| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:57:47 PM | Ok, if you don't believe in souls, substitute whatever word fits the closest for you...
And all references to sleeping mean just that - SLEEPING, not sex.
I was thinking about an ex boyfriend and how we seemed to bond when we slept together, bodies wrapped around each other.
And it seems to me, that when we sleep cuddled up with someone, be it a partner, parent, child, or stranger, our souls "touch". I know that sounds all new-agey and honestly I"m not really new agey. But I don't know how else to put it.
It is like a bonding as we sleep.
So as I pondered this more, I thought about the difference in sleeping with a man that I loved, versus sleepign with a new boyfriend - or worse, a one night stand. I once hooked up with a guy that was a one night stand (I know, I'm awful, forgive me) and afterwards felt like I had to allow him to spend the night sleeping there...but I wanted him out. I didn't feel comfortable allowing him the intimacy of sleeping by me, even though we had had sex. It's like I didn't want the soul touchiing with a stranger.
And it also has seemed to me that when I have slept with boyfriends we have bonded and had better relationships than with boyfriends I didn't sleep with, regardless of the sex life or length of relationship. It's like the sleeping together enhanced our bond, made it stronger. OR maybe I only wanted to sleep with the ones I was closest to?
Consider this: When I was married, a number of times I would wake just as my exhusband was having a nightmare...I'd wake and he'd start hyperventilating. I'd awaken him and relieve him from the bad dream. And one time we actually co-dreamed - we dreamed the same thing at the same time, then woke up. Also a number of times we'd spontaneously wake up midway thru the night, wide awake all of a sudden, and horny as crap. Seriously, that was the only good sex in our marriage, those times.
Cosleeping with babies has found that the parents breathing rhythms help to keep the baby's breathing rhythm regular. Some think it actually reduces SIDS because it regulates the baby's nervous system better so the baby doesn't stop breathing. (this is completely different from the issue of drunk parents rolling on a baby (and fyi nondrunk parents don't do this))
So what do you think? What has your experience been with sleeping next to someone else? Do you think your souls touch? Or whatever else you want to call it that enhances your bond? Or makes you not want to sleep next to a stranger because you don't want that intimacy?
Or do you not feel this way about sleeping next to someone else?
What about pets? Stop laughing, I'm serious. I wake up most mornings to my doggy curled up against my back and it's SO hard to get up b/c she's so warm and snuggly. And when I was still married my cat (which he has now) slept curled up against my chest all night long...I never rolled on my cat, or my babies, and don't roll on my dog...how is it that I sense them in my sleep?
I"m just wondering if there really is something that goes on during the mere act of sleeping against or near another person (or pet). Maybe as new agey as souls touching.... Or maybe more biophysical as breathing systems working together, and going thru sleep cycles together. But still? Really? Like how does that happen and why?
Kaylie...sleeping with no man tonight...but prolly 2 puppy dogs since it's chilly tonight! | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:01:22 PM | | Yep, sleeping with someone, or even something, is a great way to bond with it. Research some different pagan beliefs and you may even find out that they say the same thing. Good job discovering something less known. xoxoxo | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:15:26 PM | | Asleep is a very vulnerable state of being. The concept of 'souls touching' makes me cringe a little, but I'd find it plausible that there is some sort of physiological reaction going on when you're sleeping next to someone. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:07:52 PM | | how on earth do you sleep with your animals in the same bed?? i've had cats that slept with me in the past and boy was it uncomfortable!! now i won't let them on my bed anymore. the cats would curl up real close to me and i'd wake up the next morning all cramped up and in pain. sorry but i don't think it's a good idea to let your pets sleep with you. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:13:59 PM | Eden, i don't know. I do know there are a lot of POFfers who agree with you - that can't sleep w/pets in bed (or won't allow it).
I guess I've done it all my life so am used to it. I either move around them or shove them over if they get in the way.
When it was my cat, as soon as I moved to turn over, she would get up and move to the other side of me (so as to stay on chest side).
When I was a teen and had a cat, she'd sleep at the foot of the bed until I was good and settled (often asleep) and then she'd settle in b/t my legs for the rest of the night. LOL
Most of the time though I"m not even aware they are there until I wake up in the morning. We move thru the night in sync, somehow. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:02:48 PM | Agreed that sleeping with someone is very much an act of intimacy, because its all about letting down your guard and letting yourself be seen at your most vulnerable. I've been there where I'd rather leave (or have her leave, depending on who's home we were in) after sex, rather than staying the night. There is something warm, both literally and figuratively, about having someone next to you, and waking up with that person in the morning.
A long time ago I was involved with a woman that I got very close with very quickly, and when things ended between us I had a difficult time sleeping at night because she was no longer in my bed. I got in the habit all those years back of sleeping with my arms wrapped around a pillow, as an admittedly poor substitute, but it got me through, and its a habit I still have to this day. But nothing beats having a warm, loving woman that I care for lying next to me (even if she does have cold feet!). | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:13:37 PM | | Sleeping together, one of the things I miss the most in a relationship. Having my woman next to me is special. Having her fall asleep on my arm or chest and just listening to her sleep for a while then I can get my arm back before it cramps too bad and lay close to her and get a great nights sleep. I lean against her for a while and then she lays against me for a while. I really miss that closeness. I also miss watching her open her eyes in the morning and smile and it just makes my whole day good. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:20:22 PM | Because I need my sleep, and take sleeping serious, I do NOT want anyone touching me when I sleep. My late husband also wanted to sleep when he slept, not be touchy touchy. That's why they created Californian king size beds.
And one physician friend at Stanford Medical center who works with patients who have some type of insomnia, noted that most people who actually get enough good sleep are the ones who have the most sex.
As for the rhythm issue. Science has shown that women in a sorority or all girls boarding school, often have menses the same time each month.
~Beth~ | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:39:56 PM |
And one physician friend at Stanford Medical center who works with patients who have some type of insomnia, noted that most people who actually get enough good sleep are the ones who have the most sex.
If I am having a good sex life, other than with myself  I sleep soooooooooooo good . That is a very true statement. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:05:21 PM | yah
I'm in bed with my laptop and my snoring boyfriend
no I'm not naked
get your mind out of the gutter
he worked really hard for two weeks straight with no day off to meet a deadline
he fell asleep so fast tonight he's still wearing his glasses lol
cute
the snoring I can do without
but yeah, his warm skin pressed against my thigh is looooooooooooooverly
gotta roll him over so he stops the bloody snoring though
yeah now that's a bonding experience when you can roll them over and they don't wake up | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:05:51 PM | yah
I'm in bed with my laptop and my snoring boyfriend
no I'm not naked
get your mind out of the gutter
he worked really hard for two weeks straight with no day off to meet a deadline
he fell asleep so fast tonight he's still wearing his glasses lol
cute
the snoring I can do without
but yeah, his warm skin pressed against my thigh is looooooooooooooverly
gotta roll him over so he stops the bloody snoring though
yeah now that's a bonding experience when you can roll them over and they don't wake up
I think I'll go spoon him
g"night | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:22:07 PM |
Cosleeping with babies has found that the parents breathing rhythms help to keep the baby's breathing rhythm regular
I work with infants and toddlers, and in the naproom, I often will cuddle with the ones that have a hard time settling, "spooning" them, and simulate the heavy breathing of a deep sleep. It's amazing how quickly the surrounded feeling and the deep breathing puts them to sleep...often in just minutes!
My personal experience on sleeping with others...I'm a bed and blanket hogger. Have been since I was a kid, and took over my mother's entire queen sized bed with my 6 year old little body  | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:31:38 PM | | yea Kaylie..I have slept with female friends before and not had sex ... had one friend before who it happened pretty often ... yes we cuddled mostly to comfort each other when there were issues in our life ..it was not sexual even though other people did not believe it ...actually we were second cousins...and didnt believe it would have been right to have sex ...but we were very very close .... our relationship did benefit me sexually as she fixed me up with many women ...we actually played wing man for each other at bars It worked like a charm ...for both of us ...we slept together many times ...sometimes even quiet drunk ...but we never had sex ...she cried in my arms many nights and I cried in her arms other times ...we learned of Love and ABCs ... skinned our hearts and skinned our knees ..... we were two of a kind and grew up together ...here's to You Brenda ......R.I.P. I will never forget you | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:36:48 PM | I have to agree with you OP. Whenever someone asks what I miss most about a relationship, I usually tell them it's having someone to sleep with. I really don't care if they snore, grind their teeth or talk in their sleep (I love to listen). But having someone's arms around me, or "spooning" and everything is just right with the world. Heck, I'll even wake up early enough to turn on the coffee pot! But I'm coming back to bed for just a few more minutes to get that early morning great feeling.
I sure am looking forward to next weekend! I have found a wonderful man that knows how to spoon just right.
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:37:10 PM | Interesting stuff here about sleeping and how it relates to intimacy and what not. I reckon, sitting her on my old orange crate, got me to thinking. I got 3 cat critters, and one sleeps in between my legs and I try awful hard not to turn over at night on account of I know he's there. Even in my deepest sleep, I somehow "sense" the little feline presence.
Same with my daughter. She slept in between my ex and I for a number of years, and, I have to say that I ALWAYS knew she was there. One wrong turn of this ol body and my little baby would be toast. But, I ALWAYS knew she was there. Funny how that works. We are somehow "aware" of who is beside us.
I have to say that "comfort" and sleeping, why, it all depends on the "consciousness" of the one beside you. If it's the right person, it's all good, even if it's a little soul that keeps you from turning over on account of you don't want to disrupt their sleep. The discomfort is somehow also gratifying, in the sense that your soul seems to celebrate the presence of another soul being there.
But, with the wrong soul, it ain't quite the same, somehow. Funny how that works. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:40:12 PM | OP. Just more proof on your theory. I don't remember the exact website. But if you type in the healing hug. You will see something wonderful. twins born premature. Ithink 25 weeks. The little boy did well. The little girl was touch and go. They did not think she would make it. They spent time in seperate incubators. A nurse came up with a suggestion. What would happen if we put them in the same incubator. Maybe it was too much of a change from when they were in the womb. So the doctors and nurses put both premies in the same incubator. With in the hour, the boy had his arms wrapped around his sister. This is how they slept. They say the transformation in the little girl was like a mircle. She finally started to thrive to live.
I don't know about soul touching. But I do miss the warm body of someone else. Heck I even miss the snoring. | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:45:46 PM |
Same with my daughter. She slept in between my ex and I for a number of years, and, I have to say that I ALWAYS knew she was there. One wrong turn of this ol body and my little baby would be toast. But, I ALWAYS knew she was there. Funny how that works. We are somehow "aware" of who is beside us.
yea thats funny ...I normally toss and turn ...kick and roll ...but when my kids were little and in our bed I never moved yet slept all night long ...and now when our grand babies are over and get in the bed with us ..its the same I never move | |
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| Sleep (yes, just sleep) with someone and your souls touch
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:45:28 PM | 
And slept blissfully, I'm sure. There IS a very valid point to OP's thesis. Sittin' here on my old orange crate, I can't rightly say that souls are always awake and celebratin' life, but I'm inclined to say that there's more to life than what this ol feeble mind can muster.
Must have something to do with all of us being connected to some type of universal reality or something to that effect. | |
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