
He -WAS- hitting my cervix. More like, trying to push it inwards, it seemed. So... It's really only to do with that? I didn't think it itself, had any physical pain, being an...Exit for le'bebe.
He wasn't -abnormally- huge. Just, a little larger than most. Hmm.
STRANGE. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:45:51 PM | I have experienced this a few times before
What I noticed is some positions have caused this
I just had to learn which positions I could not engage in in order to save myself the agony! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:50:21 PM | No, you're "cookie" ain't broken. It's just not used to this guy. With time the two of you may "fit" together quite well. I hope you've let him know that you're hurting. The LAST thing we guys (well, MOST of us) want to do is to cause our lover pain. Let him know that you're enjoying the sex, but that it does hurt some. Maybe he can not "go" as deep for a bit, or let him go all the way in, but slowly, allowing you time to get used to him? Just some thoughts.
The human body is an amazing machine and it can cope with a lot of things. It's somewhat adaptable too.
I'd say your best tools in this case would be communication, practice and patience.
But, as always, that's just my opinion.
Sorry, I know I'm not a lady but I thought a view from this side would be okay. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:50:32 PM | | I have talked to some ladies who have experienced this. They all had Fybromyalga unfortunately. You might want to talk with your doc....and run a few tests. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:50:56 PM | I experience pain through sex, but I also have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). So certain positions, doggy... especially doggy position, I can feel him hitting my cervix/ovaries (cause I have cysts in my ovaries).
I say he's hitting your cervix... and what someone else mentioned... communication is the key. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:08:13 PM | Ok thats good, it is just possible he is too long for you and is hitting tht wall.
This is how women figure out just how much penis is the good size for them or how much penis needs to find the opening out the nose. (ok not plausible)
Def talk with him and experiment away so he knows just how deep he can go without causing you pain.
I had an 11 do a number on me YIKES, so i FEEL your pain.
Good Luck. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:21:45 PM | | kim-I think yours is the best answer yet!!! Some guys will do this but others have to be told. If a guy won't listen I would boot him as there is NO need for that kind of pain!!! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:23:42 PM | | was it because he sucked at foreplay maybe? | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:36:37 PM | | I don't know how anyone could confidently answer this question without saying go to a doctor. Severe abdominal pain ... hello? I don't think your guy is quite that long. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:03:34 PM | | Severe abdominal pain during sex needs to be checked by a doctor. There are many potential reasons for pelvic pain during sex, including an untreated infection which can cause Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. When you see your doctor, you need to have an internal exam with a Pap and swabs (for STIs). If next, you start to spot after sex or between periods, RUN to the doctor...please. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:13:50 PM | | Hmm Im waiting to see what else is said. Im curious I took a minute to look at your profile. It says you have children. Were any of these children c-section. My son was delivered that way. I went quiet some time with out sex. Now every time I do. It hurts, there is a bit of blood. And the next day the cramps are hell. I was going to do a thread, but was hoping someone else did. The man was not overly endowed in anyway. Nor was he ruff. But damn. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:34:19 PM | | There's hundreds of things that could cause this (though only a small handful are common). I'm not sure this is something you want diagnosed by amateurs with limited medical knowledge who can't directly observe your "bits". Go see a professional, this could be as easily remedied by changing up positions, or a sign that something's amiss in there. Only a professional exam is going to be accurate. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:41:49 PM | Hi!
Well, for starters.. I was with him for two years, and, we talked about it a lot.
I talked to two doctors about it, they...Told me not to worry about it, that, I was probably just "Overreacting". Mmhm.
I had a pap a few months ago, there was nothing determined wrong with me.
Maybe I just have to be more aggressive with the doctors. DEMAND they find out why.
I will take a look into the Ovarian cyctis, and fybromyalgia... Eeep! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:57:36 PM |
(Which, might sound awesome…If you’re a guy)
Pain?....Never | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:08:15 PM | | I dated a lady and certain positions were not comfortable to her. She saw her doc and the ultra-sound showed PCOS. But we were able to adjust the positions. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:54:05 PM | Sometimes times the simplest things are the hardest to see..
Instead of spending loads of money and repeated Doctor visits…
Could we take a little test.. for about 5 dollars.. and we can answer
or remove a couple of things as possibilities .. or reasons for your pain.
Go down to your local hardware store and buy a roll of either Packing or Duck Tape
1 ¾ or two inches wide …. take it home and with a hammer beat down the round outside edge .. now cover it with a cloth.. leaving the hole in the middle like a donut …
Or you can go to your local 99 cent store and buy some hair squenchies (sp) that ladies put their ponytails in… get enough that when you stack them they measure 1 ¾ to 2 inches high.. Next time you try the act.. first place either the cover Tape or the Squenchies on him and use them as a buffer so he will not bottom out on you..
Yes it will be odd and the Squenchies might work better..
But afterwards ….. if you don’t have the pain..
We have answered some questions..
1. His bottoming out on your cervix cause you the pain
2. There is nothing wrong with you inside
3. He now understands he is the one causing this and he needs to back off 2 inches.
4. The used Buffer will teach him how far he can go in.. with out causing you pain
5. The male’s sensitive area is all within the first 3 inches anyway ..there is nothing down at the end of the trunk
6. And last but not least.. If he will NOT even at lease try this for your sake.. then he just into it for himself…
One other point.. if he can’t get the roll of Duck tape over himself and the inside of the Duck tape roll is 3 inches in diameter .. You have more and bigger issues then length..
Above all talk with each other.. In my life I have had a couple of ladies who said I bottomed out and it was like being punched inside..
That is when you NEED to think about the lady’s well-being and use some control…
Always remember the act of love or sex is the exchanging of pleasure giving and receive between two people and finding a way or ways to do that.. Not beating each other up.. and saying “what is your problem”
Try thinking of it this way….. as in a long trip in the dark.. You are only concentrating on driving the distance the headlights……. light up… not the whole journey .. simply take it inch by inch and forget about the thing as a whole | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:10:05 PM | Oh my God.
When I started to read the whole "Go down to your local hardware store...And... This'll cost you $5.00...", I was repared for either a laugh, or, a morbid reason to laugh.
The hair scrunchies is a good idea. I think I just assumed men couldn't help but, put it all in. Now that I know that though! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:33:20 PM | When I was younger I had this happen. It was Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.
The worse time was after sex, I stood up and could barely walk! I did think for the longest that sex was painful from my boyfriend hitting the cervix. I was hospitalized a few times for PID, which my doctor felt was that my boyfriend was passing to me an infection of some sort to me as ever few months I would get sick. We were first and only for each other for the longest so its not like we had sexual partners besides each other. . Later, when I had my son I never had the issue again, but then again, that boyfriend was not the father of my son.
If your having sex and its not the size of him, i would go back to the GYN and have them check this out once more and bring up things mentioned here.
Dont let ANYONE ever tell you that your over reacting on your own body or how u feel about anything:
My sister was having issues (very unrelated to this topic) and a FEMALE GYN told her "your exaggerating and your feeling pain cause probably ur fat". Yea, she said that to her.
My sister didn't know it at the time but within 2 weeks she found out at the ER that she had Uterine cancer and an ovary the size of a Cantaloupe (stage 3 ). No exaggeration. She was a mess. FYI-the sonogram the GYN had taken reluctantly- only shown what she thought was fibroid. If we had not kept saying, "no this is not normal" my sister would not have been here today, 5 years cancer free this last month!
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:54:50 PM | OP: There are a lot of causes of painful sex (dyspareunia). Did sex become a chore before it started hurting, or did the pain cause that sort of emotional reaction? The former means you'd likely need to work on your relationship and the sexual element there, while the latter indicates a more physical problem.
Go get a complete work-up: complete STI screenings, and especially get tested for bacterial vaginosis and yeast (and make sure you get an actual culture for both).
Given that you're talking about cramping, it could be that you have some pelvic floor muscle dysfunction that causing muscular problems where those muscles aren't relaxing the way they should. If there's a more surface skin type component as well, you could have some form of vulvodynia (which usually does cause resultant pelvic floor muscle issues, as usually happen with the muscle group surrounding any sort of pain site). It doesn't sound like vaginismus unless you're having trouble with initial penetration.
You mention your ex, and there have been many women who had sex hurt with one partner with whom there were relationship problems, and when they got into healthier relationships, the problem resolved itself. If this was an unhealthy relationship or one in which you didn't feel comfortable, there could definitely have been a psychosomatic component that won't be an issue with future partners.
And while you're figuring this out, remember: you are never obligated to have sex. If sex is hurting and it hurts you to do this, tell your partner and find some non-penetrative, non-painful ways to have sex together. There are loads of things you can do that don't involve penetration, and you shouldn't be hurting yourself over and over again; and any decent, caring lover should want you not to be hurting, too.
Best of luck to you, and hang in there. | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:15:07 PM | | Lay down flat on your tummy and have his come in from top behind you.Or just plain and simple getcha a small****man | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:31:30 PM | 1. Don't ever go back to a dr that blows off your concerns or tells you you are overreacting.
2. Just a pap isn't enough. Make sure you were checked for STIs.
Ok, if it's not a health problem....
1. You can keep a guy shallow by having him on top and you bending your legs straight up at the hip, then again at the knees...that way your knees are between you and him, thus keeping him from getting in too tight. An old bf of mine liked it shallow so he would put my legs like that thus letting him thrust away but staying shallow. If that helps, then yeah you knwo it's length.
2. It's not necessarily bottoming out, yoru cervix moves during your menstrual cycle... and not every woman's cervix is in the same spot anyway. When you are sitting at the toilet after a shower (or whenever), slide a finger inside you and see where your cervix is...is it on the front of your vagina or back? Far back or not so far back? This was somethign I learned back when I was trying to conceive...checking cervix position was part of determining when I was ovulating. and sure enough, when *I* ovulated, I would hit the cervix right away w/my finger but when I wasn;t ovulating it was further back inside. So with a little experimentation you might be able to figure out what the heck your cervix is doing during your cycle. Which might help you to better figure out why sex is hurting in certain positions.
3. Lastly, this might sound weird, but if you have this problem w/a future partner an dit's not a health issue, you can try a butt plug. Yes, for your butt. LOL I got a small one just to see what it was like and happened to try it for the first time w/a rather large guy...that is, largely endowed guy. I discovered that doggy style w/him hurt, but not when I had the plug in. SOmehow, the butt plug "shifted" my vagina a bit so that when he penetrated my vagina he didn't hit my cervix. Go figure, huh? Since then talking to another guy I learned his girlfriend had the same experience - the plug shifted things so positions didn't hurt (i.e. didn't hit the cervix).
4. And one thing more...yes it hurts when a guy has hit my cervix. but it didn't cause cramping. That alone makes me wonder if you really have another problem. I just don't know enough about the topic though. But sex SHOULD NOT hurt. And if a gyn blows off your concerns, find another! | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:09:25 PM | You might not be stimulated enough. It happens to me every once in awhile if I'm not ready and my vagina hasn't expanded enough to allow the full penis inside, and the penis will hit the cervix. If that's the case, take more time in foreplay, or change positions until you're warmed up. I can't handle more than a couple of thrusts before I have to yell out in pain, and if you're allowing it to happen while you're biting a pillow, I'm not surprised you're cramping the next day. It's more apt to happen with someone new for me.  | |
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| Sex...Hurts?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:35:56 PM | If he is pounding your cervix of course sex will hurt.
But does he know it hurts?
You will need to instruct him on how to make love to you without causing you pain.
I im super aroused i can take it deep, but if im not near climax i cant.
I have had 2 kids vaginally, i would think i would be able to handle deeper thrusting, but it still hurts if the baby-condo gets tapped too roughly.
Try getting on top where you can control the penetration.
Or have him lay on top of you and you verbally direct him on how you want him to do it, telling him when to be slow and when its ok to go harder.
Are you doing it from the back? sometimes that position hurts.
Doing it doggy i have tought my ovaries and eggs were gonna come flying out my mouth and land across the room. | |
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