| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:54:17 PM | | Okay, here is my dilemma. I have just started going for my bachelors in education and the way that our program is set up is that all the students are in the same classes, basically the same people in the same classes at the same time. Anyway, there is this one girl that I have gotten pretty cool with. I kinda have a little crush on her, a "schoolboy crush" if you will. I haven't said anything yet partly because I'm a little bit shy but mainly because she had a boyfriend. However, yesterday she told me in almost passing conversation that they broken up. Now I'm just trying to figure out what and when to say something or if I should even say something. What should I do? | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:57:15 PM | | I would wait. Continue being friends and see how it goes. You don't want to be the rebound. Once you know more about why they broke up etc. You can ask her out. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:57:54 PM | | If you do ask her out be aware that you will more than likely be a rebound for her if she is just moments out of a relationship... | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:09:57 PM | | OP: I would she continue being friends, and see if anything flourishes. She just got out of a relationship and may not be ready for a new relationship. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:18:30 PM | | I definitely wouldn't ask her out right now. At best, you'll end up being a rebound. You might try to up the friendship status a bit though and see if you can hang out with her (and other people) outside of class. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:52:13 AM | | Be careful and wait for a bit. There's nothing worse than being the sloppy seconds and you certainly don't want to be that! Keep your connection mellow for now. She might have some personal things to sort out for herself first, before she decides to jump into another relationship. (Good luck on your career....we need good teachers!) | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/18/2009 7:56:22 PM | What's this "say something"? Do you mean ask her out? If you want to ask her out to get to know her better then ask her to coffee or hang out to study. It doesn't have to be a big planned date to spend time getting to know each other better.
One thing is for sure, unless you get decisive be prepared to miss out. Think of it as making a new friend. Don't look for romance. If it happens, it happens. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/19/2009 7:44:43 PM | | If you want to be more than friends now is not the time. If you want to be the shoulder she crys on and be there for here ask her for coffee, but the first guy a girl hangs with after a big break up is just the rebound man it seldom goes further than that. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/19/2009 9:10:31 PM |
To ask her or not to ask her...What should I do?
Well, if you ask her, you might get to go out and get to know her better.
If you don't ask her, you won't. And someone else might ask her. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/19/2009 9:53:23 PM | Breaking from the bulk of the pack here and agreeing with zephyr. Ask her out. Be very clear that you mean it as a date. It'd be okay to say, "Hey, I'm sorry to hear you and Jerkface broke up, but, kinda glad too, because now I can ask you out," or something like that.
If she looks downcast, hesitates, gives you, "Um...," that sort of thing, tell her you understand she may not be ready to date just yet, you just wanted to submit it for consideration, and you'll be delighted as always to see her [whenever you are likely to see her next]. G'day, walk away.
If, on the other hand, she says yes, hey, great! Oh, and have a definite plan for a date in mind in case she says yes or asks what you had in mind. Saturday in the park, dinner Sunday, a local pub concert you're already going to anyway, whatever, it doesn't matter, just have a plan.
The break-up may well have been a long time coming, or, conversely, they may not have been all that serious. In either case, if you appeal to her at all, you could well have a good shot without suffering from rebound syndrome. Only way to find out is to try.
Good luck! | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:28:10 AM | If you're close to her, to the extent where you knew the progress of her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, then wait for a definitive indication.
If your relationship has to this point been casual, meaning talk about school, the weather and such, then her making a point of telling YOU about the breakup IS a definitive indication. Ask her out. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/20/2009 12:09:45 PM | I would invite her out with you and some friends for right now. That would be the next step.
I've also never been a fan of the "just let things happen" philosophy. I find that's the dating equivalent of a game of chicken. Who's going to ask who out first always leads to nothing happening. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/21/2009 11:52:01 AM | | When opportunity knocks, you either answer or you let it walk away. She's newly single. It's knocking, buddy. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/21/2009 1:52:11 PM | | Wait a bit but if you wait too long she'll think of you as just another one of her girlfriends. | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:38:44 PM | | When you go to school, you go to learn and dig yourself into knowledge. Not for dating, strictly education only, that's what someone told me! | |
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:42:45 PM |
When you go to school, you go to learn and dig yourself into knowledge. Not for dating, strictly education only, that's what someone told me!
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| To ask her or not to ask her
Posted: 11/22/2009 6:53:40 PM | I just wanted throw something into the mix that I just sort of realized today. This is my first semester of a two year program. Which means that if something goes wrong in the friendship now, it'll be this way for two years!!!!  | |
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