| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:40:45 PM | So i met this guy thorhg this website, a few days ago, we were thinking about hanging out tomorrow but he wasn't sure if he is busy or not.
Here's the problem, he gave me his phone number the same day we met, I've texted him first the whole time we'been talking, (4 days...?) and I don't want to have to do it agin, but I need to know if we are hanging out or not... and more importantly, is he interested? what do I do? | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:55:15 PM | If he was interested he would have called you to make plans.
Don't text him and don't call him, go make your own plans with friends for tomorrow night. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:56:18 PM | | I would go about your business and assume that you are not hanging out. You could wait a looooooooong time for this guy to call. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:58:57 PM | I agree with the above poster. Sorry hun but unfortunately if he was interested he would make the effort to contact you and initiate conversation. Put the ball in his court and see if his actions begin to speak louder than his words. Best of luck!  | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:03:55 PM | You sure seem to be pondering about things a little too prematurely.
Currently he gave you his number and now are wondering if you are just hanging out and if he's interested. Sure seems to me that first things first and hanging out to get to know the other person better is the first step. Anything after that is still up in the air.
I hear your desire to know what “that” is at the moment and at the moment, you both are just getting to know each other. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:05:06 PM | Well this is Friday night and you haven't heard from him, I seriously doubt that you are hanging out. I wouldn't bother texting him again.
Come on this isn't rocket science here, if a guy is interested he makes it clear. | |
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| Ok the Sun is up... bring my morals back!
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:31:45 PM | Madame, I don't think hanging out on 'Friday' is the problem here, some of us would like to catchup on our sleep after a brutal week in the torture cell. :D
The real problem here is, "he gave me his phone number the same day we met". Seriously, how many others has he given out his phone number to, on the same day? That's speedy gonzales! You're looking at someone who has morals again, when the sun comes up. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:39:28 PM | Is he "interested?" I highly doubt it.
At first I was going to type that he may be your friend, but the more I thought about it, from time to time I am the one that initiates contact with my friends. If he hasn't even once contacted you, that not that much of a friend.
I'd agree with the concensus: ditch the number. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:41:57 PM | When someone says they're busy, esp a man, make him call you. Make him wonder if YOU are actually interested in HIM. Make him persue you. That's how you flesh out the b*llshitters from the real deal. Never chase a man. And never sit around the phone waiting for him. Live your life with both barrels no matter what. In fact, if he calls, tell him you're busy this weekend.
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:05:59 PM | but I need to know if we are hanging out or not
You don't NEED to know...You WANT to know and it is making you nuts, right?!
It NEVER fails...If a guy really wants to hang out with you, you will know it.
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:15:36 PM | First, I know ya paid $5 extry for 300 texting messages and what not, but dang, texting is for them little people still watching "Hannah Montana" and "High School Musical 3."
Here's an idea: Why not give this person a voice to voice phone call? Talk to him more personal like? Then mebbe you could get some better information on how he feels. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:23:07 AM | what krebby said. if you call, a lot of the time you can get immediate answers to questions.
When someone says they're busy, esp a man, make him call you. Make him wonder if YOU are actually interested in HIM. Make him persue you. That's how you flesh out the b*llshitters from the real deal. Never chase a man. And never sit around the phone waiting for him. Live your life with both barrels no matter what. In fact, if he calls, tell him you're busy this weekend.
didn't know any men were uncredited collaborators on 'the rules.' ya learn something new everyday. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:26:51 AM | It seems you need to learn mens art of asking out to get favorable results(since most women have no idea of the "stress of rejection" of putting themselves when asking the opposite sex out). You should of instead of asking," if we are going to hang out", set a definite plan. Like say," I get off work or_______ , lets meet at ____________at 8, for a drink( or whatever). You will get a yes or no or compramise on time when can meet. Ya see we try not to leave any back doors open, men dont like to be rejected at this stage, niether do you, you left a back door open and now feel the effects of it. If hes not intrested he will say no thanks or maybe cancel, but if he is intrested he will confirm the date.(yes). It doesnt feel very good huh, men go through it also when they dont word plans correctly or come across wisheywashey. If a man was asking you out but sounding not confident and wishey washy how would you react? Hesitant or maybe not so intrested right? Just be a bit more assertive, definite on time and plans so to make it easy for him to to say yes and meet you. At this point its just to meet to see if there is any chemistry but if you cant get up to bat(baseball lingo) you dont have a chance to play any baseball.Just a suggestion because today women are coming foward to get what they want and not wait around for the guy to do things.
At this point though, just have to wait and make your decision if he is intrested. Try using my guide line in the future if you take it into your own hands, I think men that arent threatened by women being assertive would react favorably to women asking | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:19:11 AM | | The ball is in his court, it's up to him to contact you at this point. If you don't hear from him, I would suggest that you leave it alone. I'm from the "old school" and the term "hanging out" is a little casual for me, it sounds totally non committal. Wishy washy. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:37:39 AM | What he meant when he said that he wasn't sure if he was busy or not...was " I am not sure because there is another woman who is a priority over anyone else...I have to wait and see if her and I are going to hook up first..."
You my dear...are option #4.
Its so obvious.....otherwise, if he really wanted you..he would be pursuing you HARDCORE. Its a bad sign if a man hasn't called by the weekend..a man who really wants you will book a date in advance....if you don't have something arranged by Wed for a weekend get together...he is either treating you very casually while he is seeing other women or he is not all that serious about you and just wants to "hang out" when it is convenient to him. Even if he calls you the following week, you're still not a priority to him. I have been in that position before....I decided to cut off all contact with the guy. Why place someone as a priority when you're only an option? Don't wait for him....make your own plans and live your life. I no longer put up with men who waste my time...and you shouldn't either. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:53:50 AM |
What he meant when he said that he wasn't sure if he was busy or not...was " I am not sure because there is another woman who is a priority over anyone else...I have to wait and see if her and I are going to hook up first
Only problem with this statement is its a double standard, your making an assumpti0n hes doing the same thing you suggest her not to do, that is waiting around for a confirmation from a women. I dont think that is so, he just may have had prior plans, not maybe if plans. I would also forget anyone that delays plans like this, he obviously isnt giving you the same curtiousy you gave him four days ago. I would text him and withdraw your invitation, something came up. Everyones time is important and should't take others for granted regardless of man/women | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:33:40 AM | You are right at the age where people should START to act like grownups, and be making clear cut plans to avoid the kind of worry you have. Neither of you did that here. He might be completely uninterested in you, or he might be slightly interested, but a total space cadet about planning, or he might be too shy to plunge in and take the reins. I suspect the not-that-interested option is most likely, given your description.
As for general advise for the future with other such situations, please PLEASE do NOT listen to anyone who tells you how to GAME someone. Playing games only APPEARS to make relationships move forward, because they cause enough confusion to drag out the contact with each other. They actually create additional problems and walls between people, which have to be torn down painfully later, if a real relationship is to work.
The best advice I can give, is to develop and use clear communication skills yourself, from the beginning. When someone expresses interest, respond immediately that you require definitive plans, in order to plan your day. This isn't rude, it's simply logical. Anyone who is actually interested, will find this to be extremely encouraging. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:55:40 AM | ^^^^^^
Krebby,
I don't think that texting is just for "little people". Some times a short message by text tells someone that you care about them or are thinking of them. It could be they are in a meeting, teaching, or otherwise engaged and a text message is a less obtrusive way to say: "Hi, miss you. . ."
M | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:51:14 AM | 
Aww geez, of course Mirabelle
Let me see if I can git outer this one. What I meant to say, yeah, if you know someone and the relationship is going and whut not, a text message now and then like Miss you, the kissy icon,  , and whut not is a nice break on a busy day BUT that's when things are going steady.
When it's critical to communicate, my suggestion is that texting, or twitter, ain't a gonna git er done. And, in the case described, voice communication might be a better medium so as to guage whether this guy is interested or not. In fact, were it possible, and if the interest was great enough, a physical meeting (to talk, not salsa), might be even better.
That's why executives prefer to travel long distance for an important meeting rather than handle things over some other medium of exchange. | |
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| should i text him, or just wait?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:51:05 AM | Also Krebby,texting is for those people like myself,who have hearing impairment and there for cannot make voice calls  | |
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