| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:37:20 AM | Ok so i refuse to date a girl who drinks,smokes, or dose any drugs
I choose to do this becuase my family as been pretty much runied through drug and alcohol addiction,.
I feel though i can never find someone who dose not do any of those things
do you think i should lower those standereds? | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:42:03 AM | | Under no circumstances (lower your standards)! If you have come this far in all that with your head on straight, all I can say is have it your way my young man! Just hang in there. You'll do good. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:48:04 AM | | stick with what youwant m8 there are plenty of good people out there and you will find her | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:59:16 AM | | i know my spelling and grammer suck but thats what happens when you get hit with charis alot, i try my best tho | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:04:46 AM | | Ha ha nice one Jeff, you're the man! (just noticed you're 6'8 and a wrestler, oops!) | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:22:25 AM | I wouldn't worry about a girlfriend. If the lack of ability to spell and use correct grammar are caused by being hit with chairs, then your brain will be pooched by the time you're 25 so you wouldn't recognize the difference between a girlfriend and a stranger on the street.
Problem solved. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:30:07 AM | Op, good for you for having standards 
They are yours...NEVER apologize for them!!! Stick with them. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:49:49 AM | | I suppose it depends on whether your fears are justified. I think drugs and smoking are destructive so that is definitely a good standard to up hold but maybe if a person is a light drinker, it isn't a problem as they aren't heavy drinker and it won't lead to destructive behavior. If you have a problem with alcohol for it's smell or religious beliefs etc etc, that is different but as far as destructiveness goes, you might be able to lower that standard a bit. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:00:16 AM | Yes by all means lower those standards right to the ground. Go out and find yourself the skankiest,dirtiest crack hoe you can find.  Ok just kidding, but I mean come on no one in their right mind is going to want to date a junkie. That has nothing to do with lowering your standards.It's just good common sense to stay away from junkies. If you can't find someone who can't do those things then you are hanging out with the wrong people in the wrong places. Get some new friends and hobbies and you will find better quality people.
I don't blame you for not wanting to date a smoker either. No matter how many mints they eat, Listerine they use or how long they brush their teeth after smoking you can always taste the cigarettes underneath all that. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:14:39 AM | | that choice is for you to make ... i mean you could find someone who does not do any of that heck i dont do any of that... sometimes you just have to look around i mean there is people who dont it's just finding them !!! | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:00:26 AM |
Ok so i refuse to date a girl who drinks,smokes, or dose any drugs
OK....those are your standards,and in the big picture are not unrealistic.That's OK....
It just opens up so many doors for the liars,cheaters,thieves,nymphomaniacal serial daters,HIV positive,skanky looking,"daddy" complex,needy,.....I could go for hours on this......... | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:41:05 AM | Your standards are your standards...IMO they're a bit stringent, especially no drinking at all, but based on your past I can understand it.
In general, there are probably a fair number of women meeting your standards. Thing is, in your line of work I think you're gonna have a VERY hard time hitting all three of these. You will need to make big efforts to really go outside your usual environment to have a good chance - I'm not saying it's impossible, but take a look at your audience! You better start looking in church groups, community colleges, etc. and see what you find there. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:52:33 AM | Your standards seem to be reasonable, but by doesn't drink do you mean
no glass occasional glass of wine with dinner or an absolute teetotaler? | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:02:25 AM | If lowering your standards means being uncomfortable in attempting to tolerate behavior you disagree with, what would be the point? Only you can determine this.
For instance, if being with someone who has a glass of wine now and then results in you fretting about when they will get drunk and create all kinds of chaos in your life, and you react to that fretting by engaging in destructive behavior yourself such as trying to control the situation or getting angry or whatever...I'd say there is nothing good for you in lowering your standards.
But you may not know until you try...
Hmmm...I knew a man one time who, like me, did not want to be involved with a problem drinker. Since many people who are problem drinkers either don't admit it or don't even really realize they are, his tactic would be to have an early date in a place where drinking part of the scene...like a bar...and then observe. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:07:10 AM | No dont lower your standards.
Remember its too easy to find the wrong type because of your familiarity and interacting with them. That doesnt mean you have to make a choice of settling on such a person.
We each make our own choices, stick to what you want for yourself. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:13:26 AM | | No, there is no reason to lower your standards just as there is no reason to pay attention to what idiots who use the letter "x" in their nickname have to say. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:16:01 AM |
Shoud i lower my standereds?
Nope.
However in your line of business and your age, someone stable may be hard to come by. Too many groupies, and individuals wanting to party.
You are still young (in fact younger then my youngest).
You are too young for a steady relationship. Enjoy yourself, see what the world has to offer. Just keep your standards and values...and one day she will appear.
Good luck with that!  | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:26:23 AM | By lowering your standards you lower your expectations. And by doing that, it's not good. I let a few standards "slip" so to speak, and that was a bad thing. I became frustrated because the excuses started chiming in like, "You knew I did this, why is it an issue now?" If people don't meet up to your standards and then you make excuses for dating them anyway, you really have no legitimate recourse or excuse to ask for change later.
And for goodness sakes, don't be like some women who think they can change a person and their habits thorugh time (and good sex) - that's stupid! | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:32:57 AM | Ok Op you have three straight red cards, not red flags, anyone and your for an early bath, your a footy fan so you know what I mean. Drugs, hell no chance with changing that one........... 99% of people will agree with you on. that, I have a very strong view on that myself. Smoking is also a disgusting filthy putrid habit, of weak willed and selfish people (wouldn't think I had a strong view on this either) I point blank refuse anyone who smokes to eneter my home car and be anywhere around me, If I wanted to breath smoke fumes I suck on a car exhaust, even ten minutes after someone has a ciggy you can smell the smoke from their breath ten feet away. So Yes mate I'm with you 1,000,000% on that straight red card................. drink well that is up to you, if it was a bad thing in your life then you have your reasons and you should quite simply stick to them you never have to justify that to anyone...........ever............. don't apoligise for it. Read your profile get a friend to re-do it for you........ you apoligise for too much of who you are..............don't........... you are one big guy, you are young fit and healthy minus the chair smashing bit.......... just do what you love doing and keep an eye open. If you make it big in your sport the problem you will have is chasing away girls from you.  | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:41:24 AM | Lowering standards equates to settling and that's worse thing you can do. I know right now "selfdoubt" is probably screwing with you and it's like a nagging force that won't stop until you give in and forget about what you truly want, but in all honesty it's all "noise".
I say you keep those standards because standards are the blueprints to your happiness. | |
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| Shoud i lower my standereds?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:44:12 AM | Of course you should lower your standards!
Come on, all girls drink smoke and do drugs
This is the 21st century, get with it man
  
I'm just kidding. Stick to who you are. I don't date guys who smoke, do drugs or drinks more than socially. It's one of the things I refuse to accept. | |
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