jslb
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Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 1 | |
| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:04:56 AM | How does one tell if a man is interested.. or better yet HOW he is interested??? I am a very open fun loving happy and friendly person and it has been brought to my attention that I soo dont pick up on it when someone is flirting????? lol I genuninely assume people are just being friendly.. but I dont flirt ..intentionally anyway... If they have a personality simular to mine... any thoughts? This is really hard to put into words.. so does anyone get what Im asking??? Is it friends romantic.. or just a hook up?  | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:09:55 AM | Flirting?? Hook-up?? Just sex???
That is a huge pendulum swing. Which is it?
No, I don't get it unless you are trying to say you met someone and had sex with him.
Now you want to know if he's interested.
I don't know. Depends on how he is acting. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:51:43 AM | It doesn't matter what the man's intentions are if you are not interested to him yourself. I mean so what if they are flirting with you. If you don't flirt with them and simply being friendly I don't see any problem. But if you are interested to the man who is flirting then the best thing is to ask the man himself.
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:40:18 AM | I'd like to know the answer myself.
Here is why...... I met a guy on here, we dated for 9 weeks, he called me every night without missing for 4 weeks, the one night he didn't call he left me a message telling me why and then called the next day to make sure I got the email. He had to go out of town for a few days and left a voicemail telling me he was going to be away and he'd call when he got back.
Then he tells me we are going to take things VERY slow as he isn't ready for the next step, yes we had been intimate by the way, says it's more than friends, I mean a lot to him, he likes me alot etc etc then he says we will always be friends and then I haven't heard from him in 10 days and he won't return my calls.
So, was it friends, a relationship a fb or what? I have no idea because if it was friends as he claimed then why all of a sudden did all the contact stop?
I thought it was flirting and interest but sometimes people do and say things and make others think one thing but all the time they are meaning something different. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:21:25 AM | OP...I don't get what you're asking but I think you claim that you don't recognize a man's interest in you. Pay more attention.
Maesbaby....he chose the woman he met when "out of town" for a few days over you. Sorry. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:21:33 AM | | I can usually tell within the first 10 minutes of a conversation what a guy is after. - If he immediately starts talking about what you are wearing, or being very blatant about sex - favorite positions, preferences, etc. then there is your answer. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:52:57 AM | Some of the smartest, most on the ball people have no clue when someone is flirting with them. I wrote twenty five friendly messages to one woman I know (TWENTY FIVE!) before she suddenly caught on that I liked her like that. And she's brilliant.
As for all the rest of it, you can rarely tell the difference quite as quickly as some would have you believe, which is why taking the time (over multiple conversations and meetings) to get to know someone a bit is the recommended way to tell the difference between "hookups" and actual friendship/romance. You'll get fooled anyway, occasionally, don't feel bad about that. Just be sure to protect yourself in fundamental ways, don't loan out your money or your CD's until they at least buy you a car, and you'll be fine. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:27:13 AM | | If he doesn't get the hook up and still calls, then it's not about the hookup. If he gets the hookup and doesn't call anymore or only calls late at night, it's about the hookup. | |
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| friendship or romantic interest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:37:24 AM | How about this...
Are YOU interested in HIM? Do you want to hook up or date the guys who are flirting with you?
Why do women make it all about what the man wants and not what THEY want?
Just because a guy flirts with you doesn't mean he's even remotely interested in getting into your panties. He could be trying to sell you something, he could just be a flirt, and he could be just being nice.
Before worrying about romantic interest or sex, make sure you're remotely interested in the guy. YOU. Not HIM. You--make sure you are interested enough to want it to be more than friends. | |
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jslb
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Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:38:46 PM | okay a little detail...
met guy .. a few weeks later.. hooked up.. nuff said.. he did most the talking.. i kept it quite unattached.. I didnt even tell my name..
week later hook up.. ect.. a yr later.. now I would say we are friends.. we hang.. text.. he calls i dont.. ( im lazy i dont call anyone..lol) and yes he knows my name now...
almost a year later.. he loves to hang still.. talk.. listen .. but the sex.. laughs.. has kinda tapered off.. Id still classify him in the " friend w benefits" as he has his own life and I have mine.. I was really curious to see others opinions.. laughs since I didnt know that he was flirting in the first place.. | |
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jslb
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Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 12 | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:43:23 PM | | I am not sure what you are asking. However, here's a rule of thumb: men rarely go out of their way to befriend women they're not attracted to. This goes double for younger men. Sure, there are exceptions. But if guy goes out of his way to see you, talk to you, or whatever, there is a good chance he is angleing for some kind of romantic and/or sexual connection. | |
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jslb
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Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:43:25 PM | only a man wouldnt care as long as he was involved in a friendship.. a romantic intrest.. or a hook up! lol seriously.. that made me laugh..
Thanks for all the opinions.. I like the brainstorming and diffrent takes... | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:46:36 PM | | Here's another rule of thumb: for many men, committed LTRs are NOT the ideal situation. For many men, FWB is the ideal situation. They get sex without any of the responsibilities of a real relationship. Once you enter into some kind of FWB situation with a man, don't expect it to go any further. Chances are, he won't want it to. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:54:16 PM | Ok.. first off
Men only pursue a woman they are SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to.
Men DONT want "just friends"
Even an eventual marriage proposal STARTS with sexual attraction..
now.. from start to finish is where YOUR abilities come into play | |
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| friendship or romantic interest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:51:44 PM | I don't know at first, unless the guy is blatant, that's why I date a man for some time before I decide to have sex or get serious about him. It takes time to know the real person and to know if you want to be involved with this person. Sure if I jump into bed or have relationships with strangers, I'm apt to find they aren't who I fantasized them to be. I got tired of doing that  so I learned to take my time and to pay attention, and when it doesn't work out, good to know, I don't spend a lot of time bemoaning the loss of someone I wouldn't want to be with. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:54:48 PM | When they are flirting - it's just that. Flirting. See if they ask you out on a date. And if they do and when they do - ask questions, keep your ears open and believe what they say. First date is your "contract".
I like what WomanInProgress said. So true. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:57:28 AM |
Ok.. first off
Men only pursue a woman they are SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to.
Men DONT want "just friends"
Even an eventual marriage proposal STARTS with sexual attraction..
now.. from start to finish is where YOUR abilities come into play
Brilliant! | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/9/2009 6:26:01 AM | Its just the way somebody says further down this thread.
Make it about what YOU want, not what the other person is trying to put over on you.
If his wants, needs and desires are not in alignment with yours, I suggest you forget about it | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:03:16 PM | thanks for the kudos Xfile. Sometimes I am. Most dont bother to see it.
As soon as women realize that the ONLY reason a man comes up to them in public or in a social situation is that he has ALREADY undressed you in his mind.. and is now inquiring about the necessary steps to get you there.
Men dont want women friends. Men wont pursue friendship with a woman they find sexy where eventual sex ISNT the goal.. Unless it's a moneymaking enterprise.. and even then they'd STILL put the moneymaking in jeopardy for a roll in the hay..
Now ladies.. as much as you want to deny this real TRUTH about men.. Answer me this.. How many of you WANT your man to pursue an allegedly "platonic" friendship with some hottie?
If you MET a man for dating/romance... and he ALLEGEDLY had met several OTHER women at the same time.. all of them reasonably attractive, age appropriate.. and he was actively spending time DOING dating things like dinner, movies.. hangin out.. helping those women with honey-do's on their homes.. but again ALLEGEDLY doing it ONLY out of "friendship"....
How many of you would EMBRACE his pursuit of these "friendships" with these other women?
I already KNOW the answer.. NONE OF YOU.
So since NONE of you would allow YOUR man to pursue an attractive woman for a NEW friendship.. STOP believing that some man wants ONLY to be "friends" with you and DOESNT want sex. We arent wired that way. | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:33:21 PM |
now.. from start to finish is where YOUR abilities come into play
 1kindman4u, can you elaborate?
STOP believing that some man wants ONLY to be "friends" with you and DOESNT want sex. We arent wired that way.
You are 100% correct. That is all that I have ever known.... | |
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| friendship or romantic intrest or just sex??
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:43:44 PM | Maesbaby[[[I thought it was flirting and interest but sometimes people do and say things and make others think one thing but all the time they are meaning something different.]]]
Maesbaby, this is exactly why I wish I could turn lesbian. Another woman wouldn't do this to me. I just know it. | |
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