| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:28:25 PM | I read A LOT of creepy, boring, and even psychotic profiles from users asking for help in the "Profile Review" section.
I now have a dilemma though: Is it RIGHT to help a boring person sound not boring or a psycho sound not psychotic? I mean... shouldn't people's profiles give a good indication of WHO THEY REALLY ARE?
I mean, why help an incredibly boring person SOUND interesting? Isn't that just setting their dates up for failure?
Wouldn't helping to hide a psycho's true nature make those who helped hide this fact accessories to the crime (even if the 'crime' is just a horrendous date)?
Should we really be helping illiterate morons sound educated and well-read if they aren't?
What say all of you?
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:34:03 PM | Had to chase you around...
I don't spend a lot of time in that particular section. But...the times I have looked...the advice was more of a general nature.
Have more pics...smile...take out this statement because it implies...ect...
I don't think anyone doing re-writes for them.
Or...suggestions on what people might want to know about you verses what you are telling people about yourself.
I kind of see your point. I actually would put more weight on forum postings...rather than profile descriptions. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:37:56 PM | | I have "helped" once in a great while only because sometimes I cannot stand the amount of grammar and errors that I see. But, in all reality, people are people and they are going to make whatever "they" feel is going to capture them someone. Everyone is different and there are a lot of nut cases; hell, I will not even MEET anyone off here anymore. It has been nothing but a 3 ring circus and from men with actually, what appeared to be/have; "decent profiles". So...it is really a difficult call to know who is the nut case, and who is not. I do not think it is so much "we" are helping them with a date as much as we may be helping people word things a bit better. Not everyone is here for dating. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:40:53 PM | I have to think about this one OP - but I just wanted to say thank you for an interesting topic on a slow day. Hmm...should we be making the undateable dateable? Or is it a moot point? A great profile can only bring you so far...sooner or later, the next step will come about and the undateableness (lol) will become apparent.
Interesting! I'm looking forward to reading some responses from my esteemed fellow forumites.  | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:50:53 PM | Yes, very interesting topic.
I don't have a problem with helping some people with their profiles but I do see your point.
The problem I am having more now is the ones that you give the advice and then they come back to negate what the reviewer has said. Most of the people that post in that section have a lot of good feedback for them. They come asking for a review, then
get p!ssy when they don't get what they deem as positive feedback.
There is also the other problem of the attention wh0res that come in asking for a review complaining how they never get ANY messages; bumping their thread to make sure it stays on the front page.
Seriously, a profile review does not need 100 replies and 1000 views. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:56:05 PM | Ms. blayze - I know what you mean. They come asking for help, but it's half-hearted (quarter hearted...?) and then get really ticked when people try to help. I tried to hang in the profile review forum, but it was too frustrating for me. Just...argh. Those brave souls who help out are better than I, I'm afraid. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:49:56 PM |
I read A LOT of creepy, boring, and even psychotic profiles from users asking for help in the "Profile Review" section.
IMO
You need a new hobby.
I now have a dilemma though: Is it RIGHT to help a boring person sound not boring or a psycho sound not psychotic? I mean... shouldn't people's profiles give a good indication of WHO THEY REALLY ARE?
Good question.
I do not think it is right or wrong but agree that you are helping someone hide who they really are, egro turning them into a player.
I mean, why help an incredibly boring person SOUND interesting? Isn't that just setting their dates up for failure?
Oxymoron - incredibly boring
I would think it would increase their chances at getting contacted, but the person on the other end will figure it out eventually.
If they are not able to, then they are truly a match.
Wouldn't helping to hide a psycho's true nature make those who helped hide this fact accessories to the crime (even if the 'crime' is just a horrendous date)?
Maybe an amateur / wannabe psycho, but a pro does not need any help, unless that is their game, asking for help.
I prefer the, Can you help my find my lost puppy.
Should we really be helping illiterate morons sound educated and well-read if they aren't?
No.
My lack of a unversity edumacation says let dem fed for thensevles.
What say all of you?
See above. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:02:44 PM | One does wonder what the point is some time.
If you have to give a proofread to fix any typos or punctuation simply because it's THAT poorly laid out, well... as soon as they try messaging someone, that abuse of our language will reveal itself anyhow.
And if someone's profile says "I'm only aroused if you're crying", telling them to change it to "I can be a good shoulder to cry on" will probably leave you wondering if you'll get a knock on the door one day with claims that you were an accessory to something heinous. (49.99999~% of my mind is telling me to replace this paragraph with something more tasteful)
If people are being responsible on here, they'll make sure they spend a hefty amount of time messaging beforehand, prior to actually meeting or doing anything with the person, and hopefully in that time be able to discern if the person is a whackjob or hopeless prior to any progress. True, if we leave their profile to their own devices, that person may learn a lot sooner, but there's also that slight, slim, tiny, miniscule potential that there is a good match out there, and it wouldn't have happened if the person's profile wasn't in order. In the off chance of that happening, it couldn't hurt to at least do what you can to give the person a hand, assuming you enjoy the business of doing so anyhow.
It's a tough call. I figure it's every users personal responsibility to determine if someone on here does or doesn't sound like a good idea, and that is something that should be revealed in conversation/messaging, rather than the profile. No matter what a profile says, the messaging is the steadfast filter zone. I see no harm in helping someone get to that point. If they fail from there, they fail from there. At least they'll be aware that's where the issue is, and maybe learn to work on it. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:34:10 PM | I for one, do not rewrite anything someone says.
I'll make suggestions on improving the readability, give helpful advice like "use humor", but occasionally you'll see those rare gems beyond saving. Those are the fun ones to eff with ;) | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:35:33 PM | Lotsa peeps have a tough time talking about themselves (having been told their whole lives to shut the frick up). Helping them do better is a kindness not a crime. Since no one has an amanuensis to help them with the emails ~~ if they *are* incredibly boring, won't take more than an email or two to reveal it. So no problem that I can see.
And yes, the sociopaths already know what the h377 they're doing. . . . So don't worry on that account, either.
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:56:18 PM | I don't think that we should impose it upon those who don't want it or upon the clueless but...one of my friends on here addresses this issue in her profile and offers to help others. She tells them that bad spelling, and 2 word profiles are a turn off to others. A few have taken her up on her offer. Then...there were the few who wanted her to write testimonials for them.  She passed on that because she just didn't feel right saying glorious things about someone she doesn't know.  | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:35:01 PM | you're very quick to judge, op. i notice that's not reflected in your profile. if misrepresentation is your worry, perhaps you should apply it to yourself.
i say give everyone a boost who asks for it and clearly isn't a nutjob or criminal. the boring people will still have boring profiles. the people who are interesting but simply lack writing skills will come out looking a little better, and there's nothing wrong with that. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:56:34 PM | I totally agree with davidpiano0609. I've rarely seen anyone totally rewrite someone's profile for them and wouldn't do so myself.
But it's like a resume'. Some people just are not as good as others at putting thoughts into words on paper. Do they not deserve to find a good job because of it? Or is it okay to help them make their resume' as polished as possible to improve their chances of finding a job?
Once they get an interview, it's up to them to get and keep a job, just like it's up to them to get their own dates (and keep them interested).
So I don't see it as enabling players or anything nefarious like that. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:09:06 PM | Have you read some of the reviewers' profiles? 
Besides, isn't that the beauty of candid profiles....the quirks, bad spellings, lazy writing, misguided opinions, cliche sayings, idiosyncrasies really do make up the whole and easier to formulate an opinion?
There are gems everywhere I tell you. Well-thought out profiles smacks of desperation, methinks. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:40:53 AM | Fi Fi Wrote
Why would an educated man such as yourself waste his precious time reading the inane ramblings of uneducated morons and boring people?
I don't see it as a waste of time and some users asking for Profile Reviews are quite nice and intelligent. It's just that MANY aren't. I like making suggestions on profiles but have read a few that really make me question why bother. . . especially the with the users who ask for reviews, and then defend to the death every suggestion / comment and never change one word of their profile.
Also, I'm a full-time artist so find myself at home (or in my studio) much of the time and having the opportunity to interact with others (even if it's only text-based) is good for my mind, and I find it WAY better than sitting in front of the television watching 2 hours of brain-numbing primetime.
Pedro Said
Besides, isn't that the beauty of candid profiles....the quirks, bad spellings, lazy writing, misguided opinions, cliche sayings, idiosyncrasies really do make up the whole and easier to formulate an opinion?
I suppose that's my point. If those doing the reviews help take out all these things, haven't we the reviews just changed who these people APPEAR to be?
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:45:07 AM |
I like making suggestions on profiles but have read a few that really make me question why bother. . . especially the with the users who ask for reviews, and then defend to the death every suggestion / comment and never change one word of their profile.
I did notice that many people who ask for a profile really just want to be reassured that they're great, their profile's fine, and we can't imagine why their inboxes aren't flooded with emails. It's not their fault! Those people really do get irrationally defensive about suggestions -- didn't you come in here and ASK for suggestions?
By not re-wording a profile, you don't change the person's essential message. Instead by cleaning up the wording and spelling, maybe suggesting better pictures, you're not changing who and what people appear to be. They still have to think of what to say and how to say it. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:47:53 AM | A lot of times, it's helping a boring person meet the man/woman who will bring out the unboring in them.
Many people don't live on the Internet, and their jobs don't rely on writing skills. Meeting these people in person could be an extremely lively date; but because they don't know how to write on the 'Net, they never get the chance to show how exciting they really are.
Spelling and grammar errors might seem like little quirks about somebody you know, but when you have about 10-15 seconds to impress somebody you don't know, you don't want them to see a profile littered with typo's - it indicates a lack of effort put into a document. It's a resume for dating. People pay professionals to help them write a resume - here it's free.
Just because someone's profile shouts "BORING" to you doesn't mean they really are boring. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:05:20 AM | Well OP you're sure holding yourself out there as a pseudo expert.
Should people be paid to help someone rewrite their resumes? What's the difference?
You're assuming a lot, go reread a few reviews and see if there's a reviewer encouraging someone to lie or be deceitful.  | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:59:55 AM |
I suppose that's my point. If those doing the reviews help take out all these things, haven't we the reviews just changed who these people APPEAR to be?
No, I don't think we the reviewERS have changed who they appear to be. They still be morons, hicks, hillbillies and such.
I noticed on Facebook that my ex, (who is intelligent and well educated) makes frequent errors in grammar and spelling. Had I encountered him through online dating, I probably would have passed him by. That would have been stupid on my part, because he was quite the catch.
I'm going to cut them damn morons, hicks and hillbillies some slack from now on. Well, as long as they don't piss and moan about narcissists, gold diggers, and fat chicks. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:27:29 PM |
i say give everyone a boost who asks for it and clearly isn't a nutjob or criminal. the boring people will still have boring profiles. the people who are interesting but simply lack writing skills will come out looking a little better, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree with this, not everyone comes to this sight having an articulate ability to represent themselves in print and a little helping here and there to bring out there creative style I see as a benefit. A lot of us have started cookie cutter because we didn’t know what else to do and have since learned how to shine. I certainly haven’t tried to create saints out of satans, but a few helpful hints and a few questions asked of the persons profile can get their creative juices flowing and I see that as positive for me and them. | |
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| Should we HELP others with their profiles here?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:14:26 AM |
thebugisback said
James, one thing I've noticed (remembering you from before) is that you are not as laid back as you think you are - also you're more judgmental.
Interesting personal attack, bug.
I've never called myself "laid back" in my life... nor would any of my friends call me such a thing. As for Judgmental; how can you say I'm more judgmental that I think I am since you have never talked to me nor do you know WHAT I think of myself?
I'm not sure what "one thing" you've "noticed" about me since apparently you've noticed nothing correctly. Good luck with that.
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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