| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:28:12 PM | We have pre-nuptial marriage agreements. Why not pre-date agreements? There have been threads that discussed background check, requests for drivers license and debates over how many dates before sex. What's next? Pre-date agreements?
If you could have a pre-date agreement, what would you like to see on it?
STD test results? How about height certification? Should there be a certified weigh in? How about referrals from the last 3 SO's? Last 3 dates? Medical history? | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:30:49 PM | Are you talking about an early negotiation for a pre-hump agreement?  | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:41:15 PM | | I'm sure you had your tongue firmly planted in your cheek when you posted this of course OP, so some of that is obviously not going to happen. But what will work is pretty simple...agree to show up on time, and leave your cell phone off (unless its the babysitter)...and be honest at the end of the date about whether or not you want there to be another date. A little honesty and courtesy upfront, and we can figure out the rest as we go along. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:08:39 PM | I'm not familiar with the tongue in cheek phrase. So maybe I am. Maybe not. Where I am coming from is making light of the many threads that I have read that seem to take it more serious than I would have or has been taken in my generation.
I have read a thread that people do want STD results. That sounds good, but unless someone signs a release form so that those results go directly to the potential dater, that is so lame. The results can be easily altered. As the old saying goes. Locks are to keep honest people out. Thieves will find a way in.
Background checks? OK. That's fine. But that is one of the points I am talking about. If someone asks me for a drivers license, I want one from them too. Could someone who is an identity scam artist take advantage of us? Go from date to date and get exactly what they need to clean us out?
Medical history. Maybe we should get our dates medical background to find out if they have anything that we may need to look after in years to come. Maybe we should look at their life history. Did they smoke and drink heavily for 25 years and gave it up 8 weeks ago?
I'm just saying. Where do we draw the line? | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:38:14 PM |
Where do we draw the line?
Easy for me.. I don't need to see your driver's license or STD testing since I am not going to sleep with you on the first date. I am not giving you my Driver's license either, as far as a current STD complete test done yeah... I will supply that when the time is right, as I expect you to also.
I do like to have a webcam session to make sure I am meeting a real life person and I will be able to recognize them in a crowd.
I also think for alot of people the first meet and greet is way over thought. I know for a few of us a meet and greet is exactly that a meet and greet. Basically to decide if we want to date. I don't consider it a date now or ever.
I used to believe in Background checks even paid for one a time or two. The problem with them is the one I paid over 200 for didn't have that he was a habitual offender,, a convicted felon dating back to when he was a teenager. Nothing about his debts. Didn't have a current address on file. I know this since I knew what his current phone number was. So no background check needed if I need one I don't need to date that person.
So bottom line, I honestly believe alot of hype is given out here, I think for me I will continue on my merry little way in my own style.
How is this for semi-serious. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:51:42 PM |
I'm not familiar with the tongue in cheek phrase. So maybe I am. Maybe not. Where I am coming from is making light of the many threads that I have read that seem to take it more serious than I would have or has been taken in my generation.
what you have just said is a perfect definition for the phrase ..Tongue in cheek | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:55:36 PM | I believe in CATscans ... I would like for my cat Samantha to sniff over the woman head to toe once or twice. It may sound a little facetious, but she really is a great judge of character.
As for the other stuff, I'm with SassySky on this one ... I would hope for many of the poster's sake that it is more talk than action. Yes, I have been burned by the "pictures taken 15 years ago" profile date, but that is what internet dating is all about; being strong enough to handle the risk in order to find the eventual reward. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:09:08 AM | "We have pre-nuptial marriage agreements. Why not pre-date agreements?"
A date is a negotiation. You meet and see what the other person has to offer. If you like what's being offered, and the other person likes what you have to offer, then you take it to the next step.
What's the point in negotiating the negotiation? | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:27:34 AM | | I do set pre date agreement - that we do a meet only, that it's quick, inexpensive, and if one or both of us isn't interested we don't meet again. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:37:23 AM | sure...I'd supply all the documents needed along with the photocopy of my *middle finger*....
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:04:31 AM | The pre-hump agreement is posted in the humor forum.....
It's not where do WE draw the lines, it's where each individual draws their own lines, sets their own boundaries and makes their own guidelines. Or be a sheep and follow what everyone else does.......baaa. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:05:29 AM | | maybe just meet up at the clinic....you could hold hands awaiting the preiliminary results, drinking stale coffee with stale packaged cookies out of the machine. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:25:04 AM |
I do set pre date agreement - that we do a meet only, that it's quick, inexpensive, and if one or both of us isn't interested we don't meet again. I second that... | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:16:41 AM |
I do set pre date agreement - that we do a meet only, that it's quick, inexpensive, and if one or both of us isn't interested we don't meet again.
No pressure there.
I prefer to do a date the right way. A nice dinner at a decent restaurant, a couple of hours of conversation, etc. It doesn't even have to be romantic. If the spark isn't there, it's two friends hanging out. If it is, then you don't have to wait for the next 10-minute "coffee-date" to enjoy each other's company. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:56:10 AM | Well first of all, if you're honest from the begining there should be no need for a pre date agreement just go out and meet already why are people so scared to even do that?
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:39:05 PM | | I agree that a meet and greet is nothing more than that. It's an opportunity to talk to get to know a little more about the other person to determine if there's dating potential. I met a man the other night who said he considers the meet and greet the equivalent of a job interview. He dresses well, puts his best foot forward and hopes for the best. I like that attitude as very realistic. It truly is a jungle out there and we need to be ever vigilant. The health report (i.e. STD and HIV test results) should be a mandatory exchange before becoming intimate. For those of us who survived the 60s and/or 70s, we need to realize it isn't the 60s or the 70s anymore. Men AND women should be bringing condoms with them when they consider becoming intimate with someone they've met online. On another thread I posted my story of the very first date I had that lasted for 5 months until I learned he had been engaged to be married to a woman from another state, two months before we started communicating on POF. As the weeks became months, some honesty would have been appreciated. While he's telling me he hasn't been with another woman, his fiance' is finalizing wedding plans. After that little heartbreak I start communicating with a man on POF who talks about returning to my state from where he's been living for several decades and we try to get to know each other a little more. Then I discover that the man I think I'm communicating with has POF photos that aren't current and he looks nothing like the person I thought I was talking with. I remain optimistic. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:26:35 PM | It's a date all the first date means is we have a possibility of connecting based on the information I know about you.
So
I would hope that the information was correct.
I would hope that a person does not have hidden agendas and can be forthright in their requests.
I would hope that you will do your best to arrive when and where you say you are going to.
That's about all I expect.
My time is not so valuable that I do not have time for an interesting conversation with a person that thinks I may be interesting to. There are several slides in the movie before one gets to the end. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:54:47 PM | | Seriously people... overthinking this? Christ, no wonder ya'll are single! | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:42:32 PM | Its tactical dating 101
Select a target object
Make a time to rendez-vous
Agree on location
Have a limited engagement, with a clear exit strategy
Have contingent plans in event of a protracted skirmish
Set clear bountries, establish go/no-go parameters
Bring back up if necessary
Confirm exit
Conceit bait or fish
Plan next op.
Get in, get it on, get gone, repeat as necessary. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/8/2009 12:17:55 AM | | Seriously? A pre-date first STD test being requested would tell me the woman was promiscuous, and had a major reason for needing an STD that quick (ie she was dirty.) I'm sure a lot of us are guilty of it at some point or another, but hooking up on the first date really isn't the best idea under the sun to begin with... | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:11:36 AM | | One way to get around the "awkwardness" of sharing all this very personal info up-front with a potential date would be to create a very premium dating service that would check out all this stuff for their members as part of "pre-qualifying" their members. Not sure how realistic that would be but it's an idea for a new business.....background check including credit check, make them get a medical check-up including std's every 6 months (or whatever), etc. | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:14:14 AM | | having just got out of M and now dating..i figured i would get tested so if anyone asked me i would have it...so going to DR.tomorrow morning. BUT if you get tested in nov.and never hook up with anyone for 3 months who's to say the test has any merit anymore when you show that person? | |
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| Pre-Date Agreements
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:04:51 AM |
Seriously people... overthinking this? Christ, no wonder ya'll are single!
Best comment so far!! | |
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