| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:22:54 PM | | Im just wondering is it ok to be in a relationship but still meet people of the opposite sex and go out with them for drinks. Personally I think its inappropriate, friends of the opposite sex that you had before you got into a relationship are fine, but meeting a new guy or girl at the bar or online and getting their number to go out with them for drinks as just "friends" just doesn't seem right to me. What are your thoughts on this? | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:33:28 PM | So once I enter into a relationship, I'd be scrutinized regarding the friends I would make? I think that's unfair.
Though I will say if I were in a relationship, I would not secretly meet people... I would of course include my partner as well... if that wasn't enough and he still felt the urge to curtail my socializing, then we wouldn't be a good match. | |
|
| |
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:44:08 PM | ^^^^^^^^^ anybody dating you my dear, should carry a life insurance policy, and better be not tooo emotionally sensitive.
OP it all depends many women I've been with it's OK for them to associate with men!
But if I'll have Women that I talk to and are much better looking then them all their insecurities and assumptions come to life.
It's like a double edge sword, it cuts both ways. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:45:18 PM | Everyone knows that it's ok if women do this, but not men...
... duh....
... ask pretty well any woman, she'll tell ya it's just one of her many guy friends, 'cause all of her guy friends are JUST friends...
 | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:45:34 PM | | well, this is a toeing the line kind of question for me, in way i feel as it should be alright since I am a secure man. On the flip side I am going to wonder why does this person feel the need to pursue something of the such, then again you can't control who comes into your life, so basically I am going to say it depends on the circumstances. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:56:35 PM | You're "in" a relationship, or you're exploring the possibility of one?
If you're in one for real and are meeting opposite gender people online or at bars? Doesn't sound like someone in a relationship. Sounds single.
If it's the potential for one but isn't t yet by either party ; that's not the same thing. Saying you are ok meeting someone but letting them know you are exploring the beginnings of a connection with someone and until you know where that is going, you don't want to meet with any expectations for anything but friends until you know where that one is going so they don't feel like they're wasting their time; and he's cool with it too, I think that's ok. as long as you both are ok with it (you and the other possible relationship person).
But the second it turns into an actual, relationship; no I don't think it's kosher. That's usually what turns into cheating.
imvho.
(just read the rest of these; and I am not saying ditch friends had previously; yes I do have guy friends who are just friends, and I have no problem with guys who have friends who are women; but deliberately going out to meet women at bars or online after in a relationship? (or a woman deliberately going out to meet a guy online or in a bar) does sound a little red flaggish to me... again only in my lowly humble opinion :) | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:56:54 PM | One would wonder why this person is going out with other people of the opposite sex that they met online and getting their number for drinks and such if they have someone to do that with already.
Different when that person is going out with a group that they knew already but to be doing that on the down low would look suspicious. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:05:12 PM | Hmm, you're in a relationship but you meet a new guy/girl at a bar and exchange numbers to meet again at a later date for *drinks*. That sounds like dating to me.
I understand the *friends* thing and why be limited on meeting new people, but if I was out with my girlfriends and met a guy who then asked for my phone number to go out for drinks later as friends, I would simply say *sorry but I'm with someone already* or *sure, my boyfriend would love to meet you*.
Yes, it's inappropriate and disrespectful (to your SO) to be meeting others in a bar or online and then go out for drinks with them. Of course, I'm pushing 40 and old-fashioned! | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:17:34 PM | | For me I have no problem that my partner go out with her guy friends that she had before we met so long as we are introduced and I do not get that, this guy is a creep feeling. I have girlfriends that are just that, if something were gonna happen between us or them it probably already would have. I believe that we cannot help who we fall in love with, like I can never be with a woman and tell her I'll never fall in love with another woman, there is no guarantee that if I meet a woman friend and we are going out for drinks occasionally that my emotions will not arise for her. So in order to stop that from happening it is best that I not put myself into such a position and vice a versa. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:22:34 PM |
You're "in" a relationship, or you're exploring the possibility of one? See... I don't get this... why is going out with someone for a drink or two in a bar exploring the possibility of a relationship? I don't see it as such...
To me, it's just going out with a friend for a couple of drinks... I would have no problem if my s/o joined us because there would be absolutely nothing to hide. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:23:08 PM | Do you mean still go out to meet UP with people and have drinks? Or go out to MEET people for drinks?
If you're in a relationship, I don't think you should be going out with the express purpose of meeting new people to date, UNLESS that's the terms you both agreed on.
However, there's nothing wrong about just going out to meet friends at the bar for drinks, male or female. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:24:39 PM |
If I were in a relationship and out with friends, I would NOT be taking a man's number or giving mine out. UNLESS it were for networking and/or work-related purposes. If that were the case, my S.O. would be with me when I did meet this person. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:26:41 PM | I think it would depend on the circumstances. I have wound up with friends here and have given little thought to whether they are male or female, and if I met them after I was in a relationship and liked them and wanted to get together for a drink because I considered a man a friend, that shouldn't be a problem but I would certainly also include my SO unless there was some reason he wasn't free.
I can't perceive going to meet someone that I barely knew or someone I had met at a bar and again, I would probably be like you need to meet this guy, he was hysterical or whatever.
If you are encountering this I don't think it is particularly normal although I guess not necessarily indicative of a problem either. Depends on whether the person in question is trustworthy or not. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:43:06 PM | | To be more specific, my ex and I broke up because this was such a huge problem in our relationship. She thought it would be ok to meet new men , be it online or at the bar and go out with them at a later time while I stayed home, and or have new men over to the house while I was at work. I'm sorry but there isn't no way in hell that my woman is going to have men I don't know over to our house while I'm working. Let alone go out with them to drinks while I'm sitting at home. To me someone doing that is looking for something else, if that is the case one should be single. Coworkers getting together after work for a drink, by all means have a great time, but to meet up with this guy or girl that you just have to get to know. It doesn't seem right, that is like me coming home and saying "Hey baby I just met this really great girl at the bar last night when me and the boys were out, and I wanna go have drinks with her tomorrow?" Does that sound right? | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:49:54 PM | The way you first explained it, I didn't see the s/o sitting at home while the other person was going out all the time. You left that important detail out... as well as that they were invited to the home only while you were at work...
Of course that is wrong... by no stretch of the imagination would it be acceptable to hide friends of the opposite sex from your significant other.
Would have been nice to have that information at the beginning. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:53:07 PM |
To be more specific, my ex and I broke up because this was such a huge problem in our relationship. She thought it would be ok to meet new men , be it online or at the bar and go out with them at a later time while I stayed home, and or have new men over to the house while I was at work. I'm sorry but there isn't no way in hell that my woman is going to have men I don't know over to our house while I'm working. Let alone go out with them to drinks while I'm sitting at home. To me someone doing that is looking for something else, if that is the case one should be single. Coworkers getting together after work for a drink, by all means have a great time, but to meet up with this guy or girl that you just have to get to know. It doesn't seem right, that is like me coming home and saying "Hey baby I just met this really great girl at the bar last night when me and the boys were out, and I wanna go have drinks with her tomorrow?" Does that sound right?
Oh hell no! Totally disrespectful, and out of line for someone in a relationship.
I think you did the right thing, by breaking up your relationship. Just makes no sense what she was doing. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:01:56 PM | People in relationships should not be spending one-on-one time with members of the opposite sex in what could be considered a date setting. It's bad news. It can invoke jealousy, at the least, and that's not loving, it's mean. At the other extreme, some people have been known to cheat.
Meet them with your significant other or in a group setting... there is no excuse for not being able to do this. Besides, love does not hear excuses. Do you smell what I'm cooking?!
Look, relationships are not free... they require some work... consider this one of the required chores.
You can't just do whatever the heck you want... it's a partnership.
Honestly, some of you people are like little kids... do I have to tell you everything? LOL! | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:36:39 PM | | I don't have this problem... if I meet a woman in a bar, it's likely to be no issue because my girlfriend is probably going to be standing right beside me... and I make it that WE are together.... | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:20:18 PM |
Everyone knows that it's ok if women do this, but not men...
I know this was written in jest, but it is not untrue, in reality. Since men don't have to have emotion to screw around with someone, I think it's easier for them to rationalize and then cheat. Usually, once you lose a woman emotionally, the relationahip is over, anyway. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:47:26 PM | Everyone knows that it's ok if women do this, but not men... I know this was written in jest, but it is not untrue, in reality. Since men don't have to have emotion to screw around with someone, I think it's easier for them to rationalize and then cheat. Usually, once you lose a woman emotionally, the relationahip is over, anyway.
(enter Varth Duder)[raspy, Aqua-Lung intake of breath]...the female has taken a small step, finally, towards the Dark Side....
... [Aqua-Lung exhale]...
... [Aqua-Lung inhale]...
"But, she still thinks like a female.... [inhale]... forgetting that all men... [exhale]... also...[inhale]...
..... have... emotions exactly the same as women...
... [exhale for a long time]...
... [big airy inhale]....
... and the vast majority of men get just as hurt when fvcked around....
... [sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..................]
... as, women do.... and don't really rationalize ANYTHING more than women do...
...[intake]...
... in fact, In My Opinion, women are the UBER-Rationalizers of bad behaviour when it comes to relationships...
....[exhale]
| |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:54:57 PM |
corrupt247 wrote:Im just wondering is it ok to be in a relationship but still meet people of the opposite sex and go out with them for drinks. Personally I think its inappropriate, friends of the opposite sex that you had before you got into a relationship are fine, but meeting a new guy or girl at the bar or online and getting their number to go out with them for drinks as just "friends" just doesn't seem right to me. What are your thoughts on this?
So if a woman meets a man and he is nothing but a new friend and he knows she is in a relationship, that she shouldnt meet for drinks or dinner? Guess it depends on what the word trust means to a person.
When I was married (to an awesome man) he would meet up with female friends we had, and have dinner and talk business. And I would meet up with male friends and do the same. On one AOL medical professionals private chat room I made great male and female friends and would meet one of them and have dinner. They even had a yearly get together in Philly.
Either a man/woman trusts their partner or they do not. As long as there are no secrets thats all that matters to me.
~Beth~ | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:58:42 PM | My friend (male) announced recently he is in love and in a relationship.
That was followed by the news that he is keeping his profile on match dot com
"just in case something happens". When I said what would happen he said
"you never know".
So in other words he will be sneaking around behind her back meeting new
women.
Some people have no concept of the idea of loyalty and fidelity. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:36:37 PM | I thought all women with boyfriends that go out with thier other guy friends are suppose to be "gay". Is it just me or are there an over abundance of gay men that are friends with just your girlfriend. lol
I see no reason to be on a dating site after meeting someone, it distracts from the relationship at hand, I mean what are you doing trying to trade up or straying. Everyone knows its difficult finding someone online, I dont see any need to pursue it. Hiding your profile and chatting with friends you already have is one thing but to pursue others, where in the life do you find time for keeping an ongoing relationship and devoting the time to other new relationships.
Naturally it depends on the relationship you have and the degree of trust both people have in thier partner. I like to be comfortable knowing I can trust her as well as she trusting me. As long as she gives me no reason to not trust her, things are kewl. | |
|
| Going out with the opposite sex while in a relationship
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:38:26 PM | [So if a woman meets a man and he is nothing but a new friend and he knows she is in a relationship, that she shouldnt meet for drinks or dinner? Guess it depends on what the word trust means to a person. When I was married (to an awesome man) he would meet up with female friends we had, and have dinner and talk business. And I would meet up with male friends and do the same. ]
I disagree that it has to do with trust. My ex girlfriend told me "that it shouldn't be a problem if I trusted her." I trust her, I just don't trust emotions; you cannot control who you fall in love with. Even when you are in love with another person your emotions can always betray you and start up with another. All it takes is a moment of weakness in your relationship.
Not to pick at you but I see that when your brought your husbands female friends, they were female friends that you both shared not just some woman he met at a bar or online then told you he was going out with them. I also notice you said you would meet up with male friends but did not add that we had. | |
|
Home
login 
