| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:05:42 PM | I've never done this before and would appreciate some help to improve my profile. I wasn't really sure how to deal with the fact that I'm separated. I don't want to scare off someone that might otherwise be interested, but I also want to be up front and honest.
Thanks! | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:27:41 PM | | I think you should add what you are looking for in a woman... and why not just say divorced - I mean you are literally almost there or at least word it differently and leave out some of the details. less is better. "will be officially divorced in the new year" would prob suffice for that. good luck | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:49:11 PM | Thanks for the input js09. I'll put some thought into what I'm looking for in a woman.
So you don't think it's misleading to say I'm divorced when it 's not yet official? I think honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship and I don't want to ruin any potential relationships because someone felt I was trying to hide something.
Thanks again for the help! | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:24:39 PM | No way do not add divorced if you are not....honesty is the best policy if you seriously want to meet someone. She would find out you weren't divorced and then have to wander what else you lied about.
I liked your profile, I liked the paragraph form of it making it easy to read,.
You come across as a dad who is involved with and proud of his kids. That's a good thing!
The only things I would like to see there would be more interests, everything you have in that category is sedentary. Giving a longer list in my opinion gives the reader more to go on and could be a deal maker or breaker for women.
For instance if I see 'hunting' as an interest I'll pass on that guy and I would rather find out now then go on a date and have him tell me all about his stuffed head collection.
Get what I mean jelly bean?
Add things like music you like (don't list bands) just say "old rock", "country" etc, don't be afraid to list all you like it shows how open minded you are ...or not!
Add your two fave shows and movies, gives us more on who you are.
Think about... it I am sure there is much more to you than what you list there so don't be afraid to go nuts.
Just add things to your interests list mind you, not the body of the profile.
The only thing you need to add there is give an idea of what kind of woman you are looking for.
Unfortunately and I hate to say this but being so recent in your separation many women will fear "rebound" and not be interested in being the rebound relationship.
We've all been there done that!
Hope this helps
Cheers
A | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:33:23 PM | Hi
I know what you mean when you talk about honesty. I think the previous poster is right (and I just mentioned this in an earlier thread) by suggesting that you write divorced. Separated is techincally still married and that puts you in the "not (yet) available" box. However, having said that, you do need to explain somewhere in your profile that it's not "official" yet, but that you have been separated for the past X months/years, that the proceedings for the divorce are in place, and that you truly have moved on. In this case hopefully women will forgive you for the initial deception.
The first four pictures are kind of repetitive and boring. You need a headshot of you smiling and showing off those amazing eyes of yours (as hinted on by picture #2)!
The only other things that struck me were the abundant use of "I" when starting off a sentence, as well as all the emoticons. Can't decide if I am OK with that. Then again, whatever works for you!
Good luck and happy fishing!
PS: I respectfully disagree with Angel. Listing genres without a couple of examples is just a boring read and doesn't give me anything to sink my teeth in. A couple of band names that you like most is surely a good thing to include in your profile! | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:13:21 PM | Not sure where the above poster is going with the divorce thing. Are you suggesting he lie now and ask for forgiveness later?
Don't to it man it's just plain dumb to start with a lie unless you are happy to find a liar yourself.
You sure changed that profile fast, however you did leave out all info of your separation so you may want to add at least the impending divorce time line.
There was one more thing you changed that really bugged me.....THIS.... " especially my two boys playing baseball. I even help out as an assistant coach on my younger son's team. He's quite a little ball player!"
If I were your daughter and I read that I would be horribly hurt.
Not to say you shouldn't have that in there but what about the girls?
Now you look biased!
You still don't have an interest list that is interesting and yes you can add a couple of bands to give examples but don't list your entire CD collection like some do.
And as for these guys...     
I think they're cute and if you don't over use them which you didn't in MHO then they give an example of your fun nature and also help break up paragraphs.
So happy
for now
I'm gonna go get
 Baby!
A | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/8/2009 11:29:50 PM | You should NOT have pictures of your kids on your online dating profile.
You should, however, replace those with pictures where you're actually smiling. | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:59:13 AM | Thanks for the input.
I've seen a lot of women's profiles with pictures of their kids so I thought that's what women wanted to see.
So ladies, should I lose the pics of my kids? Are pics of me with my kids ok? | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/9/2009 9:40:38 AM |
I've seen a lot of women's profiles with pictures of their kids so I thought that's what women wanted to see.
Wow.
That has got to be the worse reason I have ever seen someone use. It's okay to post pictures of your children on the internet and on an adult dating website because other women are also irresponsible enough to not protect their own children's identities and safety? That's just retarded.
Maybe you should show you have the maturity that those other women don't, and just put up pictures of yourself.
Besides, your profile should be about YOU, not your kids. Pics of you doing things, smiling, being active, will get you a lot further than just standing around with kids.
The pics are also worthless because they're not clear shots of you. Grainy photos get one no where.
And a picture from 2006? For online dating that's way too old.
Besides your pics, it's going to be a huge red flag to women that you're 46, willing to date a 25 year old, but not open to dating a 49 year old.  | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:18:28 AM | Although I appreciate your honesty, your name calling shows your lack of maturity.
I'm asking for help here. If you can't provide it in a constructive manner, don't provide it at all. | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:25:19 AM | 1. I never called you a name.
2. Help was given in a constructive manner.
3. I wont be taking any advise on the topic of "maturity" from a man irresponsible enough to post pictures of his children on an adult website meant for dating. | |
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| Hmm...it needs something (please be gentle)
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:25:57 AM | Sorry if I got a little defensive. If your input is truely offered to help then it 's appreciated.
I think I understand your comments about posting pictures of kids. But if I don't give out names or addresses I don't feel I'm being irresponsible. They're just pictures. I'm proud of my kids and would never do anything to hurt them.
I really would like to hear some more opinions on my profile or anything from above.
Thanks. | |
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