| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:21:40 PM | i met a guy, we went out. we met at 5pm and it lasted all night til 230 the next afternoon. the conversation was so easy. lots of same interests. and they way he touched my made me freakin melt. i assumed going into meetin him it was a fling, at least it was for me, but i am truly interested in getting to know more about him. the problem is, i dont know if hes lookin for anything serious or not, so how do i bring this up to the fling that has stole my heart without sending him running?? thank you in advance guys for your advise | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:29:30 PM | Give him a call and find out how he really feels about you. Tell him how you feel, and ask him if he feels the same way. Heck, you were together with one another until 2:30 the next afternoon.
If he wants to make things serious, he'll be willing to do so and should be receptive. If he thinks that you are just a fling, he won't be - and he'll only see you as such in his eyes.
Now this is the dangerous thing: when you call you'll know how he really feels about you ... however, is this what you really want? How strong are you?
Personally, if I was in your shoes, I'd want to know because I don't believe in living my life in a lie ... or at least ambiguities.
Thus, just call him.
I wish for you the best. | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:30:37 PM |
so how do i bring this up to the fling that has stole my heart without sending him running??
Either he is going to run because he does not see potential for anything more or he is not going to run and attempt to salvage a normal courting relationship.
Not a guy but as far as I know there is no "right way". | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:37:56 PM |
so how do i bring this up to the fling that has stole my heart without sending him running?? thank you in advance guys for your advise
Generally speaking it simply doesn't happen...
Men tend to categorise women as either for a "good time" or "long time"...
If they've already decided you're for a good time, then you're out of luck.... and generally, a man tends to do this if the sex comes too soon...
I know, I've never in my life had a long term relationship with a woman if the sex came too soon... I might even date and still have sex with her, but she was just somehow no longer long term material with me... As a said, a "good time" not a "long time" | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:49:58 PM | Biggest danger I can see, is that you're jumping the gun on yourself. Crushes happen pretty easy, and go away just as easy.
On the other hand, I do wish you luck. Your best advice so far is from the young lady who pointed out with [much approved] rationality, that you may as well be direct and ask him straight up, since however he responds, you'll know where you stand, and can go forward with your life. | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:52:50 PM | Oh sweet baby Jesus. Do we have to do "this" thread again? I'd think that by 38 yrs old you'd not have to ask us to babysit you in a questions like this. Call him up for christ sake, confess your stupidity (bopping too soon), state your wishes to HIM and leave the rest of us out of it. Oh Lordy.
Flings are flings. Amen. Enjoy them for what they are. Or just shut up. | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:54:55 PM | thats what i think too. ...damn
Deep down inside, I agree ... it doesn't look good. However, are you going to base your decision on what you think or what you know? And there's only one way you're ever going to know for certain ...
vvv - I agree with vanaheim. Though overall I don't think that it looks good for you, OP, guys are not all the same. Despite popular opinion, we're a subset of people, and thus we all see and view the world differently. | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:59:29 PM | The next you're with him, talk to him about how much you enjoyed the time you spent with him. Of course he is going to tell you that he did as well and then, you tell him that you are not too sure what “that” was but, you would like to keep spending time getting to know him. Then you tell him that you would like to hide your profile on POF as you surely have found someone quite compatible with you.
Of course, then you wait for his response!
I can hear you in that you do not want to scare him away but, 1. you are looking for long term and 2. he knows that. This said, what makes you think he too is not wondering the same thing you are? | |
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pdlop
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Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:31:00 PM | | Its pretty simple, you ask him out again. I wouldn't quite yet tell him that he has stole your heart. You might scare him away. Play it cool, go out with him again, once you get to know him you will get an idea of what he wants. So did he tap that ass? | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:48:38 PM |
Call him up for christ sake, confess your stupidity (bopping too soon), state your wishes to HIM and leave the rest of us out of it. Oh Lordy.
Saying is was a mistake after the fact is just as bad as lines like...
"I've never done this before..."
or
"I'm not that type of girl..."
They're right up there with "The cheque is in the mail..." for believability...
Sorry, telling a guy you fcuked him and it was stupid accomplishes 2 things....
1... You've just insulted the guy... never tell a guy that fcuking him was a mistake...
2... Tells him that you can't control yourself. Hmmm Back to good time not long time... because if a woman can't control herself, she can't be trusted to not be stupid with another guy...
Most guys know that they're not THAT good that a woman will change her dating style just for him... so it's her style... again, back to "good time" girl not long time... | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:11:25 PM |
so how do i bring this up to the fling that has stole my heart without sending him running??
Sorry no promises here, this is real life. So you need to just tell him that what you thought was a fling could actually be something more in your mind, what about his?...
Good luck | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:04:45 PM | | Lady, if he wants a fling... you can't change his mind. So asking/cajoling won't do a damn bit of good. If he calls you and invites you out again and his actions indicate he is looking for more... proceed as usual. If not, get over him! Seriously, I'm kinda sad you haven't got this down at your age. | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:26:19 PM | How do you know it was just a fling to him?
Just cus he scored doesn't mean he doesn't like you.
Cool your jets and go out a few more times.
You'll know soon enuff if it is only about the sex...
or about you.
You can lay your cards on the table then.
....maybe 4th date.
If he runs, well, maybe next guy won't.
good Luck. | |
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| how do you go about telling a fling you want more than a fling
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:29:15 PM |
i assumed going into meetin him it was a fling, at least it was for me
...do you know for sure he wasn't looking for more? We don't have the details about what was arranged/said beforehand, but who knows, maybe if you talk to buddy, he might not have thought of you as just a fling, but something with potential. Of course, you may just have easily been a conquest.....prepare to have your heart ripped out, but nothing ventured, nothing gained right? | |
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