|
|
|
|
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:08:16 PM | This isn't about a particular girl, I'm talking about my dating experiences in general. It's been one-way traffic for as long as I can remember--no matter what, I seem to be incapable of engendering or being able to sustain a woman's interest beyond the first couple of dates. This has been going on for nearly ten years now--I just can't break this endless cycle of going out with a woman maybe once or twice, only for her to give me a polite brush-off shortly thereafter or to pull the disappearing act. Rinse, repeat. I've never had anyone tell me I'm dull / boring / uninteresting etc., but perhaps most women are too polite to go so far as to say something like that.
This seems like a total crap shoot to me; beyond pursuing the kind of woman I know I want, there's little else I can do, is there? It seems to me that the rest is up to her, what she wants, and to happenstance.
And yet, my biggest worry is that after all these years of fruitless searching, I might end up settling for someone despite our being wrong or bad for each other.  | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:32:58 PM | Well... do you have women who have favorited you? I see a lot of guys post... "Wahhh... no one loves me!" while ignoring the women who contact them or who have favorited them.
The thing that seems a constant is that you are picking women who aren't attracted to you, like a glutton for punishment. Do you ignore warning signs that she is not into you?
No one is likely to tell you to your face you are boring/ugly/not their type. They just fade into the background and hope you get the picture.
If you have been single for 10 or more years... I don't think you will suddenly 'settle'. Doesn't seem to be in your personality. But perhaps as you age and mature your criteria for what makes you happy might change. Pray it does.
Lack of physical attraction is usually the reason but not exclusively. Some common pitfalls:
-Being a suppliant rather than a suitor... you don't need to put her on a pedestal, she needs to intrigue you too. No gifts too early. No adoring praise that is over the top and insincere.
- Watch and make sure the convo is back and forth... neither one of you is hogging the attention.
-Look at her body language for signs of boredom and disinterest.
-Get in touch with your 'authentic' self... leave the guy at work... at work.
-Are you happy? Because unhappiness is a turnoff.
-Do you give off signs of desperation?
-How well do you incorporate physical touch, is it awkward or something that comes naturally to you?
-Are you trying to 'get fresh' too soon before building comfort, trust, and intimacy with her?
There has GOT to be some woman who has flirted with you in the past that you overlooked for some reason, single is a choice. You might have high standards for women you approach. Like it or not... guys are the pickers... if you don't pick a women who would be inclined to choose you... whose fault is that?
I read your profile, I liked it a lot. Seems like there shouldn't be trouble reeling them in... so it must be something you are doing on the date. It so hard to give you advice b/c it could be a million things. The only thing I got from your profile that might say something about your personality is that I think you are too uptight in your sense of humor and too self-conscious in your word choice. Something between the lines lets me know you are often struggling and walking on egg shells. Idk, just my gut feeling. Goes back to being your authentic self. You shouldn't be afraid to be a lil' sassy... to get a rise of out her... women like that stuff. No one wants a 'yes' man or someone who is worried about everything that came out of his mouth a moment ago.
Oh, we are in the same age bracket... but I thought on looking at your pictures you were a lot older... you might be dressing too much like an old man. Pleats...polos...50's hair. Grab a GQ, head to Express or Limited for Men and get metrosexualized... STAT! | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:41:08 PM |
The thing that seems a constant is that you are picking women who aren't attracted to you, like a glutton for punishment.
How am I supposed to know that in advance? I'm not a mind reader. Either a woman agrees to go out with me, in which case I assume she's interested for the time being, or she declines.
Do you ignore warning signs that she is not into you?
These dates don't hang around long enough for this to be a relevant issue--it's generally all over in the matter of a few days.
If you have been single for 10 or more years... I don't think you will suddenly 'settle'. Doesn't seem to be in your personality.
But you do understand that I haven't been single by choice, right? Even I don't have any way of knowing whether this is actually true.
Lack of physical attraction is usually the reason but not exclusively.
As much as I hate to admit this, I believe you're right. The notion that I have yet to meet someone and experience mutual attraction is depressing, though, haha.
you don't need to put her on a pedestal, she needs to intrigue you too. No gifts too early. No adoring praise that is over the top and insincere.
Hmm...this gave me pause. I might actually be doing things that are very nearly diametrically opposite of the above. I don't give out compliments freely exceept to occasionally say things like "You look great!" I've never given a woman who isn't a close friend any gifts. I don't do effusive praise, ever, unless it's truly warranted--I do commend people on certain achievements though, which I think is slightly different. If I don't agree with something a woman says or does, I let her know tactfully if I deem it to be important.
Get in touch with your 'authentic' self... leave the guy at work... at work.
Hmm...I hardly ever talk about work except in very general terms about how (un-) productive my day was, mainly because it's not easy to explain what I do to lay people, or even to most fellow engineers, for that matter.
Are you happy? Because unhappiness is a turnoff.
I'm not unhappy. And I don't do the fake, over-the-top, "I'm so happy it makes me giddy!" thing either. All in all, I'm the picture of psychological health compared to many others around me who seem to be constantly stressed out or at the centre of inane drama.
-How well do you incorporate physical touch, is it awkward or something that comes naturally to you?
I'm generally not comfortable touching strangers--takes me a little while to get to that level of comfort even with a woman toward whom I feel a strong attraction.
-Are you trying to 'get fresh' too soon before building comfort, trust, and intimacy with her?
See above.
There has GOT to be some woman who has flirted with you in the past that you overlooked for some reason, single is a choice.
None that I know of--make of it what you will. Yeah, from my perspective, this beggars belief, but that's just the way things turned out.
You might have high standards for women you approach. Like it or not... guys are the pickers... if you don't pick a women who would be inclined to choose you... whose fault is that?
Again, I'm not a mind reader. Most of the women I've dated are roughly in the same playing field, intellectually and emotionally speaking. The only ones I actively avoid are the women who clearly have serious emotional and psychological issues. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:31:50 PM | *Except. Ugh, typo--there's no way I'm going to reformat that long post.
Well... do you have women who have favorited you?
Yes, a couple. One has a ten year old daughter, and has a lot on her plate in general. She seems nice enough, but it all seems a bit much for my first ever foray into a relationship. Besides, I'm practically a surrogate dad for my 17 year old brother, so I don't want to take on that role for yet another kid--no matter the protestations that most single parents aren't looking for the missing parent for their kids, at the end of the day, it's a package deal. It's different with my brother 'cause he's almost grown up now and doesn't need any hand holding anymore, nor does he need me to continue playing dad.
The other girl isn't over her ex yet--enough said.
There has GOT to be some woman who has flirted with you in the past that you overlooked for some reason, single is a choice. None that I know of--make of it what you will. Yeah, from my perspective, this beggars belief, but that's just the way things turned out.
Okay, that's not entirely true, but married women and women with boyfriends don't count, do they? Those are the only unmistakable instances of flirting I've been able to recall after much racking of my brains--smiling at me and laughing at my jokes a lot, brushing my arm with their fingertips and moving in close of their own accord, engaging in mild innuendo, etc. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:05:59 PM | After reading your profile I gather that you are a highly intelligent guy who probably has a lot of interesting things to talk about....with the right woman.
Have you tried meetup.com and joining some groups for social pursuit? Perhaps your conversations aren't appealing to the women you're meeting.
I find this true of myself, most men I meet say little that interests me or they can't hold an intelligent conversation. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:36:32 PM | I don't know you or who you're trying to date so my advice could be off.
But some points to consider.
1) when you say: pursuing the type of woman you want...
Do you have an impossible to meet criteria?
For instance. I'm attracted to only average/thin women.
So for my age group, that limits my chances by 50%
problematic, but not impossible.
But if I was only attracted to average/thin blonds with blue eyes, with a certain figure, certain ambiance, IQ, and no kids......well....
I've narrowed my chances down to impossible.
2) When young, we go out with whatever attractive woman will go out with us.
But are you really finding matches or just your criteria?
There is no real dating tricks or techniques other than showing up sane, well groomed, and personable.
Dating is all about compatibility.
If it isn't there going in, it won't arise on it's own.
Dating failure is built in by not realizing this.
People with very good looks or money can delay that.
But not change it.
3) Do you have any close female freinds?
Two reasons I ask.
One has to do how you relate to women. If you don't have female freinds, you may have a problem in that area. You type you do not like to touch and such. Other than talking, how are you gonna woo a girl? There is a whole lot of subtle things women want to see in a guy. And want a guy to to do/say to relate to them. If you're just a cardboard cutout of a guy, there is little for a woman to latch on to. Not that there are not women who will go for your personality type. It is just they may not be in the criteria you are attracted to.
It is useful to visualize the type of woman you are attracted to.
And then envision the type of guy she would be attracted to.
If it isn't you, make some changes, and work on that.
Alot of guys have that "here I am come get me" dating mentality that goes no where.
I'm not talking becoming what you are not. Just work on aspects of yourself that are not working. And accent aspects of yourself that are good. Sometimes we have to stretch ourselves and grow to achieve our goals.
In life and in dating.
The second reason is female freinds can see you as..well...any woman would. They can give you much better advice then we could. They know you, we don't.
If you don't have close female friends..why?
The reason for that, could be the heart of your problem.
This may not apply, but some guys pay attention only to attractive women and ignore the rest. Why have a woman as freind that you are not wanting to date? But in viewing women like that you are cutting yourself off from understanding women. All women have similar motivations, desires, feelings. Attractive or not. If your interaction is only in trying to date a babe, then you will never have any game at this.
Again that may not apply, but something to think about.
Lastly female freinds have OTHER female freinds.
If they know you, they may be better at finding you a match then we could be...
or you.
Good Luck. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:35:08 PM | I see two possibilities.
1) You are doing something wrong and driving them off
Solution: Ask a good friend to be brutally honest about you.
2) You have a buster picker. You have a talent for picking women ill suited to you
Solution: Have someone else do the picking for you.
I would also recommend finding out your personality type is and know how to spot personalities that will mesh. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:31:32 AM | Happy Go Lucky if this has been going on for ten years this means you were 17 when this started. Is there anything you say or do that would make a woman think you weren't even interested in anything beyond dating? And you are still young, so whats the hurry? Ever simply ask someone you have dated and trust what she thinks?
~Beth~ | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:56:03 AM | | ten years of failed dating? thats a long time... first thing i wanna tell you though is dont settle. settling will make you an unhappy man, dont lower your standards. its not worth it. especially since youve gone this far. i would say have you looked at what you may be doing wrong? men and women have such different opinions on what dating should be, maybe id say read a cosmo magazine every once in a while its like a womans brain in an essay. dont put all the blame on the women, because that just may be your first mistake. you may think youre perfect. not trying to insult you by the way! just a thought thats all. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:03:40 AM | OP,
This is an interesting post. I don't really know what the answer is. You're a decent looking guy with a decent career. All I can think of is maybe you're shooting way too high - as in the gold digger types who won't settle for less than a very wealthy guy or something. Are you? I don't mean that offensively. I would think you'd be able to get a fairly attractive woman who has something going for her careerwise too. Also, at your age, there should be plenty without kids. I also think some of the women who aren't objectively all that great, sometimes think they're better than what they really are. (I'm sure it applies to some men too, so neutral there.) If someone, say a 6 or 7, gets a little attention here or there, it can sometimes inflate their heads into thinking they deserve no less than perfection in every realm. It's possible you're running up against that assuming the women you choose are cute but not stunning, decent job but not great, etc. I've even seen people with bad (or no) jobs, lots of kids, etc. (i.e. lots of baggage) who are just cute enough (but, again, not great) to get some attention, yet reject guys that have a lot more going for them than do the women. I've seen the same thing with not so great guys too. Basically, if it's not you aiming wayyy too high, then it's the latter that I mentioned. Not sure if there's really a solution for it. I don't blame you for not wating to lower your standards - you wouldn't be happy with that for long - or if at all. Not much help, I'm afraid, but at least an attempt at an explanation.
The only other thing I can think of is you do come off as a little sensitive, so, as one of the other posters mentioned, you might seem a bit too eager around some of these women. That can put you up or down a notch or two. Try to relax and not be so concerned about the impression you're making. (LOL easier said than executed!) | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:24:49 AM | After reading your profile and looking at your pictures I will conclude what I'm sure most of these no-start women have concluded over the last decade: you have no edge. You appear about as safe as a plastic spatula and have no means whatsoever to take a woman and knock her the f#*! out. Figuratively speaking.
Possibly literally too...
Anyway, there isn't a whole lot more I can or want to say. Hit the gym. Eat red meat.
And change up that ridiculous style! What is that? "Cookie Cutter Academia: Fall 2009 Collection"? You probably also have that herringbone plaid blazer with the cord elbow patches sewn on. Fess up.
Ok, we get that you're intellectual and smart, both of which are qualities women say they want. The thing is, women enjoy intelligence displayed via witty banter. How are your conversational skills? I can see nothing dehydrating panties faster than directing a didactic discussion on the Discourse of Descartes.
Work on being "sexy, fun guy". We all know you have "straight-laced doctoral thesis guy" locked down...but that's not getting you much play. Once you get the persona that hooks and retains female interest nailed, you can work on integrating the two and becoming the powerhouse you always wanted to be!
F. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:36:03 AM | | OP, forget all this advice, and just be who you are. There is nothing wrong with you. You are 27 and you just haven't found the right girl yet. Nothing wrong with that...she's out there, you're young, and you will find her when the time is right. Don't give up, don't settle and above all else, don't get bitter or angry. Just keep looking. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:48:41 AM | Thats right OP. Don't settle, and nobody else will settle either, and so you'll continue to be alone. Don't look at your standards to see if they're too high, you're "better than that". You'll find the perfect match one day.. who needs compromise?
 | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:36:43 AM | Wow.
You're only 27 and you sound like your life is over.
I was about your age when I got married...for the wrong reasons...because I "settled"...and despite the pricesless lessons I learned, it was the mistake of a lifetime.
Enjoy your life as it is. Have fun and enjoy the things you like to do. There are much worse things than being single...especially being with the wrong person. That was the biggest lesson I learned. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:49:23 AM | Three pieces of advice for you....first get yourself a trendier hair-cut....... you look nearer 40 than 27!!
Second look to join a club or group where you will meet like-minded ladies...... something like a book club or chess club.....
Third, ask a female friend why you're not having much luck..... she knows you better than we do
Good luck!!
Angel | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:12:49 PM | | Without knowing you, I have absolutely no idea what is happening. It occurred to me though that I know someone who has similar problems. He's a lovely man but doesn't seem to get anywhere. He's a scientist, which isn't the problem of course. What I have found though is that if any emotional or psychological topics crop up in a conversation, his eyes glaze over and within seconds he's effectively dropped out. He's still there, of course, in person, but mentally he's miles away. His lack of interest and inability to cope with things that most women feel to be the very centre of life and relationships manifests itself by distraction. He suddenly has something he'd forgotten to do, he starts playing with a gadget, or he decides he needs to get a drink, go to the men's room or whatever. It's quite amusing in a way, but it does mean he's sabotaging relationships with women left, right and centre. This is a man who woman are fond of and things certainly should be different for him. Unless he can learn to cope with this, though, I fear he will be alone. How can you get close to someone who shuts off when you share any feelings about anything of importance? | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:00:17 PM | Either change your style or change the kind of woman you want.... Obviously it's not working. And don't listen to that "be yourself crap" or "there is someone out there". First of all what good if "yourself" sucks and secondly there is NOONE out there unless you make an effort.
Be that smart/funny guy. Not smart/boring.....
Change the kind of "comedy" you watch.
Go find different stand up comedians (itunes/zune/amazon/youtube/wherever) Open yourself up to new kind of "funny"
Do something you have never done before...or would never have done... something interesting and dangerous. Learn from these experiences.
You can't FAKE an interesting personality. You need to become one. You're still young. Get going... | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:50:29 PM | Thanks for the posts, there's certainly some food for thought here.
Perhaps I ought to clarify--I've never had any problems approaching women and talking to them. I don't have any complaints about my success rate in terms of obtaining numbers, arranging dates and what have you. That seems to be the easy part. The problem arises in trying to make it past the first or second date--this is what has me completely stumped, especially since most women I go out with give me positive feedback--"That was fun!" Or "I'd love to do this again!", "Call me later in the week." and so on and so forth, yet they tend to disappear shortly thereafter with nary a peep. Hmm...maybe I have a doppelgänger who's a registered sex offender.
Thats right OP. Don't settle, and nobody else will settle either, and so you'll continue to be alone. Don't look at your standards to see if they're too high, you're "better than that". You'll find the perfect match one day.. who needs compromise?
When I alluded to "settling," I was referring to not wanting to just being content with finding a warm body because of my extended dry spell. I have no reason to believe that I have unreasonable expectations, especially appearance-wise. Frankly, if looks are all a woman has going for her, then this becomes painfully apparent rather quickly, and it's a complete turn-off.
mysteriosa, I see what you're getting at, but when I've only been out with a woman maybe once or twice, we haven't yet had a chance to carry on a conversation of the sort you describe--we're virtual strangers at this juncture, after all--then again, could the fact that the women aren't opening up indicate that they aren't interested in pursuing a relationship with me? I'm inclined to think not, because it's just too early to tell.
Three pieces of advice for you....first get yourself a trendier hair-cut....... you look nearer 40 than 27!!
Thanks for the advice, and although I'm sure the impression I gave you isn't far off the mark when looked at objectively, I'm personally fine with the way I look, and as I said above, I don't seem to be turning women off and sending them scurrying away in droves, so I'm not concerned about this.
Second look to join a club or group where you will meet like-minded ladies...... something like a book club or chess club.....
I belong to some clubs and organisations, and have met a few women this way. The pattern remains the same, though--no luck yet.
Third, ask a female friend why you're not having much luck..... she knows you better than we do
It's hard for me to ask for help, not to mention a little embarrassing due to the nature of the request, but believe me, I have asked some of my friends on a few occasions. Apart from making some sympathetic noises though, they haven't been able to provide any suggestions I haven't already tried or any useful feedback despite having known me for several years. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:29:01 PM | I thin Stray Cat has a good response for you.
At least you are getting dates...that is a positive.
Don't change your look unless YOU want a change.
Hang in there. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/18/2009 12:06:56 AM | I believe that a bit of self inflection is required. Perhaps what you are telling them is one thing, but your body language is telling them another.
You are getting dates, that is a good sign, however if you are constantly coming up with all snake eyes despite your efforts, I would have to conclude it can't be all them. FWIW, I don't get a lot of attention either, but that is also my body language, I can talk to most of them, but I don't give off a 'vibe' that I am 'available' or interested.
For the moment, that is fine, I am still damaged from a bad relationship and trying to 'heal' myself before putting myself back out on the market. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/18/2009 1:41:59 AM | | Basing this on nothing just taking a shot in the dark, you are smart clearly, but as somebody mentioned before, you need to be more "witty smart" in the beginning, FOCUS on making the ladies laugh a little, there will be plenty of time later on to impress them with your booksmarts. You need to show them you can be spontaneous and fun in the beginning, that's what hooks them. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/18/2009 8:28:58 AM | First of all, if you continue doing things as you've always done, it's no wonder you end up with the same results...
Now then... I had a friend I grew up with named Dave. Dave was a decent looking guy, intelligent, pretty down to earth, good sense of humor... Dave just discounted any woman who wasn't 'up to his standards' He refused to get seriously involved with anyone who didn't measure up. There were a LOT of girls/women who liked Dave, but he didn't give them a chance. Last time I talked to Dave, he was 29, and still a virgin.
I'm not saying run out and have sex. I'm saying you might want to check the others out who are interested in you. Seems to me, the best looking aren't usually the most qualified for the job. Not saying I dated/married a dog - she's pretty hot. I'll go for a 7-9 with substance and intelligence over a drop-dead dumb/superficial 10 any day.
I don't know what ballpark you're playing ball in, but you might want to switch up your game. Look in places you haven't looked before. Give people the chance you've never considered before. You might be pleasantly surprised that your options open up quite a bit. Bottom line is, if you keep doing things the same/picking potential mates based upon the same criteria, you'll be right where you are a decade from now, and still wondering why.... | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/18/2009 9:06:19 AM | You're right, you look good, no problem there. You're also right that if there were a problem there, it'd be harder to get initial dates.
And your profile is delightful (though it's driving me a little nuts that I do recognize the man - actor, I think - in one photo with you but cannot think who he is).
Anyway. Obviously you know that somehow or other you keep blowing it. And there is one pool of people who can be a good resource on how and why, and those are, the women you've dated who drifted off.
It sounds like you've left things on friendly terms with all of 'em, and like there's a big pool to inquire from, so, why not ask? If they are truly nice people, at least some will answer, so as to help you out in future. And it isn't like you have anything to lose by trying this. So what if it feels a little silly, or they feel sorry for you - you're not going to be dating them, anyway. They are the only ones who know what happened. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/18/2009 9:12:47 AM | Ok, looking at this completely objectively - you can't be that bad looking otherwise these women would not have agreed to date you in the first place, therefore physical attraction is not your problem. Thus, the problem lies specifically in your dating technique.
You seem like a logical guy, so perhaps what you should do is analyse:
1. The topics of conversation.
2. The "flow" of conversation.
3. Your body language / demeanor.
4. Are you indicating / escalating any romantic interest? (i.e are you being too platonic?)
5. Are you being overly flirtatious? (as opposed to platonic)
6. Language (are you being overly wordy?)
I can't think of any more variables during a date, but I am sure there are a few. Obviously what you are doing isn't working, therefore it must be changed.
My initial thoughts are that you may "logic" the woman to death (based on your level of intelligence). *Most* women respond exclusively to emotion; logic is the antithesis of emotion. Perhaps try to talk about past good times for the both of you; holidays, crazy times with friends, parties, why you enjoy / dislike certain things e.t.c, basically anything that will evoke an emotional feeling in her - dry, logical topics will do nothing but make her think you are a bore, that is unless she's genuinely interested in the same topics as yourself. | |
|
| Permanently stuck in a rut
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:01:46 AM |
I don't give out compliments freely exceept to occasionally say things like "You look great!" I've never given a woman who isn't a close friend any gifts. I don't do effusive praise, ever, unless it's truly warranted
you have no edge. You appear about as safe as a plastic spatula and have no means whatsoever to take a woman and knock her the f#*! out. Figuratively speaking.
Okay first let me comment on your first statement. And right there I can tell you the so many things that you are doing wrong. First, one of the things that dating gurus tell you is do not complement PHYSICALLY a woman. Why? Because if she is attractive, she already knows that and it comes across as "Hi, you are beautiful, do you want to have sex." The sex part men don't say it, but it's what plays on a woman's head ALL THE TIME. And they are right, men want to have sex with women, and if they say they don't they are lying. So not only do you give a physical complement, but chose to use the most lame version of it. "You look great" is like saying you look "Nice." It's like saying I am "nice" in bed. How horrible. So the way you praise, the way you express interest in them is extremely lame.
So we go to the second quote. Most women that you date eventually find you to have no edge and find you lame. So it is time to do a paradigm shift. Unfortunately those are not things that Dating gurus can help you with. What you need to inject into your life is a way to approach it. First of all, find your passions. Go and do something different, edgy, scary. Second. When you complement a woman, complement her mind not her body, even when complementing something physical. For instance say "How, that is the weirdest purse I've ever seen, it's like it's alive, or a walking piece of art, where did you get it?" That not only shows a more realistic interest in HER CHOICES, but instead of thinking, what'ta hell does this guy wants, she goes into, I got it at this place in blah, blah, blah.
Then the next thing you need to do, is not find what the woman is all about and conform to her, but introduce the woman to YOUR world and have her conform to YOUR world. Now, some people may say, what a sexist thing to say. Not really. In relationships were I sucked, the number one complaint was that I did not introduced them to my world, no matter how odd it was. So get her out of her world into the edge that is your world. Then go from there. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
