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Show ALL Forums  > New York  > Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Dan193
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 1
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
If you ask me, I think its like 25 to 1 guys looking to meet on here or any online dating site. I'v tried a few dating sites and to me their all the same.
Any girl that looked decent to nice told me they were getting hundreds and hundreds of responses on here.
I'm just thinking, that their are so many more single guys then single women in NY and thats why you have women getting all these responses.
I know alot of guys complain that women dont respond back to them.
The problem is, these women are getting flooded with responses from guys.
All i got to say is, women got it made!
 CaligirllostinNY
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 2
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/14/2009 7:59:12 PM
Not so quick buddy. Not all women. Not me. I wish!
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 3
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/15/2009 2:06:07 PM
Dan wrote:

>>> I know alot of guys complain that women dont respond back to them.
The problem is, these women are getting flooded with responses from guys. <<<

I know a lot of women on this site and there are a few reasons why women don't always respond. Men and women think differently. While men (and I'm generalizing with all this) are very visual, women are emotional creatures. Men are drawn to a pretty face (the reason so many never read our profiles), but women are usually drawn to someone genuine. Sure, we have to have initial attraction, but there has to be more.

I'm totally turned off by guys who go on and on about how physically fit they are, guys with pics of their muscles, or holding a fish. lol Okay, I like to know someone takes care of themselves and enjoys the outdoors, but I'd like to know the kind of person you are... what you're looking for... what makes you happy... and that you're not just here looking for another notch in your belt.

Sure, we get a lot of emails, but trust me, that doesn't mean we like them. I get a whole lot of emails that say things like, "Hey sexy, looking for someone to have some fun with." Those are overlooked immediately. So are the ones saying things like, "You're hot" or "Looks like you've got some big boobs." And yes, your male counterparts really do send emails like those... a lot of emails like those! I get some that are FAR worse and I can't even imagine a complete stranger ever writing things like that. I for one want to be respected. I want to know the guy contacting me REALLY is looking for a relationship and honestly does want to get to know me. But, the feeling myself and my friends get is one of 'he's emailing as many women as he can in hopes he's going to get as much sex as he can.'

I know that's not the case with all men. So, the respectful and genuine emails always get a response. I hate the fact though that the bad apples really leave a very bitter taste in our mouths. I wish the nice guys could read the emails we get from the ones who are not so nice.

As far as the statistics go, there are 2 women to ever 1 man in Western NY. The problem is, the guys are taking that so for granted, they have forgotten what respect really is.

Trust me, we don't have it made. Just my 2 cents.
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/16/2009 4:05:35 AM
Exactly what Sharzi said. And get this: I was getting just about NO emails until I posted in my headliner that I was UNAVAILABLE. Why would you go after a woman who posts UNAVAILABLE? Yet I have gotten more emails since I posted that than I ever got in the three years before.

And on another thing Sharzi said - why email us if you haven't even read our profiles? You could save yourselves a lot of humiliation if you would just READ. In some of your emails, you clearly show that there was no way you could have read the profile.

And also - the typical "form" email when prospecting a person. Geez, like we don't have the brain to tell a canned prospect letter that gets sent blanket to about 50 women?

I love guys - I do. And I don't go in for the "all men are the same" maxim, but there really are a great many that do the same behaviors [women as well]. And do NOT believe that these gals are getting "hundreds of emails" - that's just ridiculous and braggadocio. Women are just as good at exaggerating as men are. It's not gender specific.

Oh and OP - yes, many of the same people are on here AND the pay sites. Go figure - why pay for what you can get FREE?
 Dan193
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 5
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:09:31 AM
Sharzi, where is Western NY? Is that upstate.
Your probably right about there being more single women then single guys in NY.
But in regular NY. I'm talking NYC, Longisland and Westchester.
There are so many more single guys then single women.
I think this site is 25 to 1 guys looking to meet in regular NY>
There's another free dating site i used to try.
Literally i had lots of women tell me if they placed an ad in the afternoon and then checked 2 hours later to see if they got any responses.
They got like 200 responses in 2 hours.
The few women that did get back to me on here, they all told me they were getting flooded with responses.
Sharzi, goes change your area to Queens or Longisland for a week.
Watch how many responses you get.
I should also point out, when it comes to single white females who look nice.
I'm not talking about stunning looking.
These women are so high in demand by guys, that i think it goes to their heads.
Thats why i think these women on here are getting attitudes.
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/18/2009 2:03:06 PM
"Regular New York"?

We here in Western New York - Buffalo, Niagara Falls, all that - we feel like this is regular New York too. New York City, now that's a way different story.
 ghostryder1970
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 7
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/19/2009 10:45:54 AM
Sharzi,

Not all males send emails about people being hot or about their boobs. I tend to look at a woman's profile and see what common interests we share and then decide to send an email. I think the tough part is that it's too easy for people to just click away to a new person or profile. That's just part of the experience. You just have to keep trying and not give up.

OP:
There ARE plenty of fish out there. You just have to keep putting your line in, and sometimes work on your bait. Never give up, never surrender :) Good luck to you.
 TheUltimateObjectOfDesire
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 8
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:00:34 PM
Hey Dude,
I live in the city and have been using this site for a year already. I come on here a few times a week, introduce myself in a respectful manner to allot of female profiles and I'm still waiting for ONE chick on here to send me a simple "no thank you" response. I know a bunch of women here probably get allot of e-mails a day, but if someone can't take 3 minutes out of their time to write you back, then forget them. They're not worth your time!

Peace,
Carl II
 Dan193
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 9
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/26/2009 11:49:35 AM
TheUltimateObjectOfDesire, i'v been saying the same thing.
As I said, I think the reality is, their are so many more single guys then single women in NY.
I'v tried other dating sites and its the same thing.
The women get flooded with responses and the guys get barely any responses.
Then if your trying to meet a girl your attracted to. Forget it, these women are getting bombarded with responses.
Even going out is bad. Everywhere I go, mainly guys want to meet.
The women go to hang out or have a boyfriend.
 Dan193
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 10
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/26/2009 12:07:17 PM
I should point out, I'm talking about white females.
The women I respond to are 99% white females and the places I go out to has a majority of white females.
I'm starting to think the single women in NY are Black and Spanish women.
Its surely not white females.
I was in Atlanta last year and couldn't believe the amount of single women there.
Its nothing like NY. Plus the women are nice and looking to meet.
 ghostryder1970
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 11
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 11/26/2009 2:18:26 PM
Well, I think it's just so easy to point and click away from a message because they're not dealing with someone face to face. If I don't get a response, I just move on. No biggy.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 12
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 4/17/2010 9:03:26 AM
Dan 193....

Western NY (Buffalo) *is* regular NY too. :)

When I first joined this site, I was getting tons of emails, but I can't imagine it going to anyone's head. Who cares how many emails you get if most of those emails are junk?

I'm here looking for something lasting and genuine... something I may never find, but I'm still hopeful.

I think sometimes women don't answer emails... even to say they aren't interested... because humans are, by nature, often afraid to hurt someone's feelings. Maybe we feel we have nothing in common with that person. Maybe we are not physically attracted to them. I try to answer all the emails I get, but I can understand why some people don't. I guess it has a lot to do with how much honesty means to that person.

Sharzi
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 13
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 4/17/2010 9:10:55 AM
TheUltimateObjectOfDesire...

If you're not getting responses, you might want to reconsider your screen name first. "Object of Desire" might equate to a woman as "he's looking for sex." Also, "chick" is not the most flattering way to refer to a woman.

I know... we women "think too much." Most of us do... we try to see red flags because frankly, we want to avoid possibly getting hurt in the future. Since it seems that the vast majority of men are not looking for relationships and are really only looking to sample every dish in every restaurant, we'd kind of like to weed them out from the get-go.

Sharzi
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 14
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 4/17/2010 9:16:00 AM
Dan 193....

I think part of the problem is not having a picture. 9 time out of 10, it's because the guy has something to hide... a wife, a girlfriend... or thinks he needs to hide how he looks. If you're not laying it right out there on the line, she might shy away from responding. I don't respond to anyone without a picture unless he's got a VERY good reason for not having one... a gov't employee or teacher could be a good reason.
 LCTeddyBear
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 15
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 4/18/2010 11:59:18 PM
The problem as I see it is that women don't even look at the profiles after I send a message to them. At least according to the site they don't (hard to imagine that all six people I've written have their settings set to hide). If I see "read deleted" I move on, especially if they don't even bother to read my profile. I don't know if that is the case with a lot of other guys, but I think if they were serious they would at least look at the profile before clicking that "delete" button. Me, I'll respond to everyone who writes, even if I'm not attracted to the person, because in my eyes one can never have enough friends.
 jldude
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 16
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 1/13/2011 7:02:27 PM
All I got to say is, "how can I send more emails than the rest of the guys?"...
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 2/27/2012 10:03:53 PM
I have to agree with Sharzi.

The results in here have a lot to do with what your real agenda is....
(and depending on what that turns out to be, ultimately, it can't be hidden for too long from genuine people.)
So the clash of agendas dictates the results.

Ultimately, success matches up like-minded people (whtever they're looking for.)
I mean, why try to shoehorn Cinderella's glass slipper onto Godzilla's foot?

I always thought if you employ the same social skills in here (in print) that you use out there in the real world - you're bound to get the same results, eventually.
It should be just one more slice of the same pie.
And we have improved the model. I remember the newspaper lonely hearts ads, and they were ferocious! (never used them - but there was something strangely compelling about the idea of folks writing scented letters adorned with sealing wax...)

Myself, I don't get the impression at all, that men outnumber women in here.
If I were bombarded by missives the way some women say they are, I think I'd probably leave in a hurry though.
So women: my hat's off to your perseverence! (patience, tolerance, forgiveness.....)

Respectful and genuine communication just might fill up that empty mailbox, if you know what I mean......whther nice guys finish last or not - they finish.

2 + 2? (now that's up to four cents)
 KorageHu
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 5/1/2012 10:25:11 PM
y so many white n blk is a betta ques
 sunny_in_therain
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 19
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 9/20/2012 8:50:01 PM
There are more men on this site because of the quality of the men available, or lack of. some married and cheating looking for FWB. some into cross dressing and bondage, some old bikers with very bad attitudes. some crack addicts and meth users, and perverts..yes those too. Seems the pickings are slim. old dudes that are fat phobic meanwhile they need to look in a mirror, men who arent honest showing old photos and worst of all men that arent looking for a committed anything, yet message and met me knowing my profile says looking for relationship. I think Ive met them all. Frankly Im done dating off this site, so I understand why other women arent here. You get 5 bad dates in a row, with men writing beautiful profiles and having nothing to back it up, and it makes us want to run. Forgive me but this site seems to be full of men that have nothing to offer, mentally, physically or emotionally. I found reading their profiles and substituting every nice word they use to describe themselves and using a word that means the total opposite, is much more accurate. tonights chat was with someone who INSISTED we meet, he didnt care what I said, Im not even sure he heard me say no more dating. shrugs
 sinistra
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 20
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 9/21/2012 6:40:46 PM
good question,
there are more women than men in the world,so must be more single women than single men.
do most single ladies simply want to remain single,or are they looking for a partner but not online?
if they are looking elsewhere-then where?
would be interesting to know the answer...
 Lala-lovebliss
Joined: 10/2/2012
Msg: 21
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 1/2/2013 4:39:53 PM
I have to agree with your response. some of the men here lack authenticity. As a man I know it is some of your nature to create the virtual fantasy to women so we can get on the fishermens hook, however what you seem to have forgotten Liberty as in the statue of Liberty is a woman as well as Maat which is the female Goddess that is kemetic symbolism for justice and integrrity. Woman by nature will test a man integrity and his truth. So no matter how many false impressions you put on your profile we are wired to scan the man and see the truth. So please be honest about what you are looking for and you probably may get it. There are women that want no strings attached relationship so be honest with yourselves and write that down. I am so fuddled sometimes a man contacts me and says on his profile ' WANTS NO COMMITMENT OR ANYTHING SERIOUS OR DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN...MY PROFILE CLEARLY READS I WANT CHILDREN AND SRIOUS RELATIONSHIP DUUUUUHHHH. so it is quite tiresome and redundant to keep on rejecting and then some men here are so cute.,,, they use the rebuttle technique and say " i feel like that now that dont mean I will feel like that later....uhh nooo did that done that. Waited on a man to commit guess what, it does not work. I am a very wise woman... I feel sometimes I am too wise for the majority of the men on this site.... why am i still on it, i feel like sanford and son....YA BIG DUMMMAY,
 Rachelg3551
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 22
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 1/3/2013 3:35:00 AM
I feel the same way Lala...The last guy I met and dated on POF Seemed like the whole package...I did my research, though. Something I am sure he wasn't expecting from me. Come to find out, after posting some pics of a gift he gave me and another of how much I missed him (he was out of the country for the holidays) I received a text saying that he didn't like what I did on FB...which was discover he has a FB page with about 6 other girls from POF on it, and basically blew his cover. Little did he know, I was friends with one of the girls he was trying to hook up with. She saw his namw (a very uncommon one for around here) and deleted both of us. Basically, what I am trying to say is that it pays to look on FB, google, and it is also VERY beneficial to have a friend who is a reporter for the paper. As soon as I mentioned his name, she did some checks, and with her help, figured out that je was definately NOT who he said he was.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 23
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 1/12/2013 1:13:49 PM
From what it looks like is the women keep thinking they will find a guy better than the last one . Unfortunately that leads
to being alone . Also it seems they are only interested in looks and how big your wallet is.Unfortunately the pretty boys
are the ones that give us average guys a bad name lol.
 Carmen46
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 24
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:08:11 PM
If there are more single guys in New York than in Canada than im moving to New York!
 sunny_in_therain
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 25
Why are their so many more guys looking to meet on here then women.
Posted: 1/27/2013 10:23:48 PM
dont do it!! the many I have met here in NY are married and cheating. I cant tell you how many times I caught some in lies, then they justify it by saying we are together for financial reasons, or for the kids etc....Id rather live in a tent then live with my ex, past is the past.
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