| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:12:31 AM | | I'd like to ask you guys is it harder for you to let your selves go and fall in love after you reach 30 0r 40(s)? Do you love in a different way and what comes first. I see here that lots of middle aged guys are still looking for their so called- soulmate but I am not sure they really mean it. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:48:45 AM | Didi,
I don't think age has much to do with it other than people aren't quite so idealistic & sometimes they don't think a relationship is worth all the work - but, yeah, they still feel the same old butterflies as they always felt! | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:08:48 AM | | Depends on if you learn from experience. I mean naturally if you are single for not finding the right person, as opposed to having a spouce pass away. It all depends on the circumstances, just like with single women. I dont think there is an age limit on ones ability to love. If you enter toxic relationship, then there is a tendency to repeat the same thing till you learn from it. Once you learn from it, you still can love again just you are now looking for something different, a different kind of love, non toxic love. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:58:40 AM | I agree with the prior posters ... it's not about age, it's more about life experience. Yes, it is possible to "fall" ... but once you know how much it hurts to hit the ground, you're not likely to "jump" right in again. People learn to recognize the "symptoms" and will often adjust their behaviours to offset the "gravity" of the situation, like wearing a parachute.
In your youth you tend to rush through many of life's experiences, but as you age, you learn to savor the experiences much more as it allows them to be fuller and more enriching. So, is it more difficult, not really. But, the process certainly slows down as you become more experienced in life. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:15:13 AM | The falling part never changes. What you do about it does. When you're young, you think that when you feel that wonderful feeling, it means you should pursue the person, that something was meant to be, that they might be 'the one,' etc.
After you've been through it a few times, hopefully, you realize that the feeling of being in love is entirely inside YOU, and has little if anything to do with the bigger picture of the world you live in. It's a wonderful feeling, but it does NOT mean that the person you feel it for is 'perfect for you,' it does not mean that you belong with them, it doesn't necessarily mean they are even aware you exist.
You can have the same feeling for someone on TV that you have for someone directly in your life, and sometimes you'll see some poor celebrity, or even just the hot guy or girl in the school, get stalked by someone who thinks that because they fell in love, that they should have a life together.
Someone who has matured to the point where they truly understand this, can have a crush on someone, and just enjoy that feeling, but recognize at the same time that the person they feel it for is incompatible in ways that make a relationship unwise.
As for looking for a 'soulmate' (gwaud, I HATE that phrase), that's a different thing entirely. I'm looking for a reliable, long term, loving person whose character and life patterns and goals will mesh well enough with mine that we can have a very good time living together, having lots of wild sex, and dealing with the ongoing challenges and adventures that make up the rest of our lives. That's a tall order to fill, and it's complicated. Those of us who have been through all we have to get here, SHOULD be more careful about risking our time and our resources with someone just because they get our juices going. I know I am. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:03:28 AM |
I'd like to ask you guys is it harder for you to let your selves go and fall in love after you reach 30 0r 40(s)?
To be honest, I've found it's actually gotten easier to love, but falling in love or finding the right person has not really changed. I've never been prone to fall in love with just anyone. All I know is that when I do finally find her, I'm pretty much as ready as I've ever been... probably even in a better place than I would have been say 5 - 10 years ago. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:36:41 AM | | I think it's a very individual and personal thing. I used to fall in love quite easily in my late teens / early twenties but these days not so much. I suppose as you get older you get less idealistic and more pragmatic about life. I'd love to love again because being in love with my ex-partner was the happiest time of my life. I don't know if it will happen again but I will know for sure if it does. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:26:38 AM | | I sure hope that I can fall in LOVE again. I'm just afraid to because I 've been there and rejection hurts. I fell in LOVE at a very early age and now that I'm older, supposedly wiser, I'm still scared of falling in LOVE again. Don't want to go through the heartbreak thing again, I guess | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:10:14 AM | I have found that most of the divorced men I've met have become rather bitter, either due to child support, losing their house, etc. Its perfectly understandable but because they are not over their 'ex', they aren't likely to fall in love anytime soon.
Yet the few I've met who have taken time to be on their own, and to fully heal, are much more emotionally ready. If they aren't emotionally ready, its never going to happen.
Personally, I don't think its any harder to actually fall, if one meets the right person. What's harder is the the 'pool' is smaller. Its all a numbers game. There are far more single, emotionally available men in their mid to late 20's than there are at my age range (40's - 50's) because so many are already married or are not emotionally ready.
HR  | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:13:54 AM |
I see here that lots of middle aged guys are still looking for their so called- soulmate but I am not sure they really mean it.
I can't answer for 'lots of middle aged guys', but I, personally, mean it.
Really. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:13:44 AM | At 40, you are less inclined to the bullshit and more inclined to keep it moving at the first sign of trouble.
People will say what they believe and some will say things that they think others want to hear just to get that foot in the door. It is up to the person on the other side of all that and the receiving end if they are truly living up to their word when in the relationship and just how serious they really are. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:20:59 AM |
is it harder for you to let your selves go and fall in love after you reach 30 0r 40(s)?
Just as easy to let go.
Harder to get suckered. Harder to ignore warning signs. Harder to look past character or personality traits we know will be a problem eventually. Harder to accept the unacceptable. Harder to justify investing time, energy and money down a rathole with a carbon copy of something we've seen before.
Experience is a very thorough instructor.
The key in older, wiser men -- as opposed to those who still act like teenagers -- is the power and application of discernment. In that regard, yes, it is harder to fall in love. We will not settle for women who act like children, and a real Lady is pretty hard to find -- because smart men keep them happy and thus taken.
Do you love in a different way and what comes first.
Friendship comes first. Then love. Then sex.
I see here that lots of middle aged guys are still looking for their so called- soulmate but I am not sure they really mean it.
A woman with a soul would be a good start. We'll investigate the mate part as we get to know one another. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:21:39 PM | OP, I don't think its harder to all again. It can be just as intense or more.
There's almost a novel that could be written on just that one previous sentence.
Still if you're asking whether guys hold back more in a relationship. Well that's probably true. - | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:47:54 PM | No, you are just less prone to the same stupid mistakes that you've made when you were younger.
Finding a soulmate is a vague statement. Different people mean different things by it. Ask what it means to them. With my definition of soulmate, I wouldn't want to be involved in a romantic relatoionship with one. | |
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| Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:23:37 PM | I think it is harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age.
The whole biochemical/brain chemistry thing is set for the young. It's all about passing on your genes. I fell in love with a girl I was standing behind in a movie line when I was 15. The infatuation chemicals just don't kick in the same way. | |
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