| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:39:13 PM | | I have been dating a guy from here for about a month...and he talks to me with concrete future plans. Why is he still constantly on here? We are talking more than a few times a day!!! This feels to me like he wants to keep his options open! or more directly "he's just not that into me". Was I wrong to give him the boot??? And why do I feel so crappy???? | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:43:11 PM | Yes you were wrong to dump him!!..... did you have the "are we exclusive" talk??..... had he changed his profile to say he had met someone??....... was he just browsing the forums??.... did you actually ASK him what he was doing on here??
The appropriate time is when you both agree..... had you done that?? | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:44:44 PM | Guys like to keep their options open. That's just how it is.
Why do you feel so crappy? Because you want him to be monogomous, and techincally he isn't right now. You have all the reason to feel crappy... but then again... Have you asked him if you guys are dating only each other? Or are you guys just 'seeing' one another?? | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:45:36 PM | Unless you've discussed being committed, exclusive and monogamous, you're both single and free to date whomever you please.
He's keeping his options open and if you're sleeping with him without being in a committed, exclusive and monogamous relationship, then you know how important you are to him. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:46:45 PM | | Sounds like it hasn't been made official. Sometimes alittle communication goes a long way, seems to be lacking a lot between members of the opposite sex. People don't want to share whats on their mind and resort to playing mind games. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:47:59 PM |
Why are you still on here?
Why are you still "looking for a man for LTR"?
Why haven't you changed your status to "not single/not looking"?
She did say she gave him the boot so maybe this is why she is still on here?
OP: Until you have the "talk" I don't think anything is set in stone. He may just have been logging on to seee the forums or to see if you were logging on much like you were obviously logging in to see if he was still here. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:48:35 PM | revilors,..she said she isnt with him any longer. I think shes entitled to the status she claims.
Ohh OP, this is always a toughie.
The responses will be varied and myriad.
The only solution to this is within yourself. If you feel that its wrong for him to be on here, then, its wrong.
You should never be seeing someone, whilst feeling unhappy or worried about aspects of their behaviour.
My personal opinion is if someone still has an active profile up after a month, and he's talked about a future to you, which implies exclusivity,.. and he doesnt post to forums, and hasnt changed his status to indicate that he's not on the market, then.... he's up to no good. You made the right choice IMO
G. x | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:48:59 PM | | I had not been on here the whole time we were dating and I just went on to take my profile off...and noticed he was also on here so I asked him about it and then figured out he was on here several times a day. So I said well I think we should call it quits. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:54:06 PM | | Well, I guess if you have him all figured out after a whoooooooooooole month, even with all those concrete future plans *snickers*....there's really not much more to say, other than you didn't believe his reason for being here. You either don't trust him for good reason, believe he's a liar for no good reason, or are insecure...only you know the answer. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:03:30 PM |
Was I wrong to give him the boot???
My apologies to sexy, green eyes and goodwitch.
I must have gotten distracted before I finished. Sometimes I suffer from ADD...which stand for Attention Deficit...............ummmm...................no you were not wrong OP.
I have been dating a guy from here for about a month...and he talks to me with concrete future plans.........."he's just not that into me"
Isn't that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^the definition of flaky. I'd say he made the "boot" thing a no brainer for you. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:20:42 PM | One of the nine thousand threads on this subject, as well as when to delete the profile might give you the answers you seek.
No he did not change his profile. And he said he just goes on here to chat with friends Ha ha.
The majority of my time here is spent on the forums or chatting with friends and when I was in a relationship my profile reflected that and I was doing exactly what I said I was doing, chatting with friends.
You either trust someone or you don't so you probably made the right decision. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:44:41 PM | | Don't be too serious about on line dating and guys from here. 99.99% of the guys are here just to get laid. Don't raise your expectation from what you've heard. Words are just words. You could only trust consistency in his actions. Just let him do whatever he wants and live your life. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:50:29 PM | It's amazing the double standard of some women that expect guys to drop everything because they happen to be now on her presence. OP, I am glad you dumped the guy. It saved him the time to dump you.
The reality is that until you have the exclusive talk, there's no reason why he should take his profile down. Instead you jumped the gun. Or used that just as an excuse to dump him. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:55:52 PM | | ok ouch! Well, I guess when he mentioned he wanted me to move in and we had only been dating for a month...you are right maybe I just got scared he was moving way too fast and the fact that he wanted me to move in (he lives in LA and I am down in San Diego) and I just used the online dating site as an excuse to push him away. Of course when I told him it hurt my feelings he was on here ...he just said well its just e-mails now hurry up and figure out a way to get a job up here??? I took that as a sign of exclusivity....my bad | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:19:08 PM | sexysize2,
i think you can do much better. after one month it is not cool to call you a few times a day or talk about concrete plans. thats too fast and speaks of an immature personality. add chatting with some girls here on pof and you get a guy that will most likely bring tons of unnecessary drama into a relationship. you feel bad because seeing him had some good elements and thats hard to lose all of a sudden.
maybe if you talk with him and express all your feelings it will make you feel better. remember "the truth will set you free". and perhaps if he shapes up you can change you mind or not. | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:25:34 PM | | [ 99.99% of the guys are here just to get laid.] nice comment wandering soul hands up all the guys who have gotten LAID from this site???????? sure men bashing now that is a proper sexist comment.............. doubt many guys are here to get laid, how many are looking for sexual encounters? and how many for LTR or dating or marriage so that would be all three combined at .o1% then??? | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:29:13 PM | Have you actually met him several times during your month of dating?
If he is just emailing friends, why would he use POF email and not be using his personal account?
I think that is too soon to be asking someone to move to L.A. and uprooting you away from your career. Why doesn't he get the job there closer to you if he is the one wanting the closer arrangement?
Sounds as though there is an implied "exclusivity" but if he hasn't said it, then that's what it is, just implied or presumption. It needed to be communicated clearly and what both of you were going to do with regards to the POF account (if a man is serious about you and are exclusive, he would either have closed it on his own or with your suggestion). | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:32:08 PM | | It doesn't matter what they say they are looking for. You really think all women are that naive to buy that if guys say they are here for LTR? then why do you think there are so many threads here with confused women with disappearing guys (who are here for long term) after getting laid? | |
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| Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:35:26 PM | | You're comments are unfounded, and the reason women appear on here confused is because they make themselves confused. Women dont know what they want, and go into everything with their expectations too high. I have yet to find a decent date from this site. They are all crazies! | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 25 | |
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