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| Here goes nothing, advice needed
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:13:27 AM | So, after being on this site for about the last six months I have finally decided to put together a legit profile. I feel that I have effectivly explained myself and what I am looking for, but i would also like a couple of second opinions. This is the part that you come in. So , I am asking that you would please take alot and give me any advice that you may have, in order to make my venture here a fulfilled one. I appreciate it Thank you in advance!
Mike | |
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| Here goes nothing, advice needed
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:38:34 AM | I didn't read the entire thing because its 2 miles too long, shorten it up!
Seriously get a job you like and change it from slacker - its very unattractive to have a job that you don't like, isn't going anywhere and it sounds like you may not be motivated to change that by going to school.
other than that from what I read you sound like a good guy. | |
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| Here goes nothing, advice needed
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:24:49 PM | Hi Mike,
Your main picture should preferably be a headshot. You already have a great smile, but ditch the photos taken in the mirror and get a decent main pic. Your third one would be great for a main pic if it were minus the sunglasses.
Pictures of you with attractive young women are normally discouraged. You can probably get away with just one, but it's not a great idea so if you upload anymore, make sure you cut your girl friends out :)
'Slacker' is not a profession. It immediately makes me think you must be unemployed - if you are then I'd recommend a couple of lines in your description just to light-heartedly explain what your plans for the future are - try to make it sound like you actually have a plan, not something like 'I don't really know where I'm going'.
I am random
I've never liked lines like this - it's not random to set out to be random, it's a self-defeating statement.
OK, if you have made it this far, then I am going to assume that you may be interested in reading a bit more about me. So this is the part where I am going to tell you why I am here.
No real need to say any of this, just go ahead and say what you're going to say.
Plus, it may just be me but, most people are stupid and I don’t really like ignorance, though writing that may make me seem like an ass, its true.
Yeah, it does. 'Most people are stupid' makes you sound arrogant. I'd just delete this line, it's got a horrible vibe.
I would like to find someone that is real
As opposed to.... a blow up doll? It's a huge cliche to put 'I want someone real' on your profile, especially since no one ever makes a conscious decision to be 'fake'. This won't weed out anyone who actually is like this, so don't spoil your own profile with negatives by trying to warn them off.
Other than those few lines, you have a lot of good, upbeat stuff. A lot of the men who come here seem to have an attack of 'nothing to write about' so it's nice to see someone who knows how to talk about himself :) | |
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| Here goes nothing, advice needed
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:43:26 PM | | Thank you both. I appreciate the reviews. I think in looking back over everything that both of you wrote I have made some decent adjustments. I totally agree JS that the profile was too long. Too much filler. But sometimes when I get going, I cant seem to stop. Again, thank you both very much, if in this revision you have any other ideas, please let me know. Thanks again. | |
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| Here goes nothing, advice needed
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:44:02 PM | Hi Michael
I'd reupload all pictures and fix the thumbnails. And I don't mind seeing you in photos with girls, as long as there's an explanation to go with it. If it's your sister, co-worker, neighbor or whatnot, that's cool. Ex-girlfriends probably not so much. Just write who they are in the caption.
"Slacker" has got to go. Seriously. Same with "I am random". You heard that before and it was good advice.
The first two paragraphs contain a lot of sentences starting with "I". Can you rearrange them a bit? Lastly, your profile could benefit from a bit of grammar and spell-checking. It's not that bad but doing this would smooth out a few bumps here and there.
Good luck and happy fishing! | |
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