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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?      Home login  
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 Palifornia562
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 1
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?Page 1 of 1    
So last Thursday I met a girl off of another site. We met up for drinks, hit it off great! The meet was 4 hours long....it was just very good, we clicked, we flirted, her body language showed signs of interest, etc etc. So when we left, I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I asked her when can I see her again, and she said she was busy the weekend with family, but we can go out Monday.

So now it is Monday night, we went out, had a great time again, great chemistry, she seemed extremely into me. At the end of the night, I drop her off where she parked, walked to her to her car. I embrace her in a hug and I try to give her a kiss, and she turns her face so I kissed her cheek. I tried again, and she turned her face so I kissed the other cheek. She was in a playful manner, but she wouldn't let me kiss her on her lips. So.....what is up with this?? I really like this girl, and it seems like she really likes me too. Should I still pursue her, or is her not kissing me a bad sign?
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 12:41:06 AM
Pal, sounds like she's NOT sure whether she likes you more than a friend... As well if she is dating someone, which happens with both genders, she may be wanting to break away, BUT is still involved with someone...

It is hard to say, guess after two dates you may ask her if she is interested in getting to know you on a more personal level...

Ultimately you are asking strangers to read her mind, and it can be a plethora of things...
 hideinyourcurls
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 3
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 1:12:03 AM
You really have no way of knowing until you've spent more time with her. She may be unsure of whether she likes you or not. She may be guarded from past relationships. Or, she may be like me :D and refuse to kiss a guy until she knows him better.

I don't like to ever kiss someone until I know for sure that it's a relationship that's going somewhere, otherwise, I feel it's wasted. I mean, they say that you can't truly get to know someone until you've dated for a couple years. Me thinks a few more dates before kissing commences isn't too much to ask :)
 pdlop
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 4
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 1:22:42 AM
It is time to break out the phone and text that same question to her, tell her that you really like her and wanted to kiss her but since she turned away you are not sure how she feels. Word it in you own way but in a nutshell text this girl, she might have been shy, she might have thought it was too fast or she might not be interested in you that way. A quick peck on the lips on the second date she should have went for that bro. That is brutal.lol. I can only imagine, after the first cheek turn why didn't you call it a night. You double cheeked her a ss. lol. Confusing stuff i know
 feistyredangel
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 5
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 3:25:02 AM
Maybe she is not into PDA. Maybe you should have just said "can I have a kiss?"

And yes, call her and ask her this same question. Don't berate her for an answer either.
I went on one date with a guy that tried to go in for a 'shove his tongue down my throat in the middle of a busy mall' kiss. Then text'd me for an hour after asking why he didn't get a kiss. When I told him, he still acted all insulted and wanted me to explain further till he finally p!ssed me off and I had to get nasty about it. Ugh.
 Atlantis80
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 6
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 3:55:26 AM
For me...I wouldn't let some guy Im not totally into kiss me because Im just not feeling it.

I've had some guys who just weren't getting it try to force me to kiss them but that aint happening either.

If I liked a guy, I wouldnt be turning away from his attempts to kiss me. True story.
 Svetlana Blue
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 7
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 4:20:23 AM
If I am not totally into someone, I cannot go there. I am funny about ANY type of intimacy. Best advice is maybe to ask her IN PERSON. Maybe she does not ko what you really want either. People need to communicate more then we won't have so many messed up relationships down the line.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 8
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 4:52:28 AM

Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?


Yep... All the ones not interested in you in a romantic way. And a few that just won't kiss on the first date even if they are interested but they are fewer in numbers in my experiance anyway.

Honestly now I am NOT talking some sloppy kiss here but if at the end of a real date I don't get a sincere hug and a SHORT quick kiss that shows they are interested and there might be a better one on the second date.... there won't be a second date. We just are not a match. If there is not a decent kiss after two dates there is obviously no chemistry or attraction happening and it is time to move on.

Some guys have this twisted idea and expect sex on the second or third date. I don't! LOL But if there is no decent kiss after two real dates then it is a sign... Time to get back to fishing generally. She is not attracted to you in a romantic way. May like you as a friend but after two dates she should be showing that she has some physical atrraction to you somehow and a goodnight kiss is sort of an obvious way. Again I am not talking a make out session in the back seat of a car. I am talking a decent good night kiss here to let you know she is interested in you.

Things can move forward slowly in these matters but they need to keep moving forward in some way.

Cowboy
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 9
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 5:55:24 AM
Notice that so far the women are saying it's fine and the men are saying it's not ok? I'm sure that will break up soon... but just sayin'.

It's fine. All it means is that she's not sure about you yet. If everything else seems wonderful, she just needs a little time.

I am like this as well. When I am looking to get into a relationship with the guy, I like to know him and whether or not I like him beyond a superficial level. This doesn't take months or anything - but it may take a few dates. The more you up the physical stuff, the more I become 'soft'. I want to know who I am falling for before I let myself fall.

There's nothing wrong with asking her though to be sure...
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 10
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 5:57:20 AM
After a 4 hour date, no kiss? How do you spend 4 hours with someone you have no chemistry with? The last time I had a 4 hour date, we hugged a, had a quick kiss at the end and dated for 3 yrs. I'm thinking she's not into you....that no kiss after date 2 pretty much confirms it. If she is into you, then she's playing some kind of stupid game or something.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 11
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:15:38 AM

I am like this as well. When I am looking to get into a relationship with the guy, I like to know him and whether or not I like him beyond a superficial level. This doesn't take months or anything - but it may take a few dates


No one is talking about getting into a relationship here Darlin. LOL He was hoping for a kiss good night after a couple dates. Kissing a guy does not require a "relationship" !

It requires being attracted to him and feeling some level of chemistry going on perhaps. A relationship? ??? Good grief.... When I use that term I am in a committed monogamous situation and their is a LOT more then kissing going on!

If your not getting some sort of good night kiss (not on the cheek) after a couple dates with most gals your not going to get one after 10 dates either.

Ya know it after 2 dates for sure. Almost every one of my first real dates (not first meets) end in at least a short soft kiss.

Expecting guys to hang on after several real dates when there has been no good night kiss is beyond realistic in my opinion. You know by then for sure and you need to show the guy somehow.

Cowboy
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 12
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:19:48 AM
Handshakes on a first date are whack! So are hugs! Those are the no callback dates.
 American-Boy
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 13
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:23:44 AM

Maybe you should have just said "can I have a kiss?"


Yeah, right and be perceived as a total wuss.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 14
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:38:55 AM
OP: Well considering the first date was 4 hours long, I think it is safe to say she likes you. I wouldn't spend that much time with a man on a date unless there was "something" there.

According to what you said, "she was in a playful mood", and maybe she was just playing "hard to get" and/or not ready to French kiss just yet.

I wouldn't "throw in the towel" just yet. Ask her out again and feel things out.

EDIT: Next date, DO NOT try to shove your tongue into her mouth. Be smooth about it, and see what her body language is beforehand.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 15
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:59:31 AM
First date?
Stay away from my mouth.


EDIT: Next date, DO NOT try to shove your tongue into her mouth. Be smooth about it, and see what her body language is beforehand.
Agree.

Nothing worse than having to wipe and spit on the way home.
 feistyredangel
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 16
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 7:12:24 AM

Yeah, right and be perceived as a total wuss.


Not hardly. It shows respect and shows that you aren't afraid to go after what you want.

Going in for one without making sure the other party is interested is an azzhat move, IMO.
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 17
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:39:33 AM
I have to agree first date you aren't going to be kissing me. Sorry just not going there.

OP I think alot of us look at the meet and greet just that it isn't a date. So there just isn't the intimacy there for me. The first date to me is after the meet and greet and well you still aren't going to be swapping spit with me. Kiss on the cheek would be fine...

A kiss or a hug can be very intimate.

My advice talk to her.
 OpenHeart928
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 18
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:41:25 AM

First date?
Stay away from my mouth.


Same here.

4 hours isn't enough time to know if any mouth is worthy of mine yet. I don't know where that mouth has been or what it's been kissing to know if I want to be indirectly kissing "that."

OP, ask her. Tell her. Sounds like she likes you as you got a few hours spanning two dates. But she has no idea what your mouth has been up to just yet. And for all you know she's ended up dealing with enough sleazy men that she wants to continue to get to know you to make sure you are worthy of swapping saliva. Obviously she doesn't know that yet, or doesn't feel it with you. Communication will yield your answer.
 shaylyn
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 19
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Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:52:14 AM
I am like some of the others, first date kisses do not happen. Spending one day with someone isn't long enough for me to decide if I want to kiss them or not.
Like another poster said, just go with the flow, if she wants a kiss, she will get a kiss.

Just because someone doesn't kiss you on the first date, doesn't always mean they are not interested, esp when their body language is suggesting very highly that they are.

Best of Luck!
 ForumFlounder
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 20
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:53:12 AM
OP - Not all women who are into you are gonna kiss you on the first date. Same as not all women who are into you are gonna have sex with you by the third date (or whatever the "rule" is nowadays!?) ..... Since when did anyone set these so-called "rules" up and make them official?? ... Some of you put too much face value in this whole timing issue crap. .... Things are best when they flow freely, not forced or rehearsed to "suppose" to happen at precisely such and such moments. *rolleyes*

I totally agree w/blayze209 on this one:


Not hardly. It shows respect and shows that you aren't afraid to go after what you want.

Going in for one without making sure the other party is interested is an azzhat move, IMO.


It was in response to:


Yeah, right and be perceived as a total wuss.



Which was in response to:


Maybe you should have just said "can I have a kiss?"


Nothing wrong with asking for a kiss, it shows you are bold yet gentleman enough to ask her about it. Take it like a man if she refuses. This is much better than say if you dived in for a kiss and she just turns her cheek or worst yet, pushes you/retracts. Talk about awkwardness then! Yes, and you would look like a total azzhat too!
 ForumOnly
Joined: 2/13/2009
Msg: 21
Any girls here that don't kiss on the first date?
Posted: 11/17/2009 9:04:33 AM
Lol the bob and weave on the first kiss was a signal that you probably shouldn't have gone in the the second one, which was also bob and weaved. At least you got the message by the second time, lol.
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