| | How to do safe cunnilingus??Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Does anyone have any experience with a relatively safe way to give your partner the joy of cunnilingus but reducing the chance of either an oral to genital or genital to oral infection.
I realize that the only real safety would be in joining a monastic order in the alps and even that might not work.
I have seen a number of threads about safe BJs. I have not seen a thread that discusses this specific question.
The dental dam thing seems to be a bit awkward. I"m also not sure where you can get the dang things. They have condom dispensers in the club but dang if I've ever seen a dental dam dispenser.
Would something like saran wrap provide any protection. Also, my guess is that most women would get a little weirded out if you undo a sheet of saran wrap prior to getting cozy.
I would think that something like gargling afterwards would have little to no benefit.
Yes, I am aware of the testing thing. However, in reality, intimacy happens and it would be nice to know if there is something that can provide some margin of safety that would probably be acceptable to your partner.
so, in summary
1. What can reasonably protect against infections from going down on a woman
2. What would women think of using some type of precautions?? | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:13:55 PM | Find out if your local Planned Parenthood has a clinic where they provide dental dams. Otherwise, ask your local public health department. They're not really awkward to use if the communication is good between you. Put some lube on one side and place it lube side down. If you want to use a condom, cut off the tip, cut it up the middle and open it; again, use it lube side down. Flavored condoms would be more palatable.
Gargling will do you no good at all. The common infection you would worry about giving her is herpes if you have a history of cold sores. It's not easy to get herpes from oral sex if she has genital (type 2) herpes. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:50:27 PM | What TOwoman1 said.
The obvious downside to saran wrap would be if it tears, in which case it will provide no protection at all. You'd be better off cutting condoms. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:08:45 PM | I've resisted posting on this thread. The previous posters are my favs when it comes to clinical sexual advice - they are dead on the money... but what bothered me is more from a paranoid 5 second rule kind of perspective. If I'm not comfortable with a partner and/or feel the need for kevlar, I'm not going to enjoy myself no matter how safe I'm being.
Comfort level and communication are key. What I'd like to know is are you doing this because of fear of the unknown or fear of the known... | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:16:17 PM | oral sex is not a very effective way of spreading STDs ..even if you are with an infected person ...if we only had to worry about the infections spread by oral contact ...STDs would be much less a problem
herpes is probably the easiest to transmit orally..and even that is rare
some of the more common less fatal bacterial STDs probably are more easy to catch orally ..but they are 100% curable...viral STDs just dont fare well in the digestive fluids in the mouth
best way to avoid a STD is be selective who you shag ...and dont eat anyone you wont shag | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:32:34 PM |
If I'm not comfortable with a partner and/or feel the need for kevlar, I'm not going to enjoy myself no matter how safe I'm being.
This is one of the reasons I opted for taking my time to get to know the person, and to get her and I tested....
I honestly can't imagine a sex session without oral sex, and I can't conceive of using a condom for it... (anyone get the pun in there....?)
I sure as hell am not sticking my mouth down there with a stranger.... I've seen far too many women leave the bar on a Friday night with one guy and another guy Saturday night... I always wonder about how she tastes to "Mr. Saturday night" | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:42:22 PM | | you can get one of those CPR mouth bags you carry on your keychain..you know for those unexpected encounters that you really cant culture on the spot | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:19:38 AM | The dental dams are available in the condom aisle of your local drug store.
In a discussion about this before someone noted a friend of theirs sent an email to the makers of Saran Wrap asking if it was safe to use and the answer came back emphatically no. There are some major holes in the wrap that allow for the transmission of viruses. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:28:05 AM | Thanks for the replies folks. It cleared a lot up. I also found something elsewhere on the wonderful net about taking a latex glove, removing the fingers but leaving the thumb, then cutting along the pinky side. The result is a barrier with the thumb allowing for some 'tongue in groove' action.
Also, I didnt' realize but the latex gloves have to be the talc free variety. That makes sense.
Anyway, I'll check out the drugstores for the dental dams now that I know what to look for. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:28:16 AM | | deerdog1 days [herpes is probably the easiest to transmit orally..and even that is rare]. The highest number of new cases of genital herpes is caused by oral sex with a person who has a history of cold sores. But it's harder to get the other way; i.e., if the person has herpes-2 on their genitals. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:16:27 AM | I have a friend who contracted genital herpes from unprotected oral sex with a partner, as TOwoman1 mentioned. It does happen.
OP: Aside from the drug store thing, you'll probably find more and cheaper options if you do an online search. You can buy them in bulk, take your pick of vendors and types of dental dams, etc. The good thing about them is that, being only a thin piece of latex, they'd be super easy to slip into anything you're carrying (but remember, if you're using latex, not to put them in your pocket; prolonged exposure to body heat beyond their intended use can wear down the latex and render them ineffective).
Have fun! | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:45:26 PM | | If you don't have a dental dam you can just unroll a condom and cut it down the side. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:04:27 PM | Y'all have to be kidding me here.
Why don't you ask your partner to be tested , that simple.
Making love with all that protection show how sex is view by too many look like, meaning y'all don't like it at all ? Or have no clue what it is about ?
Tried to take a shower with a rain suit when you are at it.
How can you give a woman oral sex, and find out if she come or not ?
That I really what I like to know , because the only way to know is when she come, and I have that certain "sweet and sour taste" on the tip of my tongue when I hit the G spot.
Why not inventing some robots male and female .
No wonder we have so many porn and pervert, maniac and so on, hummmmm people.
Tried to fix a problem , with side effect worst, is not going to work in the long run. Sterilizing Love is just about right ,OMG,what a way to think. Anglo-Saxon Puritans.
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:12:15 PM | | It's not totally safe, nothing is, you will slip up with the protection. Don't kiss, don't lick, don't suck, don't fvuck...keep your clothes on or just don't touch each other. Only safe thing is masturbating without touching each other. Just the sad truth! | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:23:42 PM |
Why don't you ask your partner to be tested , that simple.
Not that simple, they don't test for everything. Someone may have contracted something recently and be infectious but it will not show in testing until later, the antibodies or infectious agent is not yet abundant enough for the tests. Just the sad fact! | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:46:47 PM |
Not that simple, they don't test for everything. Someone may have contracted something recently and be infectious but it will not show in testing until later, the antibodies or infectious agent is not yet abundant enough for the tests. Just the sad fact! Look, Winter's coming... why don't we all just dry hump in a snow suit 'til Spring and then go get tested... sheesh. This is so up there with the 5 second rule... There's "safe" and then there's paranoid.
...And any man that wants to whip out a rubber glove around me better have an MD behind his name or a mop in hand... | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:04:10 PM | | If I was paranoid I would not leave the house. When I drive I use the seat belt almost all the time. When I ride my bicycle I don't wear a helmet all the time. You can't live without taking chances daily and that includes real unprotected sex. If you can't have sex without wrapping your genitals first you don't know what real sex is. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:30:27 AM | | foreverlong says: [If you can't have sex without wrapping your genitals first you don't know what real sex is. ] Tell that to the couple who came into clinic last year: she has HIV; he doesn't. They use condoms and have "real sex". Yes, life is risky. Sex is risky and we all make our decisions about the level of risk we are prepared to accept. Let's not judge people whose level of risk-taking is different than our own. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:16:28 AM |
I also found something elsewhere on the wonderful net about taking a latex glove
Just hope you both are are Latex tollerent... | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:02:54 AM |
Let's not judge people whose level of risk-taking is different than our own.
Thanks... My risk tolerance is a bit lower these days because if anything happens to me, my kid will probably end up in a foster home till he's 18. To assume unnecessary levels of risk would be selfish and stupid on my part.
Does that mean that I am eliminating all risk?? nope, that is impossible. I raised the question in the first place because I just didn't find much info available. If a woman raised the issue, I would like to at least have some knowledge of the situation.
The reality is that bacteria, virii and spirochetes are amazingly efficient organisms. The other reality is that mankind has made very little progress in being able to cure viral infections. No, you can never eliminate all risk, but there is a concept in NBC warfare (nuke, bio, chem) called LD50. That means quantifying the amount of exposure where 50 percent of the people exposed will have received a fatal dose.
Also, for an individual, your risk increases or decreases based on your level of health at the time. If you just brushed off a case of the flu or have not been getting any sleep, then I would think that you are at a higher risk of infection.
If someone wanted to ride bareback in a first date or one night stand situation, then I would have to walk away from it. I just haven't been with any woman over my lifetime that would be worth that risk.
Anyway, to those who chose to partake in higher risk behaviors, that is your business, not mine. Enjoy.. and I mean that sincerely. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:56:12 AM | Good for you for wanting to be safe
I am the same way, only safe sex.
I actually decline when a guy wants to go down on me and let them know I will not do that to them unless we are a monogamous couple that has been tested. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:59:52 AM |
no_1_bby wrote: In a discussion about this before someone noted a friend of theirs sent an email to the makers of Saran Wrap asking if it was safe to use and the answer came back emphatically no. There are some major holes in the wrap that allow for the transmission of viruses.
That was me. Thanks for making note of my post, btw. I wonder sometimes if anybody reads them lol! To be clear, the holes aren't "major" in the sense that you can see them as if they were an avoidable tear. They're talking about microscopic pores that you can't see with the naked eye. They're large enough for a virus to easily pass through though.
Dental dams and condoms have no such pores.
And for the peeps advocating unprotected sex, I don't think anybody is saying we all should use protection indefinitely. But mainly early in a relationship until monogamy is established and enough time has passed so that blood test results can be relied upon. At that point, you'll know for sure who has what and can deal with whatever it is (or isn't) in whatever way is appropriate for your own circumstance. | |
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| How to do safe cunnilingus??
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:42:25 PM | I'm not advocating anything safe or otherwise; what I'm saying is we as a society have become so phobic about germs, viruses, and disease that a lot of us let it rule our day to day actions. I'm all for safe, but we've got to be careful not to become paranoid. It's real easy to end up being the "boy in the plastic bubble"... having said that I'm terrified of people who get cold sores and when I see one brewing on a friend or co-worker's lip, I go into sani-mode around things that they may have touched or used. Bubonic plague would go over better with me than a cold sore - I've got lupus.
In school for a course called the Psychology of Risk, I did a paper on public bathrooms. I called it Scared Shiitless - A Study of Public Bathroom Habits from a Socio and Cultural Perspective... Realistically, thank goodness for those who DON'T always practice safe sex, 'cuz if we treated sex with the same attitude as public bathrooms the human race would die out pretty quick.
Remember it's not always the risk you perceive to be the true danger... | |
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